Justice Boys, by Sheryl Monks

Rita takes the baby, still scream­ing, from the tub of water, lays him on his back on the floor between her legs, kneads his stom­ach, fit to burst, with her fin­gers. Beside them, shards of soap, home­made sup­pos­i­to­ries. His face the col­or of cran­ber­ries, ton­sils rag­ing, he stiff­ens, bucks when she tries lift­ing his legs. She is forced to pry him open like a frozen chick­en, and even then, the soap does no good, brings nei­ther of them relief.

Stand away from the win­dows,” she tells the girls, but won’t let them leave the room. They want to watch The Won­der­ful World of Dis­ney, but Rita has lit the front room only as much as she has to. “Rock your babies,” she says. “They’re sleepy.”

Mine has a belly­ache,” the younger one says, ask­ing for a piece of soap, going to work on the doll when Rita says it’s okay, any­thing to keep qui­et. Jesse, the eldest, does not offer to take up her doll. She pulls her sis­ter to the floor cov­ered in Chee­rios, bribes her with toy bot­tles of orange juice. She turns the bot­tle up to the doll’s mouth, watch­es the flu­id inside dis­ap­pear. “Not orange juice,” the lit­tler one says. “Cas­tor oil.” Her brother’s cries do not faze her like they do her mother.

The baby, five weeks old, lays down hard on his scream, though now his throat tight­ens in a hushed blue choke that scares Rita more than the locked bow­els, more than the Jus­tice boys outside.

Arjay is still gone with Ken­ny, but the Duster’s in the yard, and that’s what draws them, fir­ing their shots now and again at the bag of dog food lean­ing next to the house or at the tulip-shaped retreads Arjay cut up to hem in the peonies.

They leave the car alone, use­less to her as the soap. Use­less as Arjay, gone again as always, some­times three and four days. This time, he takes Ken­ny and Jim­bo and a stick of dyna­mite Ken­ny swiped from Lit­war. Ken­ny is half sense­less, espe­cial­ly when he’s drink­ing and that’s always. He tells Arjay they’re going to fin­ish this thing tonight, but lot of good that does Rita now with them out­side, the one Jus­tice boy Arjay took a pool stick to at Lucy’s mak­ing turkey calls. Leon. Rita got a good look at him at East­er, up at the park, when they came dri­ving by slow and pulled their van over by the slides where they could watch the kids.

Leon’s dull eyes had fol­lowed the kids run­ning across the grass, jostling pink and green bas­kets too big for some. He’d sin­gled out Rita’s girls trip­ping in the hems of their long dress­es, the lit­tler one squat­ting down in a frus­trat­ed heap, cry­ing. He knew Rita saw him watch­ing, knew Arjay was watch­ing, too. He’d stuck a gray, leathered arm scabbed over with new­ly nee­dled tat­toos out the win­dow of the van and point­ed out Jesse and Sis to his kin with him there inside the van.

Arjay had glared at Leon and turned back to Ken­ny and Jim­bo and the rest, all fist­ed up in a hud­dle, draw­ing hard on their cig­a­rettes, issu­ing silent death threats over their shoul­ders.
Leon had got a good look at Rita, too, she was sure, wear­ing poly­ester pants and sit­ting on top a pic­nic table smok­ing a Kool. When she saw Leon, she’d scraped the fire off the end of it against the cement table and laid the butt down for lat­er. Half in shad­ow, his arm drap­ing the side of the van, Leon had smiled, rubbed his hand on the door pan­el like it might have been Rita’s ass and let go a lunatic laugh out the opened black win­dow of the van to where she sat, cross­ing her arms, hunch­ing for­ward. The wind had been chap­ping the kids’ cheeks and fin­gers all morn­ing, but she’d left them alone. Leon leaned out the win­dow, into the full sun, made a peace sign, then laid his fin­gers over his mouth and tongued the V that rep­re­sent­ed Rita.

She gave him the fin­ger, and then Leon laid down on the horn that issued forth a tin­ny ver­sion of reveille and the kids stopped search­ing for the lucky egg and looked, pan­ic-strick­en, toward the van at the edge of the woods. Leon gunned the engine and balled tire marks over the pave­ment. “We’re watch­ing!” he called out, and the pan­el doors swung open wide now to show their num­ber. Rita knew it wasn’t even half of them, but still it must’ve been six, sev­en maybe.

Harley, the youngest, had stood behind Leon’s seat, his bare, mus­cled arms fixed over­head, braced against the van’s ceil­ing to keep from being thrown. His jaw was set and showed the same wor­ry Rita felt. After a minute or two of being taunt­ed by the oth­er men inside the van, he was coaxed into throw­ing glass bot­tles against the road as they’d been doing, but Rita sensed that Harley had val­ues pre­vail­ing over the bonds of kin­ship. He shared the hol­lowed face of his rel­a­tives, the same sharp nose, same deep-set eyes. But the flesh on his back was clean, like his dark, shag­gy hair and the whites of his eyes.

Arjay and Ken­ny and Jim­bo and the oth­ers had gone back to their vehi­cles and stood like sen­tinels around the perime­ter of the park. Leon stopped the van sud­den­ly in front of Rita and swung an arm out the win­dow, his filthy fin­gers graz­ing her blouse. She jerked away, but still they were close enough now to pull her into the opened door of the van if they’d want­ed. Rita’s eyes searched for Harley, but he’d been slung deep­er into the group toward the rear of the vehi­cle. The oth­ers stood in his place, each of them with their eyes locked on Rita’s body, some ges­tur­ing blowjobs or fondling them­selves to put the fear in her. They knew bet­ter than to do any­thing though. There were more guns in that park than at Appomattox.

Inside the house now, Rita almost wish­es they’d come in and see for them­selves that Arjay’s not there. But not really.

The baby has squalled him­self into a stu­por. He has Arjay’s light hair, broad fore­head. Rita imag­ines it full grown, under a car­bide light like the one her dad­dy wore. She can still smell it, still see the buck­ets of water he car­ried with him.

Arjay’s own wet-cell bat­tery and hard­hat hang per­ma­nent­ly on a peg by the door with his miner’s belt. She’d near­ly cried when she washed up his din­ner buck­et and put it away.
Wild­cat strikes have shut down the mines, and this time, Arjay told Rita, he hopes they stick it to the coal boss­es good. Carter can order them back in under Taft-Hart­ley all he wants, he says, but he’ll not scab work. Not even if their food stamps are tak­en. Not even if he’s left hunt­ing scrap iron for the rest of his born days.

That’s what start­ed things with the Jus­tice boys. Arjay and Jim­bo had been dri­ving up and down hollers look­ing for pieces of scrap iron to sell to Luther Lin­ny over in Mile Branch. Arjay said they drove deep into Min­go Coun­ty, found them­selves in name­less back­woods. Drove clear up the top of a moun­tain. Was about dark by the time they found any­thing worth sal­vaging, an old engine block they threw into the trunk and count­ed as the day’s last.

Arjay says he backed the Duster up onto the bank and turned around. They hadn’t seen house lights before then, but all of a sud­den, a truck drew up front of them and about twen­ty big hoss­es jumped down off its fend­ers and start­ed cussing Arjay and Jim­bo. One took a crow­bar and ripped the chrome off the Duster and then smacked Arjay down across the head with his fist. Then the one that hit him walked around and pried the trunk open, said, “This don’t belong to you” and rolled the scrap iron down into the branch where it could keep on rusting.

When Ken­ny heard what hap­pened, he said, “Let’s go kill them son-of-a-bitch­es,” and hand­ed Arjay a stick of dyna­mite he took off the job. They’d been stand­ing around out­side Lucy’s, a tav­ern Ken­ny laid up at most of the time. Arjay stood lis­ten­ing to Jim­bo retell how the name­less elder Jus­tice had cold-cocked him.

Yeah,” Arjay said, “but you get one of them pussies alone.”
Leon had pulled into the grav­el lot then and walked brazen­ly into the bar
, fig­ur­ing, they guessed, no one had balls enough to fuck around with any of their clan, lest they want­ed hell itself unleashed. Arjay had fol­lowed Leon inside and shoved him into a bank of emp­ty stools lin­ing the bar.

Who the hell!” Leon yelled, grab­bing a pool stick. Ken­ny and Jim­bo dragged Leon back toward the pool tables, away from the oth­er drunks, then walked back and sat at the bar and watched the beat­ing Arjay gave Leon with the pool stick he’d tak­en from him.

When Arjay was sat­is­fied Leon wasn’t get­ting up again, they lit out of the bar, swag­ger­ing. Out­side, Ken­ny reached through the win­dow of the Road­run­ner and pulled the dyna­mite out of the glove box, hand­ed it to Arjay. “Let’s go kill them son-of-a-bitch­es,” he said. 

Arjay turned the explo­sive over in his hand and nodded.

Awright,” Ken­ny said, and the three of them hopped in the car and took off.

But for all Rita knows, Arjay and Ken­ny and Jim­bo could be dead, float­ing some­where along Tug Riv­er. In a few days, they might wash up like those do who meet up with the Jus­tices.
Right now all she real­ly cares about is work­ing the knots out of her infant son’s bel­ly. He writhes and screams a white-hot holler and Rita sees the face of her younger broth­er, dying in a jun­gle in some place called Lang Vei and real­izes there is no get­ting out of this strug­gle but by death. The baby sweats and bays low now like some­thing wild from that jun­gle or from this one, like maybe a moun­tain scream­er. But he quits mov­ing, just like Arminta’s baby had, and Rita knows her son has lit­tle fight left in him. She grabs him up quick.

What’s wrong, Mom­my?” her eldest daugh­ter asks with an aged lit­tle face.

Rita sur­veys the room, finds the keys to the Duster hang­ing on the nail by the door. “Noth­ing, Baby,” she says. “Everything’s awright.” But as she cra­dles the burn­ing hot infant in her arms, Rita tries to remem­ber when she heard the last shot fired at the porch and can’t. “We’re tak­ing Broth­er to the clin­ic.” She hopes a doc­tor will still see her, now that the med­ical card is gone, but she has to try. “Stay close to me,” she tells the girls. “When I open the door, y’all climb in the back­seat from this side. Okay? This side clos­est the house.”

You know how to dri­ve, Mom­my?” the lit­tler one asks. “I nev­er seen you dri­ve before. Where’s Daddy?”

Don’t be scared,” the eldest says, tak­ing her sis­ter by the hand. “Mommy’s a good dri­ver. We go dri­ving all the time. Don’t we, Mommy?”

That’s right, angel. Now you girls stay behind Mom­my and keep qui­et as mouses.”

I can keep qui­eter than a baby mouse this lit­tle,” says the youngest, mea­sur­ing a size almost imper­cep­ti­ble with her tiny fingers.

Rita con­sid­ers turn­ing off all the lights, but decides against it, think­ing it bet­ter not to do any­thing that might sig­nal the Jus­tice boys. The baby is qui­et now, but she is not grate­ful and half hopes that when the wind hits him, he’ll come scream­ing back to life. Only the girls wince, though, when the wind lifts the tails of their nightgowns.

Okay, hur­ry, hur­ry, hur­ry,” whis­pers Rita, hold­ing open the car door. Then she scooches across the front seat and lays the baby beside her. Hold­ing a hand to his hard bel­ly, she fum­bles with the keys, but the car won’t crank. It hops for­ward, though, and now she is sure the Jus­tice boys are watching.

They’d prob­a­bly seen her all along. Rita imag­ines one pok­ing anoth­er in the ribs when she came creep­ing out­side with the kids. “Lookey, lookey,” he prob­a­bly said, dig­ging an old clump of chew from his jowls and pack­ing in new. She hears anoth­er bird­call, turkey or duck or some such, and thinks it sounds like Leon maybe.

The clin­ic is in Welch, thir­ty miles away, but if she can get through the gears, Rita knows she can steer that car all night if she has to. It is the ped­als that both­er her. Arjay said to use only one foot for the brake and the gas, but she can’t work the clutch to keep the car idling. 

Jesse, climb up here and keep a hand on Broth­er for Mommy.”

I want to,” the younger one whines.

Awright,” Rita says. “He can ride between you, but don’t be pok­ing him, Sis. He don’t feel good.”

I know, Mom­my. That’s why we’re going to the doctor.”

That’s right. Now don’t hold his bel­ly too tight. Just keep him from falling in the floor.” Rita looks at her eldest and then out the back wind­shield into the dark. She tries again to crank the car, talks her­self through it once and then some­how they lurch forward.

Behind her a set of head­lights come on and she real­izes hers are not. “Shit,” she says, twist­ing knobs until she finds them. She grips the steer­ing wheel with both hands and glances too often in the rearview mirror.

But let them fol­low her if they want. They only mean to scare her. She spoke to Harley once, at the pro­duce stand, when his moth­er had died. “Real sor­ry about your mom­my,” she had offered.

Thank you, lady,” he’d said, and Rita had won­dered if any­one had ever called her lady before.

No, she thinks.

Harley won’t let the oth­ers do any­thing to her, if he can help it.

But he is the youngest, and Leon has a score to settle.

Sing ‘The Stars at Night,’ Mom­my,” the youngest girl says from the backseat.

Rita steps on the clutch and grinds the last gear. The curves scare her, so she touch­es the brake and the car chugs. Down­shift she hears Arjay telling her. The car begins to stall, but she push­es the clutch and brings it back to life at a speed she can han­dle, though the sud­den jerk­ing makes the younger girl shriek. “E‑e-e‑e! Are we wreck­ing, Mommy?”

No, Sis,” the eldest says. “Mommy’s only play­ing. Right, Mommy?”

Rita’s voice is thin as she begins to sing. “The stars at night.”

The lit­tler girl belts out, “Are big and bright!”

Then Jesse. “Deep in the heart of Texas.”

Coy­otes wail.”

Around the trail!”

Deep in the heart of Texas.”

In the dark, Rita can’t spot a sin­gle star for the heavy swag of tree branch­es that flank the road as it winds itself around the moun­tain. The night air is nip­py, but she leaves a win­dow down for the baby when what the baby real­ly needs, she knows, is more than a breath of fresh air. Maybe she leaves it down for her­self, to cool her face, flushed with heat and wor­ry. The baby hasn’t stirred at all, and she doesn’t ask if he is all right, just begs God again that he will be.

Behind her, the Jus­tice boys keep a watch­ful dis­tance, and in Rita’s mind they are bid­ing time until she turns the car over the hill­side of her own doing. The roads are bad to break off at the edges where coal trucks have soft­ened the asphalt, so she keeps an eye out for pot­holes that will stall the car and scare the kids and then do in her nerves alto­geth­er. The win­dow is fogged from the inside with old cig­a­rette smoke, and the more she wipes at it with her sleeve, the more blur­ry things out­side become. If an ani­mal leaps out, she has already decid­ed she will run it over. Any­thing to keep from stalling.

Blow the horn loud, Mom­my, when we get to the under­pass,” Sis says.

You don’t have to honk at night,” Jesse says. “You can see the head­lights coming.”

I don’t care. Will you honk any­way, Mom­my? Ple-e-ease?”

Okay,” Rita says. “Now, sit back.”

When the road final­ly straight­ens out a spell, it comes down along the Tug. Even tinged with mud, and even in the shad­ows of night, water sparkles now and again like flecks of fool’s gold across the wide gulch that is the river’s bed. How many fools are down there Rita does not know, but she guess­es that Arjay and Ken­ny a
nd Jim­bo with their dyna­mite might be. Even if they had already called the oth­er Jus­tice boys out and held the dyna­mite over­head and said, “Let this be the end of it here and now,” that doesn’t do Rita an ounce of good. Four or maybe five men are in the vehi­cle behind her, she is sure, and even with Harley among them, she has the clear­est notion that she and her babies are soon to become a mes­sage to Arjay and Ken­ny that nobody fucks with the Jus­tice boys.

On the straight­away, Leon guns his engine as if he intends to ram Rita in the ass-end. Then he swerves into the pass­ing lane and edges up along­side the Duster. He leans across the seat and two oth­er men and waves fierce­ly for her to pull over.

Rita trains her eyes on the road, only half-glanc­ing at him, and when she does, she sees Harley lean up from the back­seat to tell him some­thing. She seizes the chance to out­run Leon while he’s dis­tract­ed. If he reach­es the under­pass before she does, there is no get­ting by.

She will get by, though, she tells her­self. She will.

Still, she begins mak­ing plans of how like a fer­al bitch she will fight. She sup­pos­es it might only make them laugh, that they might hurt one of her kids. So help me God, she swears in her head, and then briefly pon­ders whether it might not instead be bet­ter to play up to them. She will do any­thing to save her babies. What­ev­er it takes.

She checks the rearview and sud­den­ly can­not find them. She looks beside her. Noth­ing. They’re in her blind spot, but gain­ing on her. She imag­ines what Leon will do if he has the chance. She sees his tat­tooed arms reach­ing for her, tear­ing at her clothes; and turn­ing onto the bridge that spans the riv­er, she plunges the Duster into the ditch run­ning along­side the mountain.

Jesse bolts up, looks through the back win­dow. “Hur­ry, Mom­my. They’re coming!”

Who’s com­ing?” Sis wants to know, and she begins to cry so loud Rita thinks sure­ly it will star­tle the baby and bring him scream­ing back to them now. But it doesn’t. He lays as qui­et as before, though now even Jesse begins to whim­per, “Hur­ry, Mom­my, hurry!”

Rita stomps hard on the clutch and cranks, and when the engine fires, she lets off the ped­al quick. But the car is stuck hard and the engine stalls again. “Lock the doors!” she tells Jesse, hur­ry­ing, her­self, to roll up the win­dow. “Hold onto Broth­er, girls.”

Behind them, six men step out of the van and walk in front of the head­lights, then march for­ward issu­ing cat­calls and whistles.

Rita holds down the clutch and cranks, but the engine turns over again and again with­out fir­ing. She can hear Arjay giv­ing her instruc­tions, but she can’t tell what he is say­ing. She clos­es her eyes and concentrates.

There is a tap on the win­dow and Jesse screams and jerks Rita’s shoul­ders. Her eyes fly open and she is face to gray face with Leon, press­ing against the glass beside her. His eye is bust­ed up, the eye­lid turned back, every­thing bloody and black­ened. “You need a jump start, lit­tle woman,” he says. “Harley, bring over the cables and van.” Men cir­cle the Duster and Harley hes­i­tates, moves instead to a win­dow where Rita can see him. Leon moves between him and the Duster.

Get the jumper cables.”

Rita’s heart ham­mers inside her brain when Harley leaves. “Please,” she says. “My baby is so sick, Leon. Please, just let us go to the clinic.”

Nobody stop­ping you,” Leon says, grin­ning side­ways at the oth­er Jus­tice boys. “Looks like you’re stalled. Want me to give you a lift? I’ll give you a good lift. Now roll down the window.”

Harley cranks the van and it back­fires. The men star­tle, then laugh loud­ly. Rita is dis­ap­point­ed it’s not the sound of a bul­let bar­rel­ing toward Leon, some unlike­ly res­cue attempt come late­ly by Arjay and Kenny.

Get out of the car,” Leon says.

No.”

He pounds on the win­dow and the rest of the men cir­cle the car, knock­ing on the glass, scar­ing the kids. The Duster is set to rock­ing, and Jesse holds onto her broth­er and sis­ter to keep them from being hurt. Rita tries to think, but there’s noth­ing she can do.

Harley pulls the van around in front of the Duster and pops the hood. Leon tells Rita to pop hers, too. She’s afraid. What if he does some­thing else to the car? If she waits a while, the flood­ed engine might cor­rect itself. “It’s okay,” Harley says. “I swear.”

Leon watch­es. She releas­es the hood. She has no choice. 

I hate you,” Jesse tells Leon through the win­dow. He smacks the glass and she jumps back. The baby is still qui­et, but Sis screams unremit­ting­ly. She climbs over the front seat and Rita holds her, stroking her head. “It’s awright, baby,” Rita says, kiss­ing her, try­ing to steady her own heart, to keep her voice even for the girls. She begins to sing. “The stars at night, are big and bright. Deep in the heart of Texas.”

Stand­ing frozen on the hump in the back­seat floor­board, Jesse sings, too, through tears she doesn’t remem­ber allow­ing. “Coy­otes wail around the trail. Deep in the heart of Texas.”

Then there is anoth­er sound, a horn. “Someone’s honk­ing, Mom­my,” Sis says, pulling up from Rita’s lap to look for the car com­ing through the underpass.

She’s right. Across the riv­er, a car is com­ing through the under­pass. The men step away from the Duster and Rita tries the igni­tion again, but the bat­tery is too weak. If she lays down on the horn now, it might fin­ish it off com­plete­ly. She waits for the head­lights of the approach­ing vehi­cle to near. When they do, Leon steps into the high­way and flags the car around. It is an old man. He slows the car, look­ing around at the group sur­round­ing the Duster, low­ers his win­dow and asks if there’s any­thing he can do. It is dark inside both cars, Rita real­izes, reach­ing over­head to turn on the inte­ri­or light inside the Duster, hop­ing he will see them and real­ize the dan­ger they’re in. She can’t see if the old man is alone or hear what he is say­ing, but she is cer­tain Leon will scare him away some­how. There may not be anoth­er car come through the under­pass for hours. Then what’ll she do? There’s no way she can get the Duster start­ed again. This is it, her only chance. She has to try to save the baby if she can.

She scram­bles to gath­er up her son from the back­seat. She wraps him tight­ly in his blanket.

Lock the door behind me and don’t open it for noth­ing,” she tells Jesse. Jesse’s face flush­es red, her pale eyes are wild with fear. “You’re Mommy’s brave girl. Love you.” She kiss­es both girls, then opens the door and makes a break for the old man’s car. Leon is explain­ing that his wife has slid off into the ditch and that he and his broth­ers are there to pull her out.

Much oblig­ed, though,” he is say­ing when Rita comes run­ning up behind him with the baby.

Help!” she screams. “Help me!” She reach­es the win­dow and by now, Leon has threat­ened the old man to move out. The car rolls for­ward and Rita runs with all her strength, beg­ging the old man to stop. “My baby!” she says. “Take my baby!”

The old man glances in his side mir­ror and sees her com­ing at him with the bun­dle in her arms and slows to a crawl. Leon runs along­side and strikes a fist on the car’s trunk. “Move along!” he shouts.

But Rita reach­es the open win­dow in time and push­es the baby through to the old man. “He’s sick. Get help. I have two lit­tle gir—” Leon reach­es inside to grab the old man or maybe the baby, but the old man lays down on the accel­er­a­tor and the car is gone.

Now Rita is left stand­ing alone in the road with Leon and the oth­ers. Jesse is watch­ing from the Duster as one of the men, the scari­est one, grabs her moth­er and forces her to the black­top. She wants to cry out for Rita, but before Sis sees what’s hap­pen­ing, Jesse pulls her to the fl
oor of the car and begins singing again. “The stars at night/ Are big and bright/ Deep in the heart of Texas.”

Out­side, Harley approach­es Leon. “She ain’t to blame,” he says. “Let’s get out of here.” But there is no rea­son­ing with Leon. Rita has scratched his injured eye, and now he is good and pissed. Some­one has pulled the van around and shined its head­lights on her. She is already naked from the waist down but does not both­er cov­er­ing her­self. She holds her arms out in defense.

You think I give a fly­ing fuck about blame?” Leon says. He unbuck­les his belt, draws it slow­ly through the loops of his dark cot­ton pants, and wraps it twice around his right hand. “She ain’t to blame for being so pret­ty either. I don’t blame her for that.”

Harley steps toward his broth­er. “Her youngin’s are watch­ing, Leon. For God’s sake at least turn off the lights.” Leon spins around and strikes Harley with the belt.

Moth­er-fuck!” Harley yells.

Step away!” Leon orders and two oth­er men sidle up next to Harley and take him by the arms, mus­cle him back into the van. Leon turns around and strikes Rita with the belt now. She hops and twists to avoid the lash­es, but there is nowhere to go. The belt snaps hard on her bare flesh. Each blow is met with a yowl and a welt, but she spits at him any­way. She will fight him to the death, she has already decid­ed. He cuffs her square in the face with his fist.

Jesse cups her hands around her face in the car win­dow so she can see out­side. She catch­es her breathe and turns her head with the first strike, sings hys­ter­i­cal­ly to the top of her lungs. Rita’s shrieks come every now and then between rests in the song, and Sis lifts her head to find her moth­er. But the light inside the car is still on, and the child can see only her own reflec­tion in the win­dows. Still, she waits for the sound again, the sound of Rita’s voice, even as Jesse sings loud­er and hands her a baby doll. “The stars at night! Are BIG and BRIGHT! DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS!” Loud­er and loud­er Jesse sings. Scary loud. Bossy loud. “Play with your doll! Play with your doll!” Jesse screams at her. “Play with your doll!” She pulls her sister’s arm, shoves the doll at her, then climbs down in the floor­board to search for the mag­ic bot­tle of orange juice. It must have rolled up under the seat, but Jesse can­not find it. It has dis­ap­peared, the mag­ic bot­tle of orange juice. Dis­ap­peared itself. Alto­geth­er van­ished. Maybe it nev­er was there. But it must be. It was. Jesse knows it was. It was right there. A minute ago, it was there in the back­seat. She flops over the rub­ber floor mat, caked with mud and wrin­kled up around the hump in the floor­board from their hid­ing down there from Leon like Rita had told them to do. She slides her hand up under the seat, push­es her whole arm under, and feels some­thing. Some­thing hard, some­thing cold. She has her hand on it, pulls it out. It is Arjay’s Colt. Jesse has nev­er seen it before, but she knows her dad­dy has guns. It looks real, like the ones on T.V. It is heavy in her small hands, and so cold, cold like ice almost. Her sis­ter recoils at the sight of the gun. Her shiny, blink­ing eyes widen. They are in trou­ble. Big trou­ble. She wants her mom­my and dad­dy. She wants her brother.

Leon hits Rita again with his fist. He beats her until she falls to the road, balls up to pro­tect her face. He yanks her by the hair, pulls her to her feet, rips her blouse. “Yes,” she says. “Let’s go some­where, Leon. Away from here. Me and you.”

Leon press­es his mouth to hers. She gags on his tongue and he jerks free of her. She reach­es for him fran­ti­cal­ly, kiss­es him again. Her eyes look toward the Duster. She sees Harley. He is mov­ing toward the car. Thank God, she thinks. He will rap soft­ly on the win­dow until the girls open the door. He will sneak them back to the van and take them out of there. She can see the girls clear­ly inside the car.

Leon forces her back to the pave­ment, pries apart her legs with his knee, unzips. She doesn’t fight him; she weeps but clings hard to his wiry body, hopes Harley will be faster than his broth­er. She can no longer see him. She clos­es her eyes, waits to hear the wel­come sound of an engine fir­ing up. 

When Harley reach­es the Duster, he holds a fin­ger to his lips, says “Shhh.” But the girls can­not see him, so he tries the door han­dle, and when she hears it rat­tle, Jessie turns with the Colt in her hands. She sees a man. He is a bad man. She rais­es the gun and there is a noise. A loud noise. A bang. The car win­dow shat­ters. Sis screams. The man is gone.

Leon jerks at the sound of gun­fire, pulls away from Rita. She clutch­es for him to stay, but he is up and run­ning with the oth­ers toward the Duster. “No!” she screams, beg­ging him not to go, scram­bling after him. Leon lags behind his kin, right­ing his pants and belt. He yells Harley’s name. Rita watch­es Leon fall to his knees beside the Duster. She hears him cry out in anguish. Hears them all curse and cry. “Oh, Jesus,” they wail. “That fuck­ing kid!”

The dome light inside the car flick­ers. It looks like a star. It is big and bright.

Until she was about ten years old, Sheryl Monks lived with her fam­i­ly in McDow­ell Coun­ty, WV, the poor­est coun­ty in the nation, at least at one point in time. All her writ­ing comes from there. Any­thing that mat­ters anyway.

Sheryl's sto­ries have earned recog­ni­tion and awards, includ­ing a North­west NC Region­al Artist's Project Grant, the Reynolds Price Short Fic­tion Award, and final­ist recog­ni­tion in lit­er­ary con­tests spon­sored by Back­wards City Review and VERB: An Audio­quar­ter­ly. Work has appeared or is forth­com­ing in RE:AL — Regard­ing Arts and Let­ters, Back­wards City Review, South­ern Goth­ic, Sur­re­al South, and oth­er pub­li­ca­tions. She is cur­rent­ly writ­ing a nov­el set in Beartown, WV.

Posted in Fiction, sheryl monks | Leave a comment

Survivalism: Not Just For the Right-Winged Anymore

Orig­i­nal fic­tion, essays,and poet­ry com­ing tomor­row or the next day; it's been a bit of a wreck around here last week and this. Had to make a quick trip back to my par­ents to vis­it my 95-year-old grand­ma, who is sad­ly liv­ing her last days in this world. Fif­teen hours in the car in 48 hours. Not fun, but had to be done. This woman made me sug­ar cook­ies spe­cial every Christ­mas for years and years, until her hands couldn't do it. Any­way. Don't get me start­ed. I'll blubber.

It was nice to see my fam­i­ly, if only for a day, real­ly. Break­fast with my sister's fam­i­ly, bon­fire at my niece's, light­ning bugs and coy­ote howls and s'mores, and best of all, a long trip down dirt roads late at night, deer in the head­lights and pos­sums in the road. It wasn't all bad.

Now for the top­ic at hand. I have been a sur­vival­ist of sorts in mind since about 1980. I nev­er leave home with­out a knife and a means of mak­ing fire even now. My first abort­ed nov­el was a post-apoc­a­lyp­tic kind of thing. If I could build a bunker here in Revere to save my fam­i­ly from the end of civ­i­liza­tion, I would. I'm as prepped as I can be. I have the skills to sur­vive it. If it comes. So I laugh a lit­tle bit at the sur­bur­ban folks pan­ick­ing now. Like, have you paid atten­tion for the last forty years?

Thank god the red­necks will all prob­a­bly survive. 🙂

SAN DIEGO — Six months ago, Jim Wise­man didn't even have a spare nutri­tion bar in his kitchen cabinet.

Now, the 54-year-old busi­ness­man and father of five has a back­up gen­er­a­tor, a water fil­ter, a grain mill and a 4‑foot-tall pile of emer­gency food tucked in his home in the expen­sive San Diego sub­urb of La Jolla.

Wise­man isn't alone. Emer­gency sup­ply retail­ers and mil­i­tary sur­plus stores nation­wide have seen busi­ness boom in the past few months as an increas­ing num­ber of Amer­i­cans spooked by the econ­o­my rush to stock up on gear that was once the domain of hard­core survivalists.

These peo­ple snap­ping up every­thing from water purifi­ca­tion tablets to ther­mal blan­kets shat­ter the sur­vival­ist stereo­type: they are most­ly urban pro­fes­sion­als with mort­gages, SUVs, sol­id jobs and a twinge of embar­rass­ment about their new­found hobby.

More here.

Or you can see lots of hor­ri­fy­ing­ly unnec­es­sary sur­vival crap all over the inter­nets. Here's a sample:

Bat­ten your hatch­es and watch Red Dawn and the Post­man again, peo­ple. Or read one of my favorite books, Wolf & Iron, by Gor­don Dick­son. It may come to this, folks. The good thing is, if it does, I'm like­ly to stop obsess­ing over edit­ing this fuck­ing novel. 🙂

Posted in bomb shelter, gordon dickson, postman, red dawn, survival, survivalism | Leave a comment

Boner Jones, fiction by Antonios Maltezos

Bon­er Jones would see about get­ting a pair of mould­ed insoles made for his feet like the crip­ples wear, so the bot­toms of his shoes would hit the ground prop­er­ly. He would have his pants tai­lor made, stitched spe­cial so the creas­es could run good and straight down the front. He’d stop fart­ing, at least in her pres­ence. He would learn to pee like she told him he should… sit­ting down unless he was in a back alley. He would call her Sweet­ness and give her pecks on the cheek, his face fresh­ly shaven and splashed with the Old Spice, teeth scrubbed so he could final­ly go by his real name and not feel the shame, Robert Jones, his grandfather’s name, a good name from the time when most men had the bowed legs from too much of the hard life. Bon­er was the name he’d acquired on account of the big emp­ty space between his knees, from since the age of about six, that first after school thrash­ing. Bow Jones! Bow Jones! His best friends called him Bones or Bon­er for short. He’d do all that, he thought, a neat stack of base­ball hats in the cra­dle of his arm, if it was still a cou­ple years ago, and if she’d nev­er left before he could get to chang­ing, a squeeze bot­tle of burn­ing fuel in his pants pocket.

***

He had bad feet, not bad to his mind, just pecu­liar to him, but she always said they were bad, so they were bad feet and that’s why his shoes wore out so quick, his feet and knees and hips hurt­ing less once the soles of his Hush Pup­pies thinned along the out­side edge, his bowed legs pro­nounc­ing more and more as the rub­ber took on a shape very nat­ur­al and com­fort­able for him. Besides, as long as he had on a pair of bag­gy pants, the out­ward arcs of his legs, the gap between them, was pret­ty much con­cealed, but she’d hat­ed his bag­gy pants, too, tried to force a fan­cy pair of slacks on him once, the creas­es so crisp they looked pen­ciled in, fake, and bowed just like his legs, the gap like a giant wood bis­cuit or a giant football.

Yes­ter­day, he took all his clothes out­side, dumped them in the shed, and then went back inside for the base­ball hats, John Deere and the like, Pep­si-Cola, lit­ter­ing the vestibule, her words–littering the vestibule–one for each hook on the wall. He would have trou­ble decid­ing which hat he’d feel like wear­ing, so he’d spend five min­utes there every morn­ing, just a cou­ple steps from the out­side, his eyes hop­ping from one hat to the oth­er. She’d tried get­ting him to wear a hat like the kids wear –at least a hat like the kids wear, were her words, but he told her he couldn’t do it, just couldn’t bring him­self to wear a nig­ger hat down to the tav­ern, even if it had a gold­en Bo embroi­dered across the front, even the one she forced on his head, sure snug and soft, he hard­ly could tell he was wear­ing it out the door. He had it next to him all the way to town, rid­ing shot­gun just like she would. He even opened the door for it, just like he would for her, and then flung it in the trash­can between his pick­up and the tavern.

He nev­er had the mus­cles for it was all it was, but she per­sist­ed in call­ing him a cow­ard. “You lush,” she’d say like she was accus­ing him of some crim­i­nal­i­ty. Quit your drink­ing, quit this, quit that, as if a man could change who he was as easy as chang­ing an under­shirt. More she com­plained, more time he spent down to the tav­ern. “Fuck her!” he’d say upon enter­ing The Coq de la Place, as if he was the big Coq him­self, used to piss­ing stand­ing up. “Fuck her!”

***

He remem­bers bend­ing to pick them up, get­ting halfway through the job before real­iz­ing he only need­ed the one, and then wak­ing up a cou­ple hours lat­er, his face buried in his pile of clothes that smelled of week after week of heartache, stronger, even, than the smell of burn­ing fuel, wish­ing he hadn’t drunk that last beer, won­der­ing as clear­ly as the pain shoot­ing through his skull how he was going to get through this, too beer-sick and cow­ard­ly to answer the ques­tion for him­self, his peed pants, creas­es bro­ken like heavy stitch on a catcher’s glove, gone cold so he want­ed to cry, or start all over again.

Bo Jones… no, Robert Jones…he would see about get­ting a pair of mould­ed insoles made for his feet like the crip­ples wear, so the bot­toms of his shoes would hit the ground run­ning. He would have his pants tai­lor made, stitched spe­cial so the crease would run good and straight down the front. He’d stop fart­ing, at least in her pres­ence. He would learn to pee like she told him he should… sit­ting down unless he was in a back alley (or passed out like he was, a spike dri­ven deep through the side of his skull, his face still buried in a neglect as lone­ly and hol­low as a hunger and an emp­ty fridge). He would call her Sweet­ness and give her pecks on the cheek, his face fresh­ly shaven and splashed with the Old Spice, teeth scrubbed so he could final­ly go by his real name and not feel the shame of hav­ing let go of his life for noth­ing. Robert Jones, his grandfather’s name, a good name from the time when most men had the bowed legs from too much of the hard life. But first he had to cry like a baby.

Anto­nios Mal­te­zos says: "I've always dreamed of build­ing a BBQ pit that resem­bled a mau­soleum from afar, or at least a brick shit­house with wings, for roast­ing my lamb come every Greek East­er." He's thought of motor­iz­ing the spit, but then he wouldn't have those three hours alone with his cool­er full of beer, his cas­sette play­er con­nect­ed to the house by a cou­ple exten­sion cords, his dad's music out of doors as if his back­yard were a val­ley and the men had gath­ered to build a fire and drink and lament and dance and rejoice while the women were busy elsewhere.

Posted in antonios maltezos, boner jjones, Fiction | 4 Comments

Armed America…

This is a place­hold­er post, kind of, while we trek kids all over MA and while I try to recov­er from what­ev­er made me sleep for 19 hours yes­ter­day. Feel­ing like crap, in oth­er words.

My fam­i­ly owned a lot of guns, but not as many as some oth­er peo­ple I knew, maybe ten or so, which over a life­time isn't many. We hunt­ed, every sea­son, my father and broth­er and I–at least until I was six­teen or so–with most of our atten­tion paid to deer sea­son. Veni­son is good, you know? If you can it, most flat­landers can't tell it from beef.

Any­way, to my point: maybe this book will scare you, maybe it will make you feel bet­ter, but it seems pret­ty real­is­tic to me, as com­pared to what the two oppos­ing poles of Amer­i­can pol­i­tics might tell you.

Vis­it Armed Amer­i­ca for more pix and stories/explanations.

Posted in armed america, guns | 3 Comments

A Visit to the Titty Bar

The first girl that came out was a lava lamp. As if her arms moved through water. Her warm motion prac­ticed and secure. Shad­ows gath­ered under her breasts. Cop­per light ovaled across her bel­ly, licked down her thigh. Her eyes nev­er focused. Not once. I thought she'd look at some­one, per­haps the lawyer with the court­room voice and glint­ing watch. Maybe the bounc­er with the rough knuck­les and thatch­work stub­ble. But no. She was aloof. Unat­tain­able. Full of the dis­tance ten­dered by pow­er. The pale head of a scar wrig­gled out the top of her red g‑string and plunged back under with her motions. A quick, scabrous expo­sure. I sat there and watched the scar, hop­ing it'd reap­pear. Those glimpses of the real are precious.

This was years ago. Back when I worked at a tech­nol­o­gy shop in Dal­las, when I com­mut­ed three hours a day and read books about UNIX and drove back home weari­ly, delight­ed in the dust of the road that weaved to our house. Lunch at the strip joint was T's idea. He'd appeared in my office door around 10am, shirt­sleeves rolled up, his hairy fore­arms thick and pur­pled with veins.

—Tit­ty bar for lunch?

I hes­i­tat­ed. I always did.

—Don't be a pussy. It's only 8 bucks. All you can eat buf­fet. Tons of tit­ty to look at. You'll want to go home and bang your wife after. T held up his fin­gers in a V and slith­ered his tongue through the ges­ture. —No bet­ter way to spend lunch. Let's go. We're all going.

All was a group of geeks that I worked with. The UNIX team. Ter­mi­nal users. Com­mand-line kung-fu. Thick, stub­by fin­gers on most of them, made for pound­ing key­boards and fondling plas­tic pens with chewed tips. Bel­lies that had nev­er known flat. Mouths ripe with tech­ni­cal acronym. Our faces glowed in the oper­ose jihad of com­put­er mon­i­tor radi­a­tion. We were all bet­ter than our cubi­cles, smarter and big­ger than our jobs. Right? None of us resem­bled our walls. None of us were aver­age grey men. This was always the fear in the hive, the mum­bled rumor of the farm. We'd look around at the white­boards, at our droop­ing plants, at the office dust glint­ing in the hair on our arms and think that sure­ly there must be a mis­take. Sure­ly we have just been overlooked.

The bar was shad­owed and loud. Some men were stiff in their seats. Sweat­ing glass­es squeaked under their fin­gers. Oth­ers so relaxed they might have been on a couch in their house, their hands mov­ing con­ver­sa­tion­al­ly in the air, their faces open in a very human, mas­cu­line way. Some had a dark, des­per­ate look and huffed their hot breath into the clink­ing ice of their emp­ty glass. A few women as well, with thin arms draped over broad shoul­ders in suits. Naked knees at eye lev­el. Clench­ing ten­dons, an etch­ing of mus­cle along a calf. Goose­flesh around a nip­ple. Bel­lies wet with light. Music that thumped in the gut. A scar of some sort in everyone.

The UNIX team was qui­et. Stu­dious in their eat­ing for the most part. Chick­en ripped from bone with bared teeth. Gelati­nous sauce quiv­er­ing on the tines of forks. The reflec­tion of a breast swelled in the cold hol­low of my spoon. T wan­ton­ly gazed at the women, punched those of us in the shoul­der sit­ting next to him. —Imag­ine pin­ning those legs back behind her ears, he said. —God, I'm going to fuck my wife so hard tonight. With his eyes, he ges­tured down at a bulge in his pants as a dancer moved past. She nev­er focused. —I think it scared her, he said to every­one on the way back.

The boss was wait­ing for us when we returned to the office, tap­ping his pen on the desk. —The Kansas City upgrade needs to be reap­plied. It was messed up last night. His eyes focused on T. —They're run­ning on half-capac­i­ty with no back­up. You've got to watch this shit. No more screw-ups!

We retired to our chairs and grey walls, the thrum of the machines around us. A cool hiss of recy­cled air. The light in the office was unre­lent­ing, harsh in its expo­sure. T worked his fin­gers into his dry scalp, scratch­ing. He shrugged his shoul­ders at the rest of us. —Wasn't that last bitch hot? We should go again. Some­time real soon.

I thought he was going to put up the V sign again, but his hands slid into his pock­ets and he slid into his cube out of our sight. Mon­i­tors flick­ered on. Gray walls rose around every­one. Our thoughts ren­dered into stran­gling wires. We approached our lives and work with the same lack of focus that the strip­per offered us. Our fin­gers thick­ened and blunt­ed to our tasks the way her body curved into hers. We manip­u­lat­ed that which doesn't exist. At least the strip­per worked in the realm of the phys­i­cal, in the cur­rents of deep need and that which is inescapable. Our toil was con­tained in a screen. A plas­tic, hum­ming square, only able to endure as long as the black cord wasn't yanked from the wall.


Brad Green's fic­tion has appeared or soon will in The Blue Earth Review, Sto­ry­glos­sia, eli­mae, Word Riot, Thieves Jar­gon and sev­er­al oth­er jour­nals. He's cur­rent­ly at work on a nov­el. Read his blog at http://​ele​vateth​e​o​r​di​nary​.blogspot​.com.

Posted in brad green, titty bar | Leave a comment



[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5axlwCBXC8&hl=en&fs=1&]

My friend Ray remind­ed me of this song on Face­book. I don't real­ly have much to say about it–love John Prine–except that the movie he ref­er­ences, Dad­dy and Them, might have been real­ly good, but it's sad­ly not. It's worth watch­ing, though. Lau­ra Dern is pret­ty good in it, and Bil­ly Bob does his usu­al thing, which, if you like it like I do, is all good.

If you know the film, is there any­thing out there that com­pares in sub­ject mat­ter that's, um, good?

Posted in daddy and them, in spite of ourselves, iris dement, john prine | Leave a comment

Sunday Afternoon at Earl's, fiction by Randy Lowens

The driver's win­dow is down. Pave­ment hums beneath his tires, air beats against the rear wind­shield, and the engine howls as he climbs. A heifer moans from a shad­owed pas­ture on the roadside. 

Logan gears down as he rounds a curve and, with­out ben­e­fit of blink­er or brakes, spins into the dri­ve­way. He races uphill, fish­tail­ing, dodg­ing the larg­er rocks and pot­holes. At the crest he slides to a stop and waits while a cloud of dust drifts past. His breath comes hard as though he had climbed the hill on foot. The rear view mir­ror shows stub­ble on his chin, eyes shot with streaks of red, and snarls of dark yel­low hair that stick out like the roots of upturned trees in a bull­dozed field. "You good-look­ing dev­il," he whis­pers. "Don't you ever die."

He gets out but doesn't go straight to the trail­er. He cross­es the front yard and stops at the edge of a gar­den plot. Ripe toma­toes stand bold against their foliage like Christ­mas orna­ments on an out­door tree. Cucum­ber vines snake through the gar­den before escap­ing into the lawn. Brown, brit­tle leaves cling to them. Two more weeks, he fig­ures, and that'll be all she wrote. 

Some­thing about the trail­er catch­es his eye. He isn't sure what, but some­thing is dif­fer­ent. Some­one was on the prop­er­ty while he was work­ing. He feels it, knows it, more than sees it or thinks it. A bur­glar? Not like­ly. Too many rich folks live on top the ridge for some meth head to kick out his win­dow for a shotgun. 

He doesn't keep a hand­gun in the van any­more. Home­land Security's made it so an old boy can't even tote. But he's not scared. Why should he be? Some­body going to kill him? He should be so lucky. He walks direct­ly to the front of the rust­ing mobile home where a Plex­i­glas storm door hangs askew on a sin­gle hinge. He cir­cles the trail­er, exam­in­ing win­dows. No evi­dence of forced entry. Hinges creak as he eas­es open the hol­low wood­en door. 

Inside, cock­roach­es scat­ter into crevices. Some cof­fee grounds wal­low in the bot­tom of a cup beside a wrin­kled news­pa­per. Atop a plas­tic table­cloth, two Ger­man Pur­ple toma­toes, deep red and irreg­u­lar­ly shaped, frame a sheet of note­book paper. 

He goes to the liv­ing room, no longer step­ping light­ly, and snatch­es a pair of read­ing glass­es from the frayed arm of a sofa. He mounts them on the bridge of his nose and returns to the kitchen. Dale Earn­hardt, in dark glass­es and a Good­wrench cap, watch­es from the wall as he reads the note. 

Dar­ling, it says, I hope you're not too mad. I missed you so much, I had to come home. I'm glad I did because it don't look like you're eat­ing so good. I'm gone to the gro­cery store. Take a show­er and I'll kiss you all over when I get back. All my love, Sonja.

"Bout time you drug your ass home, woman," he says aloud. His voice booms. It sounds unnat­ur­al in the emp­ty trailer. 

He lays a blue oblong tablet on the table­cloth, cov­ers it with the cel­lo­phane from his cig­a­rette pack and starts crush­ing it with the heel of his Bic. As he sticks a trun­cat­ed straw up his nose and bends over the line of pow­der, he notices an apron hang­ing on the door­knob of the broom clos­et. That makes him smile.

###


Logan push­es a plat­ter scat­tered with morsels of fried pota­to, bis­cuit, and omelet away from his bel­ly. He leans back in his chair and stretch­es. "I be damned if I ain't gained ten pounds since you been back," he says. "Your cook­ing gets bet­ter all the time. Like every­thing else." 

Son­ja looks down and smiles. "I got­ta watch out. I might be tak­ing on a few pounds myself."

His tone changes abrupt­ly. "You come drag­ging home knocked up, and I'll show you the door sure enough."

"I ain't preg­nant; I'm sure of that.” After a pause, she adds, “I'd like to be, though. With yore baby."

"For cry­ing out loud." His voice turns gen­tle again, like spring water bub­bling out a rock face. "Renée's going on a teenag­er, and you're talk­ing about anoth­er kid. That ain't prac­ti­cal and you know it. Besides, three is more'n I can afford, already.”

"I know. I know all that. But still, I'd give my right arm for anoth­er kid. One of yores." She starts to cry. 

He reach­es across the table and strokes her arm. Wrin­kles like back streets on a road map radi­ate from the cor­ners of his eyes as he looks into hers. "Aw, Sug­ar, you know I love you. And Renée is like my own. They ain't no dif­fer­ence in my mind."

"I know," she says, sob­bing. "I know. But still." 

Min­utes lat­er he walks out and climbs into a ser­vice van that says BADCOCK'S REFRIGERATION SALES AND SERVICE in block let­ters on the side. Son­ja leans against the door­jamb, wip­ing her nose with a tis­sue and brush­ing away tears with the back of her hand. She hugs her­self and blows him kiss­es as he turns the vehi­cle around. 

He toss­es her a sin­gle kiss in return as he eas­es out of sight down the rocky, red dirt dri­ve. When he reach­es the road, he stomps the accel­er­a­tor and cuts the wheel. Bald­ing tires spin on rocks, then catch on pave­ment. They smoke, leav­ing twin streaks that curve across the street. "I got the best olé lady on all of Par­sons Ridge," he yells out the win­dow at some cat­tle graz­ing the hill­side. "Good cook,” he con­tin­ues in a con­ver­sa­tion­al tone. “Hell-on-wheels in bed. And she loves me, in spite of all com­mon sense and decency." 

He pumps the brake ped­al, strik­ing a bal­ance between check­ing the van's speed of descent and sav­ing its brakes. Despite his efforts, when he hits bot­tom the acrid smell of scorched pads fill the cab. 

The road lev­els onto the val­ley floor and his grip on the wheel relax­es. He reach­es for the radio, but the knob comes off in his hand. He fid­dles with it briefly, try­ing to fit the tuner back onto the met­al core, then drops it into an open ash­tray. "Glue it back on after while," he grum­bles. A tall, slim girl in tight jeans is unlock­ing her car door by the road­side. He looks up and turns the steer­ing wheel to avoid her. She press­es her waist close against the sedan as he pass­es. "Dang," he mur­murs, "Don't run over that." 

Idling down the state high­way towards town, Pen­ny Sue's Café pass­es on the right hand side. The restau­rant is new­ly board­ed up, and Logan sighs. Pen­ny Sue was the last hold­out among the small busi­ness own­ers when chain stores began to appear like bait worms after a sum­mer rain, dot­ting the slopes beside the inter­state exit. Abn­er Croft of Croft's Auto Parts, Buster Riley of Riley's Home­town Phar­ma­cy, and now Pen­ny Sue com­mute forty or fifty miles every day to jobs in Chat­tanooga or Knoxville. “Bad enough when the mill closed, and now this shit,” he says to himself. 

A Godfather's Piz­za, Wal­greens, Auto-Zone and Favorite Mar­ket stand glossy and metal­lic against the farm­house Pen­ny Sue had turned into a restau­rant. Next to the aban­doned A&W dri­ve-in, one side of a bill­board adver­tis­es cure for drug addic­tion while the oth­er admon­ish­es the read­er to REPENT because JESUS IS COMING. An old man sells toma­toes and cucum­bers from the back of his truck; a woman, used clothes from her front yard. As he con­tin­ues down the high­way, the busi­ness­es and signs, old and new, hope­ful and threat­en­ing, shrink to a clus­ter of dots in his rear view mir­ror and final­ly merge. 

Logan turns off the high­way and prom­e­nades the for­mer busi­ness dis­trict. Down­town is more of the same, smil­ing man­nequins des­per­ate­ly pos­ing naked in desert­ed depart­ment stores, board­ed shoe-store dis­play win­dows framed in brick, row upon row of vacant build­ings inter­rupt­ed only by the occa­sion­al pool hall or store­front church. Logan sticks his arm out and pre­tends to be a 1950's teenag­er cruis­ing the main drag in a mus­cle car, look­ing for action. Gig­gling, he pulls it back in and rolls up
the win­dow. "Folks done think you crazy, Logan. Don't make it no worse." 

He looks at his watch. Five min­utes after eight. “Well,” he says, mak­ing a wide U turn across an inter­sec­tion, “I guess I ought to quit rid­ing around and go to work. See what the sonuvabitch wants out of me today.”

###


Earl Bartlett wears a long-sleeve plaid shirt over a white ribbed under­shirt every day of the year. In sum­mer­time he rolls up the sleeves and unbut­tons the front. Dur­ing the win­ter he pulls a jack­et over it. Sev­er­al of his plaid shirts are red and a cou­ple are blue, so a body might think he rotates the same two shirts for days on end. But that's not true. The fact is sim­ply that, years ago, he chose a cer­tain look, and he's nev­er had call to change it. He would no more wear a polo shirt and khakis than he would decline to stand and cheer when the band played Dix­ie at a high school foot­ball game.

Today the front of his shirt is but­toned, but the sleeves are rolled up. The dog days are behind, and the air is comfortable. 

Earl stands beside a met­al-frame din­ner table. A Lucky Strike smol­ders in the ash­tray beside a stovepipe can of PBR. Smoke hov­ers around his hair­line. Behind him cas­es of Bud and Bud Light are stacked clear to the ceiling. 

An old­er fel­low sits at the table. The two men have the same tai­lor, all plaid shirts and den­im pants, but the slicked-back hair of the sit­ting man is red. He's a big guy with inch-long tufts the col­or of dish­wa­ter grow­ing beneath giant knuckles. 

The sound of a mow­er pass­es the kitchen win­dow. The man tilts his head in that direc­tion and asks, “How's olé Bil­ly Wayne work­ing out, Earl? Don't cut him no slack, just cause he's my nephew.”

He's all right. Works hard, don't com­plain.” Not the sharpest pen­cil in the pack­age, Earl silent­ly adds, but he don't have to be.

I'm glad to hear it. Family's fam­i­ly, but a job's a job. If he don't work out, show him the door, same as any­body.” He wets his lips from a tall glass; it's straight bour­bon, but he doesn't wince. “You know Logan Pad­gett, got his leg shot up in Iraq?”

Twelve pack ever Sun­day. Yeah, I know him.”

The red­head grunts. “Yeah, that's him. No rela­tion to me, but he's blood kin to Bil­ly Wayne. On his mother's side.” He fig­ures you don't real­ly know a man till you can name his family.

The rack­et of the mow­er stops. Bil­ly Wayne sticks his head in the door. He's shirt­less, and beads of sweat glis­ten on his mus­cled, hair­less chest. “Hey Earl,” he calls, “I got the back yard done. You want me to do the front?”

Earl stares as he answers. “Yeeess, I gen­er­al­ly do mow them in sets.”

Bil­ly Wayne looks puz­zled. His uncle cov­ers the bot­tom of his face with a large, hairy hand. Earl grins and helps the boy out. “Go mow the front,” he con­firms, pointing.

The kid bounds hap­pi­ly down the steps while the men watch and laugh.

###


Sun­rise finds Logan sip­ping cof­fee at the kitchen table. He's read­ing the fun­ny papers in a stained tee shirt and a pair of jeans with a hole in the knee. 

A teenage girl with corn­rows in her hair comes out of a bed­room. She plops on the couch, rub­bing her eyes, feel­ing between the cush­ions for the TV con­trols. She's still in night­clothes, a green tank top and a pair of canary yel­low panties. Ebony legs gleam in the morn­ing light. Logan watch­es her for a moment. He turns the page of his news­pa­per and con­tin­ues reading. 

Son­ja steps out of the oth­er bed­room. "Damn it, Renée,” she says, walk­ing past, “how many times I tole you not to sit around half naked in front of Logan? Go get some clothes on."

The girl rolls her eyes and con­tin­ues punch­ing but­tons on the remote. The moth­er takes anoth­er step, turns and bel­lows, "Go!" The face Logan usu­al­ly finds so attrac­tive is a scowl­ing mask. 

The child stands and stretch­es. When her arms come down, the tee shirt rests on the small of her back a good two inch­es above flo­res­cent under­wear. "Morn­ing, Dad­dy," she purrs, flash­ing a smile over her shoul­der that's all white teeth and thick lips. 

"Morn­ing, sweet­ie," Logan replies to her depart­ing back. 

Son­ja takes a seat across from Logan. She glow­ers, drum­ming her fin­gers on the table and shak­ing her head. "That child," she says. "That child.”

Logan chuck­les. He puts down the fun­nies and picks up the sports. "I think I'll go start on the yard work here in a bit," he says. 

###


From his seat at the lit­tle met­al-frame din­ner table, Earl can watch the entire front yard out his pic­ture win­dow. When a blue Hon­da Accord pulls into the dri­ve, he busts a big smile. 

He opens the door before she can knock. “Come in, young lady. Come right in. What can I do for you today?” 

Son­ja is wear­ing tight jeans and a sleeve­less sweater. She clutch­es a purse at her waist. Timid­ly, she steps inside and looks around. 

Bartlett's place nev­er changes. Every­thing is in its place, down to the Lucky Strike releas­ing curls of smoke from the ash­tray. Son­ja can't recall ever see­ing him pick the cig­a­rette up and take a puff. Does he real­ly smoke, or does he just light cig­a­rettes and burn them for incense? 

Logan sent me after a twelve pack, Earl,” she says. “We was sup­posed to have Sun­day beer, but he done run through it all.”

Hon­ey, a beer can chug­ging is like the jin­gle of pock­et change to my ears.” He treats her to a large smile. “So Logan's drunk today. Good for him. How you doing your­self, lit­tle girl? Don't seem well. You wor­ried about something?”

Aw, it's noth­ing. I'm all right.”

Come on, you can talk to olé Earl. I used to work with your Uncle Her­man. We like family.”

"Real­ly, it ain't noth­ing much. Renée–that's my lit­tle girl–she's hav­ing a birth­day, is all. Turn­ing four­teen, and her boyfriend is over. I just wish Logan wouldn't drink so much. Or at least wait till after.”

He ain't tak­ing drunk and hit­ting you, is he?”

Oh no, it ain't noth­ing like that. He just stays so high all the time, I feel… I dun­no. Kin­da lone­some. Like I'm by myself.”

Zat right. Huh.” Bartlett scratch­es his ear and looks out the win­dow. “Wasn't he in Iraq awhile? Took a bul­let in the leg, I think it was?”

“Yeah. He don't talk about it much. I tell him he should be proud, but he don't think so. Says he'd rather a been some­where else.”

Bartlett laughs. “I admire an hon­est man.”

Any­way, yeah, shrap­nel in his knee's what it was. The VA gives him pain pills. Between those pills and all the beer he drinks, and the pot he smokes, and… I'm sor­ry, maybe I shouldn't have said that.” Sonja's looks at the purse in her hand and blushes. 

Earl laughs again. “Hon­ey, this olé boot­leg­ger been around. I might even have tast­ed one of them joints, years ago. I tell you what: pull up a seat, and I'll fix a cou­ple of drinks. We could both use one.”

Oh no, I got­ta get back home. Logan wouldn't like it if I stayed gone. And there's Renée's party.”

You done said Logan's drunk. And Renée's a teenag­er, so I'm sure that lit­tle boyfriend can enter­tain her. Besides, Ray's com­ing over lat­er, and we gonna play some cards. We may need you to cook up a lit­tle something.”

Here, sit down,” he says, pulling a chair out from the table, “and olé Earl gonna get you a drink.” 

Well, maybe just a quick one,” she agrees, tak­ing the prof­fered seat. Earl half fills a high­ball glass from an open fifth of Cana­di­an Club, adds ice and Coke, and places it beside her. His cig­a­rette in the ash­tray is down to a nub, so he puts it out. He takes a fresh one from his shirt pock­et, thumps it once, twice, three times and lights it.

###


Logan parks his van behind Sonja's car. From the back of the trail­er, he hears a mow­er run­ning before the machine itself appears. A young man is rid­ing it. He's mus­cled up and tan, dressed in noth­ing but a pair of long den­im pants. The boy turns the mow­er in a sharp cir­cle with­out notic­ing Logan, intent upon his sim­ple task, and dis­ap­pears behind the trail­er once more.

Logan gets out. Ignor­ing the con­crete side­walk, he strides direct­ly across the lawn to the front door. He rais­es his hand to knock but thinks bet­ter of it. He reach­es for the door­knob but decides against that, too. He rares back and kicks the door open. The lock breaks out of the fac­ing. Splin­ters fly across the room. The door makes a sec­ond crash­ing sound when the han­dle punch­es a hole in the wall behind. It's a sat­is­fy­ing noise to Logan's ears. 

He stands in the door­way with his fin­ger point­ed at Sonja's face, enjoy­ing her dazed look, dis­gust­ed by the lip­stick on her whiskey glass and the sur­prise on the bootlegger's face, before he real­izes that Ollie Ray Crid­er is sight­ing down the bar­rel of a Smith and Wes­son thir­ty-eight spe­cial, aim­ing up at his head. Where did that sonuvabitch come from? He's some kin­da kin by mar­riage on Logan's Daddy's side, and fuck all that anyway.

Ollie Ray speaks first. “I'm only gonna say this once, son. Turn around right now, and walk back out that door. Close it behind you. Knock, like your mama taught you, and this time wait for an answer.”

Logan stares back at Ray. His upper lip quivers.

Walk!” the big man barks. Logan leans his head back and laughs. He makes a hack­ing noise in the back of his throat, and when his head comes down he spits on the table in front of Ray. Ray flinch­es but holds his fire. Silent tears trick­le like branch water down Sonja's cheeks, and her shoul­ders quake. Bartlett sits motion­less, palms flat on the table. 

"You come for some­thing that belongs to you. That's all well and good,” Ray con­tin­ues. “We just hav­ing a drink here. Ain't nobody try­ing to steal your woman. But you going about it all wrong, see. Now,” he con­tin­ues, cock­ing the pis­tol and stand­ing up from the table to assume a fir­ing posi­tion, “Walk. Back out. That fuck­ing door.”

Earl Bartlett hears the grand­fa­ther clock that's been in his fam­i­ly for gen­er­a­tions go click, click, click, for three of the longest sec­onds of his life before Logan turns on his heel and strolls out­side. The limp from his war wound is only faint­ly evi­dent as he descends the wood­en steps and cross­es the lawn to his van. 

Sonja's fore­head drops to the table. Ray exhales. He eas­es the ham­mer down on the weapon and places it gin­ger­ly on the table. The boot­leg­ger takes a deep breath. He turns to Ray and says, “I thought you tole that boy to close the door on his way out.”

"Shut up, Bartlett,” is his only reply.

Logan guns the engine of his van as he leaves, throw­ing a low wave of grav­el across the quar­ter pan­el of Sonja's car like the wake of a motor­boat lap­ping against the shore.

Bil­ly Wayne appears at the door of the trail­er. “Hey Earl,” he yells, though the man is only yards away. Bil­ly stands with his hand rest­ing on the door frame, obliv­i­ous to the dam­age done to it by his sec­ond cousin on his mother's side. “I got the back­yard done. Tell me where the gas can is, and I'll start the front.” He notices the hair stuck to Sonja's face. He spies the pis­tol on the table. He opens his mouth to ask, but Bartlett cuts him off. 

Hell, son, the gas can's in the shed. Where you think it is? Now get on back to work, while you still got a job.”

###


The roof of the Pig­gly Wig­gly is a sea of small stones stretch­ing from cor­ner to cor­ner across the top of the store. The debris of years floats atop its placid sur­face: two dis­col­ored plas­tic jugs over­looked dur­ing a cleanup; a mag­a­zine stolen from the store below, thumbed through and dis­card­ed; and the occa­sion­al rusty screw­driv­er or pair of pli­ers that some­one flung away in frus­tra­tion. The motor room is win­dow­less, a sheet-met­al anchor buoy float­ing lone­ly beneath a cloud­ed sky. 

All is still­ness and qui­et save the flap­ping cov­er of the fad­ed girlie book. A plas­tic bag­gy nes­tles in Logan's shirt pock­et. The crys­tals are gone. Only a chalky residue remains, devoid of finan­cial val­ue but worth a decade in the state pen. The sour chem­i­cal taste of metham­phet­a­mine lingers, rem­i­nis­cent of the paint thin­ner and gaso­line he huffed as a child. He stands awestruck, stunned, hold­ing a charred square of alu­minum foil in his left hand and a Zip­po in his right. 

Across a two foot chasm of silence, John­ny McCullough's eyes appear hol­low and wide. The skin on his face is like cracked leather from the sun, wind and rain of a thou­sand rooftops like this one. 

Logan's rever­ie is shat­tered by the phone at his side flash­ing and play­ing a tin­ny ver­sion of Reveille. The sound is car­ni­va­lesque, in a way obscene giv­en the gray sky and grim cir­cum­stance. The caller can only be the boss man.

I, ah, don't think I wish to talk to him, right now at the moment,” Logan says. He tries to force a smile, but just suc­ceeds at look­ing vague­ly ill. 

Blue veins pulse in Johnny's fore­head. He drags a parched tongue across blis­tered lips. “S'all right,” he says in a voice that sounds like a croak. “I'm sure he'll be glad to call us back later.”

###


Sun­day after­noon is Earl's busiest time of the week. Mon­day morn­ing is the slow­est, so that's when the liquor van runs. He's sit­ting at the kitchen table, wait­ing for it to arrive. Today is Bil­ly Wayne's first run by himself.

Earl looks up at the sound of scratch­ing grav­el. Yeah, it's the van. It doesn't appear wrecked, that's good. But it seems like Bil­ly Wayne is tak­ing a long time to climb out. When the boy does exit, he wob­bles and stead­ies him­self against the side of the vehicle. 

I be god­damn,” Earl mut­ters. “Out dri­ving my van and it loaded, and he done gone and got drunk. I'm gonna string him up and put him in a shal­low grave.” The old boot­leg­ger con­tin­ues mum­bling to him­self as he starts down the front steps. He walks real care­ful like, hold­ing onto the rail­ing and eas­ing him­self down. He's not as young as he used to be, and he's had a drink or two his own self.

###


Logan is para­noid as all hell. He's sit­ting on the toi­let with his pants around his ankles. He's not even think­ing about shit­ting. He's just hid­ing out. He's hid­ing from the store man­ag­er. He's hid­ing from the boss man who, more and more, is prone to show up unin­vit­ed. Hell, he's hid­ing from Ollie Ray.

Of course, there's no rea­son for Ollie Ray to stalk the stalls of the bath­room at the Pig­gly Wig­gly, look­ing for the man who kicked in the door of his favorite boot­leg­ger. No rea­son at all. Logan knows he's para­noid, oh yeah. His mind under­stands. His intel­lect tells him to be ratio­nal, to calm down, but his ner­vous sys­tem won't lis­ten. Every time the door to the restroom swings open, his gut clench­es, his nuts shrivel,
and sweat breaks out across his brow. 

God­damn that John­ny McCul­lough. He knows Logan's a down­er man. Why'd he go and offer that shit? 

Only one hydrocodone remains in the bot­tle. Logan was going to save it for tomor­row, but now he can't. No way, man. Soon as his hands stop shak­ing he'll pull his pants up, go the van and crush the pill. He'll chase it with a tall Miller; maybe that'll soothe his nerves. Maybe the boss man won't stop by. Maybe the store man­ag­er won't smell the booze.

Maybe Son­ja won't be too pissed off about the scene at the boot­leg­gers. She's not answer­ing the phone, but when he sees her face to face, he can smooth things over. He needs her com­fort. He needs her bad, more than ever before. More than he ever need­ed any­thing in his life, he needs that girl. She's just going to have to under­stand that after all they been through, a man is going to be kind of sen­si­tive some­times. A lit­tle bit jealous. 

God­damn that John­ny McCullough.

###


Son­ja stands on her tip­toes to force anoth­er shirt into the suit­case. She pulls the zip­per closed, drags it off the bed and totes it into the next room where she places it beside two sim­i­lar bags. That's every­thing but the toi­letries. Three suit­cas­es, a bag of brush­es and hair­spray, and a Hon­da Accord: not much to show for thir­ty years. Oh well, she's sur­viv­ing. Some folks can't say that much.

She's try­ing not to think about Logan. That's why she's not leav­ing a note: when she attempts to explain her­self, inevitably she finds her way back to the good things, and they decide to try it one more time. But the one-more-times are all used up. 

When she returns from the bath­room with the toi­letries bag, her chest clench­es like a fist at the sight of Logan stand­ing in the door­way. How did he get off work so ear­ly? And when did he learn to step so qui­et, anyway?

After sev­er­al sec­onds her breath returns. She want­ed to make things easy for both of them, but okay, here we go. She squares her shoul­ders and forces her­self to look at his face. 

So, what you doing, Son­ja?” he asks her, his voice all causal as he steps out of the door­way and takes a seat at the din­ner table. Something's wrong. Something's bad wrong. She's used to see­ing him messed up, with slant­ed, blood­shot eyes, but not like this. Today his eyes have bare­ly any whites left, the pupils are so large. And he hasn't called her Son­ja in years; the name sounds strange com­ing from him. Sug­ar Lips, Hon­ey Pie. Bitch, whore. But nev­er just Sonja.

I'm, ah, I'm get­ting a few things togeth­er. So you can have your house back.” The mus­cles in her throat quiver as she speaks, but she man­ages a note of defi­ance as she adds, “Like you want, apparently.” 

You ain't got to leave on my account.” He's look­ing past her knees as he speaks, study­ing the way a piece of torn linoleum curls up on the edges like it's just the odd­est thing. Last time she saw him, he was kick­ing in doors and spit­ting on tables, and now he looks looks like he's seen a ghost. What's he strung out on this time?

I got to leave on my own account, Logan. On Renée's account. We've been through it and through it, and it don't get no bet­ter. Now please don't start nothing.”

He rais­es an eye­brow like she said some­thing sur­pris­ing. “I ain't start­ing noth­ing.” He stands up, and she takes a quick step back­ward. He sits back down. “I got the cot­ton mouth, is all. Would you fetch me a beer?”

She hands a sweat­ing can across the table. 

I ought to quit this shit,” he says as he opens the tab. “I know I should. I been think­ing about that a lot, lately. 

You're as like­ly to quit drink­ing as I am to dri­ve at Tal­lade­ga,” she spits out the side of her mouth. She snatch­es a bag from the floor and stalks out the door.

I guess you're right about that,” he says to a kitchen left emp­ty by her depar­ture. He looks down at the can in his hand, shrugs, and takes a long drink. “Yeah, I guess you're right. But seems like there should be some­thing we could do,” he con­tin­ues as she walks back in and stands over the remain­ing lug­gage. “It just don't seem right, two peo­ple in love, but who can't live together.”

Well, it may not be right, but that's how it is.” She grabs up the last two suit­cas­es, then puts them back down. Her face turns red. If she can stay mad, she knows she can get through this and leave. “You come around show­ing your ass over me hav­ing a drink with Earl Bartlett. Earl Bartlett, for god's sake! Old enough to be my Dad­dy, and used to work with my Uncle Her­man. And you go show­ing your butt…” She grabs the bags up and goes out the door, shak­ing her head and muttering.

She toss­es them in the trunk and gets in the driver's seat. She takes a deep breath and releas­es it, slow­ly, as she checks her make­up in the rear view mir­ror. “I just hope you don't think this is what I want,” she whis­pers to the steer­ing wheel. She tries to say some­thing else, but the sound just comes out a sob. Stay mad, girl. Don't try to explain, just stay mad. She puts the key in the igni­tion and cranks the car.

A minute pass­es before Logan under­stands that all her gear is loaded. She's not com­ing back inside. When he hears her car start, he walks to the door and leans against the frame. If he was the cry­ing type, this would be the per­fect occa­sion. But he ain't, so he watch­es, dry eyed, as she puts the car in gear. He man­ages a weak smile and blows her a kiss, the way she used to when she saw him off to work. But she dis­ap­pears behind a stand of mimosa that lines the dri­ve with­out look­ing back.

He lis­tens to her leave. He can tell the dif­fer­ence between the scratch of grav­el and the sound her car makes accel­er­at­ing onto the pave­ment. Then comes the silence. The damn silence always comes next. 

A squir­rel scam­pers down a branch and jumps onto a pile of fire wood left from the pre­vi­ous win­ter. He takes a nut in his mouth and turns to stare at Logan. 

What are you look­ing at?” 

The ani­mal doesn't respond. It remains still, watching.

Damn. He sits on the con­crete blocks that form the steps to the trail­er. Some things are sure hard to fig­ure. A man spends his whole life fac­ing down dan­ger, prov­ing him­self, and after it all, the only thing it takes to knock the wind clean out of him is some skin­ny girl with a pony­tail. Logan jumps to his feet and kicks grav­el in the direc­tion of the wood pile, and the squir­rel darts out of sight. 

Randy Lowens lives in a cab­in on a wood­ed hill­side in east­ern Ken­tucky. His writ­ing has appeared in Dog­mati­ka, Blue Col­lar Review, and else­where. "The Flot­sam and Jet­sam of War" received the Tacen­da award for Best Short Sto­ry of 2007, illu­mi­nat­ing social injus­tice. "Sun­day After­noon at Earl's" is excerpt­ed from a nov­el in progress.

Posted in Fiction, randy lowens | 1 Comment

A Review of Methland: The Death and Life of an American Small Town

I gakked this from Hal­vard John­son on Face­book. Not the meth, the review, dummy.

Let's hope it's theft he doesn't mind. It is the NY Times after all.

Pub­lished: July 1, 2009 

Think glob­al­ly, suf­fer local­ly. This could be the moral of “Meth­land,” Nick Reding’s unnerv­ing inves­tiga­tive account of two grue­some years in the life of Oel­wein, Iowa, a rail­road and meat­pack­ing town of sev­er­al thou­sand whipped by a metham­phet­a­mine-laced pan­ic whose ori­gins lie out­side the place itself, in forces almost too great to com­pre­hend and too piti­less to bear. The rav­ages of meth, or “crank,” on Oel­wein and count­less for­sak­en locales much like it are shown to be mere­ly super­fi­cial symp­toms of a vaster social demen­tia caused by, among oth­er things, the iron domin­ion of cor­po­rate agri­cul­ture and the slow melt­ing of vil­lages and fam­i­lies into the world­wide finan­cial stew.

More from the Times

This is hap­pen­ing as well in the Twin Tiers, the area where I grew up, par­tic­u­lar­ly in Brad­ford Coun­ty PA, whose coun­ty seat, Newsweek claimed a few years ago, is yet anoth­er Meth Val­ley.

They're EVERYWHERE, folks! Gitch­er own.

Posted in bradford county, halvard johnson, meth valleys, oelwein iowa, twin tiers, walter kirn | 2 Comments

Bent Country, by Sheldon Lee Compton

I stead­ied myself on the embank­ment. Below, down the hooknose incline of brush and grav­el, ran the tracks, glint­ing like a school of sil­ver fish run­ning in the moon­light to chase the C & O. I stood care­ful­ly, leaned my head back so it was only me and moth­er-fish moon in a blan­ket of black, and pissed loudly.

Pete and Bryan wait­ed in the car while I fin­ished, Pete slouched behind the wheel of his Grena­da and Bryan in the pas­sen­ger seat. Bryan tapped the win­dow as I zipped and tugged to read­just. I turned and flashed him the fin­ger. The Pover­ty House would be there. It wasn’t going to close down while I took a piss.

“Jesus, Van,” Bryan said as soon as I was in the back seat. “We still have to pick up Deb. You’re already piss drunk. Seriously."

“Man’s got­ta piss, Hoss. Man’s got­ta piss,” Pete said. He didn’t wait for any response but punched the gas ped­al peel­ing trench­es into the grav­el that left behind a dust burst ris­ing off into the sky to join my moth­er moon.

I looked out the back wind­shield, tried to watch the sky for as long as pos­si­ble. My piss splash would be shin­ing gold on the brush the rest of the night while we stomped and drank at the House. I found myself wish­ing I could take it with me and real­ized I was very drunk. Aware of this, I slid side­ways in the back­seat and fell into an impos­si­ble sleep while Pete straight­ened out curves like a child fin­ger-paint­ing his own escape plan.

A half-mile from Deb’s house, Pete cut the engine and rolled through the last few curves with the head­lights off. He pulled the Grena­da to the side of the road and wait­ed. Bryan leaned rough­ly against his door and got out. He crept to the back and eased the latch on the back door and sat down beside me.

“Hi, Bryan,” I said.

Bryan smiled. “Drunk ass.”

We watched the house in silence. Awake again, I fum­bled in the floor­board for anoth­er beer. Bryan motioned to the bag and I pulled anoth­er out and hand­ed it to him. We drank our beers slow­ly and watched Pete watch for Deb.

“There she is,” Pete whispered.

We leaned to the win­dow and saw Deb mov­ing across the yard, a lean fig­ure mov­ing like a swan through the swells of a lake. Blonde braids bounced across her shoul­ders and when she smiled I saw Pete lean toward her and their smiles lit the world. I fin­ished off my beer just as she got to the car and set­tled in beside Pete. She spoke soft­ly to Pete for a time and then turned to us, her braids swip­ing at the air, her even­ly tanned arms draped across the back of the seat.

“Hey, losers. I was just telling Peter here that we’re gonna have to burn out of here like bats out of hell. No cruis­ing in silent like you came in,” Deb said. She reached between my knees and came up with a beer. “That’s gonna be nice, huh? Dad’ll just cuss in his bed and pray for damna­tion and vengeance for the wild hea­thens, right? Right.”

“Here we go!” Pete yelled, start­ing the Grena­da and pulling into gear.

“Long live the hea­thens!” Deb yelled back to Pete.

More trench­es more dust bursts float­ing away to the moon. We were leav­ing behind us wild souls ascend­ing to the unknown, marks of where we had been like my gold­en splash alone in the brush, a part of me for this place to remember.

The final deci­sion was made the day before. Me and Bryan and Pete were leav­ing the next morn­ing or after­noon for Peru, Indi­ana. There were jobs there in fac­to­ries. Jobs in build­ings, not under­neath moun­tains in two-foot high coal with angry machin­ery and men who looked swal­lowed up and drained of their blood, walk­ing, work­ing fad­ed car­bon copies of men thrown togeth­er with burned leather and dis­card­ed bones, hol­low-eyed and for­ev­er silent while they ate their sandwiches.

Our fathers all worked or did work the mines. Pete’s dad was killed pick­ing rock from the belt line. Caught his leg and pulled him off into the coal. He was the out­side man and the rest of the night­shift crew was inside. It took three hours before any­body noticed Pete’s dad was miss­ing. By then, he was cov­ered up under tons of coal, crushed. They dug him out after the fore­man con­vinced the rest of the work­ers that he hadn’t skipped out and left shift. It was a closed cas­ket. Pete was two years old.

Every day before our shift two words were always loop­ing inside my head as per­sis­tent and undaunt­ed as a bird’s song. Pete’s dad. Pete’s dad. Pete’s dad.

I won­dered if Pete and Bryan had the same song in their head. Every shift, look­ing into their eyes, it seemed they might. We made our deci­sion after three months at the Jeri­cho Num­ber 5 Mine, and The Pover­ty House was our last night before Peru. He hadn’t said any­thing, but we all knew Pete was going to ask Deb to come along. She just fin­ished her junior year of high school and there was the chance she would stay, a real­ly good chance. Pete didn’t see it that way. Pete always saw things his way, then made it happen.

Now, speed­ing to Haysi, Vir­ginia to our bar under my moon there was anoth­er song in my drink-rat­tled head, a bird song beau­ti­ful in the morn­ing light, a canary to replace the death call of the crow.

What is the answer? Peru is the answer. What is the answer? Peru is the answer.

Dress was casu­al at The Pover­ty House. If some poor shit showed up in blue jeans, the bounc­er or from time to time the own­er, a guy called Blue Eyes, turned the guy out. Slacks and dress shirts. Church clothes. It was help­ful to know this dri­ving from Cal­vary to Haysi. I pushed the wrin­kles from my slacks at the front door and nod­ded to the bounc­er, a thin man named Herman.

“Hel­lo, folks,” Her­man said, cross­ing his arms and tak­ing a step toward us.

Pete pulled out his wal­let and paid the cov­er charge for every­one. A min­er from Burned Rock had once tried to push through Her­man a few years back and dodge the cov­er, but Her­man popped his eye with a boney elbow. They said the eye oozed black and slug­gish out of the sock­et after Her­man hit him. Her­man also had nails dri­ven up through the soles of his boots so out of the back of the heels there was this sharp tip of the nail that stuck out about half an inch, just enough to sweep kick somebody’s gut open. To look at him, Her­man wasn’t much, which is why I guess he was test­ed like that from time to time. But mil­i­tary expe­ri­ence, and hor­ri­ble expe­ri­ences those, were Herman’s weapons. We all avoid­ed eye con­tact as we passed through the door.

The House was dim with only a few patrons seat­ed at the bar, reg­u­lars. We paid the sec­ond charge at the front desk for a run­ning tab at the bar and then passed the two or three old­er men on stools, cran­ing their necks to watch us pass. All of them had hair slicked back with oil and wore check­ered but­ton-up work shirts with the sleeves rolled past the elbows. One of them, a high-cheeked amber-col­ored man who had to have come from a strong Chero­kee line, offered a slimy grin to Deb and Pete laughed at him as we went sin­gle file to a table with two white can­dles burn­ing in the center.

The orders, except for Deb’s, were simple.
Beer, beer, beer. Deb asked the wait­ress for a boil­er­mak­er with a sec­ond beer chas­er and a full bot­tle of Tvarscki.

“Bring us a shot glass, cutie,” Deb called after the wait­ress, a dish rag of a girl, beat­en down by night after night of half-breed Chero­kees telling bad jokes and ask­ing for rides home. A space of utter dark­ness poured from her eyes, vacant and fun­da­men­tal, focused on squeez­ing out the hours. She nod­ded and left for the bar.

While we wait­ed for the drinks, the band start­ed pluck­ing strings and run­ning scales, adjust­ing amp lev­els and posi­tion­ing a micro­phone as big as the head of a twen­ty-pound sledge­ham­mer and bright sil­ver in the dimness.

“Check one, check two… check one, check two.”

The front man for the band, which, accord­ing to the decal on the bass drum, was called The Shine, jerked across the stage, pulling the mic chord across his shoul­ders and around his waist, fly-fish­ing across the stage. He belt­ed out a sin­gle note, deep and grat­ing, the whiskey-soaked voice of an old man, thick and raspy. It sound­ed fine. 

“Guy’s got some pipes,” I said into my beer bottle.

“That’s for sure,” Deb added and propped her hands under her chin watch­ing the singer flop across the stage. “He’s high. He’s like Jim Mor­ri­son. Look at that.”

The singer turned on stage, tun­ing his instru­ment, the hard voice and lean body, the pres­ence, his front man tools. He stopped and across at us. We were the only vis­i­tors at a table. The rest of the bar was emp­ty except the Indi­an and the oth­er regulars.

“I’m going to the bar,” Pete said and quick­ly stood up.

Deb watched after him and then gave me and Bryan a cou­ple sec­onds worth of strange looks and went back to watch­ing the singer.

I could hear Pete at the bar order­ing Jack Daniels, a bot­tle. Then I heard the bar­tender, a lady in her for­ties with jet black hair and heavy pur­ple lip­stick, tell him the seat was reserved. I went to the bar and sat down beside Pete. In front of him was a nap­kin Scotch-taped to the bar. The nap­kin said the stool was reserved for some­one named Rose.

“Deb wants to fuck Jim Mor­ri­son over there,” Pete said. He waved his hand to the stage where the singer had stopped his rehearsal rit­u­al and was now sit­ting at the edge of the stage, his feet dan­gling off the edge. The band seemed to be wait­ing for the crowd or some cue for when to start their set.

“Check one, check one,” the singer bari­toned into the mic. He sound­ed bored, and Deb was right. He was def­i­nite­ly high.

I couldn’t argue. It seemed Deb was into the guy. So for a time we sat at the bar, hav­ing scoot­ed a cou­ple stools down for Rose who still hadn’t shown up. Grad­u­al­ly the bar picked up. Groups of five and six were fil­ing in, pay­ing their bar cov­er and mov­ing to the oth­er tables. The tables sat off from a hard­wood dance floor, and men out­num­bered women, just like our group. Most groups had just one girl in tow, and that girl was prob­a­bly with one of the oth­ers. Find­ing some hard love my last night in Ken­tucky was going to be a chal­lenge. I’d have to find the sis­ter, the girl who made her broth­er take her to Haysi for a night out. More like­ly there would be some fighting.

I looked back to our table and Bryan gave a quick hand motion for us to come back. Deb was out of her chair and mov­ing to the dance floor, the curves of her body shift­ing like the smooth sur­face of a cut dia­mond under her dress. The singer, who by this time I thought of as sim­ply Jim, had hopped down from the stage and was walk­ing slow­ly across the hard­wood. I poured myself a shot of Jack and turned to fill Pete’s glass when I saw a flick­er of hard white light at his belt line.

“I’m gonna gut Jim Mor­ri­son,” Pete said hold­ing the knife under the bar. “I’m gonna gut him like a fish.”

Bright dance floor light. Arms and legs swoop­ing in blurred arcs. The knife clat­ter­ing across the floor. Deb yelling then whoop­ing and laugh­ing insane­ly. Bryan hold­ing Jim Morrison’s arms and rock­ing back from the trans­ferred ener­gy of Pete’s body blows admin­is­tered to the singer’s ribs and gut. Me wig­gling a tooth now loose from a lick I took from some guy I nev­er saw before, maybe the half-breed, but I couldn’t be sure. And then Her­man and the odd, com­plete silence. 

One by one, cradling us like fresh caught fish by the back of our new trousers, Her­man sent us skid­ding across the dirt park­ing lot. The skin­ny bounc­er with the dead­ly boot heels held Pete’s knife up in the moon­light and then tossed it into a near­by thick­et of trees. Deb wait­ed in the Grena­da. Her braids were slung out the open win­dow, sleep­ing snakes against the Bon­do of the driver’s door, her head lopped side­ways, blacked out from cheap St. Louis vodka.

“You’ll be good enough to get to work tomor­row, Pete?” Her­man asked. His voice was even and calm

Pete right­ed him­self in the park­ing lot, stum­bled back into the packed dirt and then got to his feet. “What?”

“You get into work and then bring me your pay­day next week to hire a new house band or pay for Calvin’s doc­tor bills. That comes from Blue Eyes, you stu­pid civvy.”

Pete grinned at Bryan and then winked at me.

“I’ll do bet­ter than that, Her­man. You tell that to Blue Eyes. I’ll make good on all repairs and pay the band or hire anoth­er fag or what­ev­er. I’ll do that and then some. Mon­ey is no object.”

“Mon­ey is no object,” Her­man said. “Mon­ey is always an object. But you wan­na go deep­er to make good on this, then that’s fine by me. Should be fine with Blue Eyes. See you next week.”

Her­man resumed his spot in front of the door and through the dark­ness I could see the swelled places of his knuck­les, droplets of blood hang­ing there, skin peeled up and white, ready to start bleed­ing as soon the cir­cu­la­tion made its way back to his knot­ted hands. I wig­gled my tooth with the side of my tongue. The half-breed hadn’t got a good lick in, but Her­man had popped me in the mouth. It was the fin­ger­prints of my teeth hang­ing off Herman’s knuck­les. No won­der my head was spin­ning like a top. I turned my atten­tion to Pete as we made it back to the car. He pushed Deb across to the open pas­sen­ger win­dow to make room behind the steer­ing wheel and I kicked the back of his seat with my knee. Pete turned around and, see­ing my bust­ed lip, laughed and start­ed out of the park­ing lot.

“Mon­ey is no object?” I final­ly asked.

“Van, don’t you under­stand noth­ing. We’re not even gonna be here tomor­row. I coul­da told Her­man I was giv­ing him my house to make good and it’s all just talk.”

I sat qui­et for a time, Bryan leaned against my shoul­der. He held tight to his stom­ach and was laugh­ing under his breath. It came out of him like a weak breeze twist­ing through a torn down val­ley. Prob­a­bly a cracked rib. Cracked rib, bust­ed tooth, crazy Deb and Pete the Knife and not a good buzz between us. The Pover­ty House was a bust. Soon I allowed myself to lean gen­tly against Bryan and the two of us held the oth­er up for more impos­si­ble sleep.

When I heard the hiss­ing again, much louder
now, my first thought was that one of Bryan’s cracked ribs must have bust­ed through a lung and the life was escap­ing him like a bal­loon. I shook him awake. Deb was gaz­ing back at me, eyes of fire and her mouth a small pink cir­cle in the mid­dle of her face. Her eyes looked like tiny saucers streaked with toma­to sauce. Pete was hunched behind the steer­ing wheel, furi­ous in his silence. The hiss­ing grew loud­er and then the front of the Grena­da start­ed flop­ping like the fin of a hooked bluegill.

“Flat tire,” Deb said sleepily.

“Flat lung,” I said, shak­ing Bryan.

“Flat tire,” Pete said. “Flat tire, Hoss.”

No spare. Those two words were repeat­ed, yelled, screamed, and kicked around until they almost lost mean­ing. No spare. We were hours from home, break­ing the speed limit.

“Let’s hitch,” Deb said.

She was sit­ting on the guardrail smok­ing. She and Pete hadn’t spo­ken. The com­ment may have been direct­ed to me. I start­ed to answer when Pete whirled around the grill, jumped the guardrail and stood five inch­es from Deb’s face, arms stiff at his sides, fists clenched, soft curls of smoke from her cig­a­rette appear­ing to come from Pete’s ears, the top of his head.

“We can’t all flash a leg and get a ride,” Pete spat.

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Deb said and took a long last drag from her cigarette.

With Bryan lean­ing against the back bumper, I eased over and hopped the guardrail and joined Pete who had stalked five good steps from Deb. I sat down, clear­ing my head and saw the fire­fly of Deb’s cig­a­rette streak down the bank, its ember the sin­gle red arch of a mid­night rain­bow. The glow­ing ember bounced onto the tracks below. It thought of my splash ear­li­er and rubbed my eyes, try­ing again to clear my head. Pete didn’t seem near­ly as drunk, which was com­fort­ing, even now with all the Deb prob­lems and flat tire, con­sid­er­ing he was dri­ving. The ember near­ly land­ed in per­fect bal­ance across a flat­ted out rail and then light­ly fell to the mid­dle, a red light fad­ing into the dark.

The ridge line was vis­i­ble even in the dark­est dark, its out­line rolling past on every side of us, thick and more dense than the sky itself with mil­lions of years of veg­e­ta­tion. The Rock­ies were young kids com­pared to our soft curved moun­tains, naked and cold, ugly rocks jut­ting up like half-wit bul­lies, no majesty, no his­to­ry, just flat gray fault line hem­or­rhoids. But our majes­tic ridge line cir­cled now like a sea snake watch­ing us drown­ing in the depths, hang­ing on to a shred­ded Goodyear.

Pete wasn’t talk­ing and Deb wasn’t talk­ing and maybe because I was drunk and not my usu­al medi­at­ing self, I also con­tin­ued to sit qui­et­ly. A scoot­ing about of road­side grav­el trailed up behind us and Bryan put a hand each on our shoul­ders. His breath­ing was less labored now and I only now noticed that he had tak­en what may have been a knee to his fore­head. A knot the size of a bird egg cast a small shad­ow across his brow. Bryan: the human uni­corn lunger of Cal­vary. I laughed and Deb shot me a look, her eyes sparkling beau­ti­ful fire.

“Fear not,” Bryan said. “I have the answer.”

“Peru is the answer,” I said. My lips were still numb.

“Shut up,” Bryan said.

“Sor­ry.”

“The C & O runs through here to Burned Rock about this time,” Bryan con­tin­ued, then glanced at a nonex­is­tent watch, screwed up the cor­ner of his mouth. “Any­way, it ain’t come yet. It’s com­ing. It always slows here, I’ve seen it. We blind jump it and when she cranks back up we ride to Burned Rock, walk to Cal­vary and get a car and a spare. From Burned Rock, it’s just a half mile walk.” He held out his arms, favor­ing his side as he did so, and made a wob­bling bow­ing gesture.

Pete had been lis­ten­ing with­out look­ing at Bryan. He had left his gaze some­where out there with the sea snake. “Yeah, sure thing. That can be our back­up plan,” he final­ly said. “Back­up plan. Got it?”

All of us, even Deb, looked at Pete. Going hobo on a train back to Burned Rock was not the most desir­able sug­ges­tion made since the flat sent us to the side of the road, but it was some­thing. It was a lit­tle bet­ter than cling­ing to a shred­ded Goodyear and cross­ing our fin­gers. But now Deb was off the guardrail and eas­ing over to us. The sleek, slow move­ments of her legs cut through the moon­light. Her breath might have smelled of elec­tric rain wait­ing in the clouds. She ignored me and Bryan and now it was Deb who was in front of Pete. It was some kind of musi­cal guardrail game.

“So what’s the real plan, Peter?”

“Don’t call me that, okay?”

She sulked the way Deb sulked, a gor­geous set of tics and twitch­es. The flash light­ning and storm clouds were gone. If I’d known her the way Pete knew her, I’d say she was wor­ried. Pete must have noticed it, informed as he was. His voice was dif­fer­ent when he spoke again.

“We just ride the flat hard as hell back home,” Pete said, and went to her, tak­ing her small shoul­ders in his hands. “I’ll dri­ve it straight, six­ty, six­ty-five, and that’ll keep down the grind on the rim, at least enough to get us there. I’ll have to get anoth­er rim on top of anoth­er tire, but we should get there.”

Deb’s fea­tures soft­ened. She gave Pete the gift of her smile and then kissed him hard on the mouth. Break­ing the speed lim­it so that three good tires lift­ed on the cur­rent and eased the grind on the rim seemed to excite her endlessly. 

My gold­en splash machine shriv­eled inside my khakis and then, sud­den­ly, I need­ed to relieve myself again. I paced off a good dis­tance and pulled out, bend­ing, adjust­ing, and going through my rou­tine. There was a firm smack against my side. My knees buck­led and piss streaked my pant leg. Bryan sidled up next to me.

“You going on the roller coast­er ride?” he asked after I finished.

“You made me piss on my pants.”

“You pissed you pants?”

“No. You made me … Look, Nev­er mind. I’m not rid­ing that thing back home. I’m with you. Let’s play it hobo style and catch the C & O.”

Bryan seemed pleased with this and we walked back to the Grena­da where Pete was inspect­ing the dam­age to the tire. Deb was already at shot­gun pick­ing her fin­ger­nails and hold­ing them up in front of her face, nib­bling the edges. She waved to us and we squat­ted beside Pete.

“Pete, we’re catch­ing the C & O,” I said. I thought of the sil­ver fish streaks of moon­light on the rails from ear­li­er chas­ing their way across the bro­ken map line of tracks lead­ing through the valley.

Pete seemed gen­er­al­ly uncon­cerned, but con­tent. “Okay, Hoss. See you in a few hours and then we’re out of here. Out of here for good!” He whirled around the grill again, the strange dance an exact repli­ca of what he had per­formed in hot white anger just moments before. White hot anger, white hot lust. I fig­ured there wasn’t much dif­fer­ence. Didn’t look to be, anyway. 

As soon as Pete was behind the wheel it was bursts of dust and trench­es again and Deb wav­ing back­wards out the win­dow, her ni
bbled fin­gers wig­gling a good­bye. I won­dered if she noticed the stain down my new pants. See­ing the sparks fly like weld­ed met­al from the rim, I won­dered if we looked like wicked souls ascend­ing, lift­ed away with the dust.


Shel­don Lee Comp­ton
lives at the east­ern­most tip of Ken­tucky. He has earned pay­checks as a teacher, jour­nal­ist, coal min­er, plumber, pub­lic rela­tions spe­cial­ist and car­pen­ter. His work has appeared in New South­ern­er, Inscape, The Cut-Thru Review, Kudzu and elsewhere.

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James Baker Hall Dead

James Bak­er Hall died on June 25th. I con­fess to not hav­ing read him (yet–only so much time and ener­gy in one life-span) but I had read about him a few times in con­nec­tion with Wen­dell Berry. The poems I'm able to find online are quite good, though. I'm comb­ing the online book­sellers soon, so if any­one has a book rec­om­men­da­tion, I'm game.

From Tom Thur­man at ket​.org:

James Bak­er Hall

A Profile

<!– Jim Hall Jim Hall Jim Hall –>

James Bak­er Hall grew up in Lex­ing­ton, KY, where he was a mul­ti-sport star ath­lete at Hen­ry Clay High School. With mon­ey he made from his paper route, he trav­eled to Paris at age 20. After fin­ish­ing col­lege back home at the Uni­ver­si­ty of Ken­tucky, he left for grad­u­ate work at Stan­ford, where he was lat­er joined by fel­low Ken­tuck­ians and UK alums Wen­dell Berry, Gur­ney Nor­man, and then Ed McClana­han.

Jim squeezed in a stay in Seat­tle between stints at Stan­ford. Lat­er he set­tled in Storrs, CT, where he was joined by Gur­ney for a time and re-estab­lished ties with Bob­bie Ann Mason, then a grad­u­ate stu­dent at the Uni­ver­si­ty of Con­necti­cut. Jim is quick to give cred­it to UK writ­ing pro­fes­sor Bob Hazel for encour­ag­ing young writ­ers to explore the world before set­tling down to write about it:

“The one thing that Robert Hazel insist­ed upon that had an imme­di­ate and last­ing effect on us all was that we get out of Ken­tucky,” he remem­bers. “We had to leave in order to escape the provin­cial­ism of our her­itage. And what leav­ing Ken­tucky at that time meant more often than not, if not all the time, was New York. So we went somewhere.”

After leav­ing Con­necti­cut, where he blunt­ly states that his life was in tur­moil, Jim returned to Ken­tucky in the ear­ly 1970s as a writ­ing pro­fes­sor at his alma mater. As a poet, pho­tog­ra­ph­er, and film­mak­er, he has estab­lished him­self as a major cre­ative force in many fields, and in 2001 he was named to a two-year term as Kentucky’s Poet Laureate.

“I came back in 1973, after hav­ing been gone for 20 years or so … and I found out after a num­ber of years that I had very, very pro­found unfin­ished busi­ness here. But I didn’t know that when I came back,” Jim says. “And I stayed on because it’s my home. You don’t have to like your home, right? You only got one.”

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