Reg's First Time, by Court Merrigan

Reg bought into the Win­ter­creek the sum­mer he was 16 on the strength of the work he'd been doing sum­mers and vaca­tions for the past five years. The Legion base­ball coach called every day for two weeks when he found out. Reg was the finest slap-hit­ting third base­man he'd ever seen, said the coach. A reg­u­lar Wade Bog­gs. Leo Van, Reg's father, final­ly asked the coach to stop pes­ter­ing the boy. Though he agreed it was a damn shame. But Reg had made up his mind. And Reg wasn't big on shift­ing his mind around once he got it somewhere.

Reg could dig in cor­ru­ga­tions at the the field ends for twelve sol­id hours, catch three hours' sleep, roll out of bed at the first alarm beep for the mid­night set, sleep a cou­ple hours after, and be up before sum­mer dawn to feed the stock, day after day after day. When the front-end loader went on the fritz, he hauled end­less buck­ets of ground corn and hay bales across the yard to the feed­ers. Then he tore the loader into a greasy mass of parts, puz­zling out repairs with­out a word of advice from his father or old­er broth­ers Han­ni­bal and Frank. He hunt­ed down a pack of wild dogs in the draws that had sav­aged the spring­calves. He put up new fence on four sec­tions. When school start­ed, he reluc­tant­ly went off with a yel­low car­toon-char­ac­ter back­pack. His moth­er had picked it out for him, since he refused to go into town for school sup­plies. He raced home from school, try­ing to get in a day's work before dark, count­ing the months and days till school­ing was done. He had zero inter­est in col­lege. After high school, Reg hard­ly ever left the spread.

Eldest broth­er Han­ni­bal was back from col­lege and rest­less. He pulled his weight, but seemed mere­ly to be wait­ing for Frank to grad­u­ate col­lege and come home. Sus­pi­cions were con­firmed when Han­ni­bal left for the East not three months after Frank returned, promis­es to be back "some­day soon" strewn all over the spread. Frank sim­mered but stayed put. He had no real heart for farm work, but no strength to leave. Leo's health start­ed on a slow down­ward spi­ral and the next years were hard. The Win­ter­creek was a hell of a spread for three men, one aging, one half-heart­ed. Leo final­ly signed on to a gov­ern­ment set-aside pro­gram one spring. More than half the Win­ter­creek was let lay fal­low. Reg, 21-year old vir­gin work­horse, found him­self with a lot less to do.

One Sat­ur­day night, he was per­suad­ed by bud­dies off neigh­bor­ing spreads to go in to Steppe. They went straight to Turtleback's, where his bud­dies said the girls were. Reg wasn't much for pool or tequi­la. He blushed enor­mous­ly when a girl talked to him, think­ing she was mak­ing fun of him. He retreat­ed to the bar. The bar­tender was Reg's old PE teacher, Mr. Har­ris. Mr. Har­ris had been run out of Steppe High for show­ing smut­ty web­sites to stu­dents and mak­ing one too many "sur­prise inspec­tions" of the girl's lock­er room. He remem­bered Reg's uncan­ny instinct at the plate. He poured Reg up a beer.

"Sup­pose you're too busy out on the farm to play much ball these days, huh?" asked Mr. Harris.

"Was," said Reg. "But Dad's got half the damn place on set-aside. Bout going out of my skull."

"That right?"

"It's no kind of life."

"Tell you what. We could use some help behind the bar here. Hourly and tips. What do you say?"

Reg thought of a long sum­mer watch­ing weeds over­run the fal­low fields.

"All right," he said.

It was hard at first, all the talk­ing to strangers. He was so ner­vous he couldn't stop smil­ing. Which nat­u­ral­ly made him pop­u­lar overnight. As the tip jar filled up, he learned dirty jokes and sta­tis­ti­cal triv­ia and con­coct­ed the best mar­gari­ta mix in the coun­ty. He was nev­er late and nev­er left his feet. He broke up fights with gen­tle threats. He had female admir­ers, but nev­er took their mean­ing when they flirt­ed. Then along came Mindy.

She drank whisky sours at the bar, smok­ing thin cig­a­rettes and watch­ing Reg. The first three times she came in, she didn't say any­thing except to order, and she didn't tip. Reg noticed her and didn't look over, that goofy smile plas­tered to his face. Being eye­balled always kept it there. The only time it hadn't was step­ping up to the plate. Her fourth time in, Mr. Har­ris said his usu­al some­thing about Reg's cheek mus­cles get­ting a hell of a work­out. He thought she was a bit old for Reg, maybe, but not bad-look­ing for all that. As Reg hand­ed her a whisky sour, she said,

"You don't much know how to talk to a woman, do you?"

"Ma'am?" said Reg.

"You got a name?"

"Sure," he said.

"Let's have it then," said Mindy.

She was wait­ing for Reg out in the park­ing lot after clos­ing time. Would he maybe like to come over for a drink or two, she asked.

"I don't know," he said. "I got water to set in the morning."

"A farm boy," said Mindy.

"Well, yeah."

"That explains it. Come here, farm boy."

She kissed him right there, her smoky tongue dart­ing deft­ly with a glazy warmth whol­ly new to rough Reg, hands up his T‑shirt, lac­quered nails flick­ing his nip­ples. She pulled away with a steep smile.

"How bout that drink?" she said.

"Right behind you," said Reg.

He fol­lowed about three feet behind her back bumper. His stom­ach roiled and his arms twitched and a small wet spot appeared in his jeans. On the out­skirts of town, they pulled into a trail­er park with tar black­top streets, a sur­face not seen else­where in the coun­ty for years. Mindy pulled up in front of a burnt-orange and brown sin­glewide. He parked on the street, pick­up tak­ing up more than half its width. She was wait­ing for him under a flick­er­ing plas­tic light at the door.

He sat on a stool in the kitch­enette while she mixed drinks and tried to keep his hands steady on the yel­low-stained Formi­ca coun­ter­top. They were about to toast when a bleary-eyed blonde child in a long night­gown walked in. She took no notice of Reg.

"Rhon­da," said Mindy. "Mommy's a lit­tle busy right now."

"Can I get a water?" asked Rhonda.

"Dammit, I told you —"

She looked over at Reg and stopped.

"Would you mind?" she asked.

A plas­tic cup on the counter seemed to be the clean­est of the var­i­ous filthy items sit­ting in and around the sink. He del­i­cate­ly shift­ed a cou­ple dish­es out of the way and filled the cup. Rhon­da glugged it down and wiped her mouth gigan­ti­cal­ly on her sleeve.

"Say thank you," said Mindy.

"Thank you," said Rhon­da, slit­ting her eyes in his gen­er­al direc­tion. "Is that Harry?"

"No, sweet­ie pie," said Mindy. "This is Reg. Reg has got a big big farm."

"Are there hors­es on it?"

With a star­tled glance, Reg saw both females were wait­ing on the answer.

"Sure," he said. "We got horses."

"Back to bed," said Mindy.

"Good­night, Mario," said Rhon­da, and went down the nar­row hallway.

"Maybe I should get going," said Reg.

"No way, buster. Don't you wor­ry about her. She won't get up again. She almost nev­er does. Nei­ther does Harv."

"Harv?"

"My son. Sleeps like a rock."

She kissed his neck. Reg had noth­ing to say against that, even if he'd real­ly want­ed to. They picked their way through a mine­field of squeaky toys to Mindy's bed­room at the far end of the
trail­er.

***

Reg's eyes snapped open at his nor­mal 4:45. He was more than an hour's dri­ve from the Win­ter­creek. He dis­en­tan­gled him­self from the sheets and heav­i­ly snor­ing Mindy, who mum­bled unin­tel­li­gi­ble phras­es in her sleep. He dressed and strapped on his boots. Out­side it was already light. He rum­maged around on the van­i­ty and found a pen
cil stub. On the back of a 2nd notice cable bill, he wrote his name and num­ber. He shut the door qui­et­ly and didn't rev the pick­up start­ing it.

He didn't feel too much dif­fer­ent. But all he could think about was her. Whose last name he didn't even know. Not being too good with streets, he wasn't sure he could find her trail­er again. But if she didn't call, there was Turtleback's. She didn't call.

The day of his next shift, he fin­ished up irri­gat­ing an hour ear­ly. Leo raised his eye­brows but didn't say any­thing. He'd noticed Reg rolling into the yard way past dawn the oth­er morn­ing. Leo had been two years in the jun­gle killing com­mie peas­ants, pitch­forked his way through a case of Hep C, and kept the Win­ter­creek togeth­er through the dri­est, mean­est years this coun­try of God's had ever seen. He'd come to see how a man doesn’t con­trol but a small part of his des­tiny. He had an idea what was hound­ing the boy and knew bet­ter than to think there was any­thing to be done. After Reg's dust trail dis­ap­peared from the ranch road, he went out and checked the boy's sets for the first time in years. They were spot-on perfect.

Ear­ly to work, Reg near­ly sweat­ed out the care­ful styling of his hair ener­get­i­cal­ly haul­ing crates of beer to the bar. He kept so steady a watch on the entrance cus­tomers got shunt­ed and cock­tail wait­ress­es had to shout for his atten­tion. She didn't come. Near clos­ing time he vol­un­teered for a shift the next night and poured him­self some lib­er­al bar drinks in quick suc­ces­sion. Mr. Har­ris noticed, but kept qui­et, this being Reg's first time. Sit­ting in the park­ing lot, he thought about look­ing for her trail­er. But what to do if he got there? He went home.

The next shift was much the same. Until mid­night, when she walked in. She came up to the bar and wait­ed for him to pour up a round of beers.

She said, "How you been, steamy britches?"

When they got to the trail­er, the kids were up and watch­ing car­toons. They called him by name and Harv, a per­ilous­ly thin boy of sev­en or eight, asked to be picked up. When Reg oblig­ed, he deliv­ered a cook­ie-wet kiss to Reg's cheek. Reg put Harv down and said, "Don't they have school?"

"Sum­mer, sil­ly," said Mindy.

She tot­tered against the coun­ter­top from the tequi­la shots Reg had comped her. He stead­ied her out.

"Think I should dri­ve you home next time," he said.

"Don't nag me, now. Just when I'm get­ting to enjoy being the bartender's girlfriend."

Reg helped her get the kids to bed, who insist­ed on a bed­night sto­ry. When they got to Mindy's bed­room, it was 3:30. Mindy went for his zip­per. Reg looked at the paper thin walls.

"Won't they hear?" he asked

"Didn't you just put them to sleep?" said Mindy.

He didn't take long, but after it was still too late for sleep. He stroked Mindy's dirty blonde hair and watched for dawn. He had plen­ty of work at the Win­ter­creek and then the Fri­day shift at Turtleback's and then, he hoped, back here again. He didn't see how he'd ever sleep again. He didn't see how he'd want to. Mindy was asleep. He want­ed to tell her every­thing he'd ever been. But look at her there, so peace­ful. He kept qui­et, watch­ing the time go, chuck­ling sound­less­ly to think of him­self loaf­ing around.

When it was time, he slipped out from under her. His belt buck­le rat­tled when he cinched it up and Mindy's eyes flicked open.

"So soon, babe?" she said, stretch­ing out her arms.

"I got work to do," he said, but went to her anyway.

After, he got up to go.

"Ah, don't look like that," said Mindy. "I'll see you again real soon. Mommy'll give you all the sug­ar you want then, too."

"I know," said Reg.

"Lis­ten, babe, I hate to ask. But I’m run­ning a bit short this month."

He was soon at the trail­er as often as he could swing it. He even start­ed drop­ping by before shifts. He didn't like to think of him­self as a pup­py, but he guessed he was.

One time he came by and the kids were plant­ed in front of the TV. He start­ed giv­ing out Rodeo Rides. Mindy came out wrapped in a tow­el and pissed off. She said she had to get ready and how could she with all the rack­et, and why didn't he call before he came over like peo­ple do. Harv and Rhon­da stared and the TV blared. He looked at her dry hair.

She said, "I bare­ly got in when you start­ed clomp­ing around."

He apol­o­gized, but she still made him leave. He went out hang­dog, not say­ing good­bye to the kids. Which he felt bad about, so he went back in real qui­et. The kids hugged him tight­ly and kept look­ing toward the back. Where Mindy was being pret­ty noisy tak­ing that show­er. In at Turtleback's, he told him­self it'd be a while before he'd show his face round there again. He told him­self that all night. At clos­ing time he slipped the bus­boy to do his cleanup and was back at the trail­er ten min­utes later.

It was like noth­ing had hap­pened. Mindy was all smiles and Harv want­ed to go out­side and play catch, late as it was. Reg promised to come by Sun­day for a round. Mindy fired him up some bur­ri­tos in the microwave. Rhon­da brought him milk. Fam­i­ly-feel­ing, almost. Lat­er, after a cou­ple rounds in the bed­room, Reg asked what was the deal with the kids. Mindy said it was a long sto­ry but wasn't nei­ther one of their dad­dies worth a broke dick.

"Were you mar­ried?" asked Reg.

"To them?" said Mindy.

"Well, yeah."

"To Harv's dad­dy. For a lit­tle while. But the sono­fabitch had it annul­li­fied. Been skip­ping out on child sup­port ever since."

Reg didn't much want to know more. So he caught an hour's sleep.

As the skies threat­ened snow, he was still keep­ing it up. Except for a lit­tle stretch there dur­ing har­vest, he was reg­u­lar as a heart­beat round Mindy's. He got so he didn't like some of the con­di­tions she and the kids were liv­ing in, so he did some fix­it work—wiring, plumb­ing, storm win­dows, satel­lite dish. And he made sure Mindy, who took a tem­pera­men­tal dis­lik­ing to any­one named "boss", stayed off food stamps. The kids got to swarm­ing him at the door. He took them school shop­ping the last day of sum­mer vaca­tion. Mindy had had too much the night before and wouldn't drag her­self out of bed. Mean­while he didn't think he was giv­ing any­one at the Win­ter­creek cause to say he was slack­ing. What he didn't do much of was sleep. He got used to it.

Win­ter came and decid­ed to stick around. With the har­vest in the bins and the cat­tle graz­ing safe on the low­er pas­tures, things slowed down to a slug's crawl round the Win­ter­creek. Reg got to think­ing about that 12-mile dri­ve down the ranch road through snow­drifts and blow­ing cold to the icy high­way and anoth­er 25 miles into Steppe. Mak­ing it every day didn't seem the best of plans. He start­ed spend­ing half the week at Mindy's, short nights when he was pulling a shift at Turtleback's, long evenings with the kids when he didn't. Some calves jumped the fence down by the riv­er. By the time Reg got there, three had wan­dered out onto the thin ice and drowned. No one blamed him, but Leo put Frank on the calves from then on.

Reg didn't protest. Freed up more time. The kids were a lot on his mind. Mindy was fick­le as a dust dev­il. Seemed like most days she could take or leave him with­out much notic­ing either way. The kids, on the oth­er hand, loved him steadi­ly. One snowy after­noon he was thun­der­struck to hear they didn't know how to make snow angels. He flicked off the TV and told them it was time to learn, so go get dressed. The kids duti­ful­ly trooped to their rooms and came back with jean jack­ets on.

"How about gloves? Hats? Boots?" he asked.

"Don't got none," said Harv.

"Jesus Christ," Reg said. "We're going to the store."

"Mom said what they go invent heat
ers for, if you have to go around wear­ing coats all the time," said Rhonda.

"Hell," said Reg.

Mid-win­ter Mindy fina­gled a job at the new call cen­ter. She took late shifts to call peo­ple out in Seat­tle and Hawaii and such places, get­ting home lat­er than Reg most nights. She gave up on morn­ings alto­geth­er. When he was there, Reg took the kids into school. When he wasn't, they slogged a quar­ter mile over snow-drift­ed tar­top to the school­bus stop. Plen­ty of morn­ings when it was toasty inside and mom was snor­ing down the hall they wouldn't have made it. But Reg told them they had to. So most morn­ings they did. When Harv came home with a shin­er and fat lip, Reg taught him to throw a jab and right hook. When Rhon­da came home with a ripped shirt and scratch­es on her cheek, he taught her the same. On Christ­mas Eve, Mindy drank too much spiked eggnog and passed out before nine. She refused to get up next morn­ing, no mat­ter how much they shook her. Reg watched them open Santa's presents. Which he'd bought.

"Those kids of yours," he said to Mindy one night after she slapped away his grop­ing hand to light a cig­a­rette in bed. "They need a lot more look­ing after."

"You seem to be doing just fine," said Mindy.

"Spring­time comes, I'm going to be real busy. Dad's talk­ing about unfal­low­ing some of that land." He thought about it. "How about their daddies?"

"Babe," said Mindy, exhal­ing might­i­ly. "They didn't give a good god­damn about me. What makes you think they give two shits about their crumbgobblers?"

By now Reg noticed a cer­tain type of women seemed to find a bar­tender irre­sistible. But he paid no mind. How­ev­er green that grass was, he was a one-woman man. Who was these days more often than not with­out his woman. Mindy was some­times gone for days at a stretch. She had noth­ing to say about where to. She seemed to think the kids were his job now. She got pissed if he start­ed on the ques­tion­ing. Reg kept men­tion­ing springtime.

"Why don't you quit that farm­ing crap?" Mindy said. "You got a good job at the bar. Why do you want to work out in the dust and manure and manure-dust?"

He couldn't explain it to her, of course. He thought about try­ing to show her, but not for long. No way he could take her out there, what with her shriek­ing ways and open-faced dis­gust. Oth­er than to guess how much his share was worth, she'd nev­er asked ques­tion one about the spread. He was afraid Rhon­da would ask about the hors­es again, but she nev­er did. Tak­ing Mindy out there was one thing, but there was no good way to explain her hav­ing a cou­ple kids. No one in the fam­i­ly nosed into his per­son­al affairs, but they might start if he stuck their faces smack dab into them.

At spring­time, Leo unfal­lowed about a third of the set-aside. With Frank's heart not in it and Reg gone all the time, it was all he dared do. He didn't know what kind of woman Reg was tan­gled up with, but the fact that he nev­er said any­thing about her nor brought her round didn't sig­ni­fy much good. But it wasn't his place to say. Reg want­ed to hear from him, he'd ask. Reg didn't ask.

Reg carved out a day a week to come to the trail­er that long spring. In the week with­out him, the kids would just about go to seed, faces dirty, clothes stained, cook­ies gone. He learned to sew and cook. The kids blub­bered when he left but spring work didn't let up on account of wet cheeks. Mindy nev­er came in to Turtleback's, but his mar­gari­ta mix stayed in high demand. He took secret shines to a few oth­er women round the place. If they noticed he stopped being friend­ly, which was plen­ty hard some­times. If some­thing went wrong between him and Mindy, what would hap­pen to the kids? Out in the park­ing lot after a shift, he'd remem­ber those nights when Mindy was the won­der of all his world. But if she wasn't home, he didn't want to know. He head­ed for the Wintercreek.

His next vis­it, the kids report­ed their moth­er had been gone for three days. Reg smiled wan­ly and put away the gro­ceries and sat down with an open box of cook­ies on the rat­ty couch. The kids cud­dled into him under the TV blue­flick­er and crumbs col­lect­ed every­where. At Turtleback's that night, a sway­ing cus­tomer paused at the bar.

"I seen you around," he said.

"And maybe I've seen you," said Reg.

"You're play­ing dad­dy to that Mindy's kids. Awful gen­tle­man­ly of you."

The cus­tomer swigged down his whisky and clutched the bartop.

"Anoth­er one?" Reg asked.

"It's your busi­ness," the man said. "Guess if it don't both­er you, all those men troop­ing in and out of there day and night, it don't both­er me."

"You want to watch your­self," said Reg.

"I'm just say­ing, is all. Any­how, it's only on the brain cause I just seen her. Up at the Guadala­jara. Doing the olé Mex­i­can two-step. Looked to me like there were about 10 of em ready to take her to the back alley. If you catch my meaning."

Reg stabbed at the ice­box. The man watched him.

"Well, all right. Like I said. You sure are gen­tle­man­ly. Me, I got to take a piss."

Reg watched him sway­ing away till long after he was gone. Then he turned to Mr. Harris.

"I got to go take care of some­thing," he said, tak­ing off his bar apron.

"You com­ing back?" said Mr. Harris.

"Don't know," said Reg.

At the Guadala­jara, Mindy was fin­ish­ing up a slur­ry sam­ba on the bar­top. She was top­less and her miniskirt left only a small square shad­ow to the imag­i­na­tion. There was rau­cous cheer­ing and a cou­ple men helped her down. She kissed them both. Reg gave out a cou­ple sharp elbows and wrapped his jack­et around her.

"I'm get­ting you out of here," he said.

Mindy looked at him with unsteady eyes. She threw the jack­et down.

"Who in the hill you think you are?" she said, voice sloppy.

He grabbed for her wrist. The two men, sneer­ing dark­ly, stepped to him, chins jut­ting inch­es away.

"What are you doing," said one. "Don't you know that's my woman?"

"And mine," said the other.

"I got noth­ing against you," said Reg. "Or you. But this woman's got two kids she ought to be at home with."

"I got three kids," said the first man. "You say­ing I should be home, too?"

"Get out of here," said Mindy. "I don't even know who you are."

"She don't even know who you are," said the sec­ond man.

More men were gath­er­ing behind him. They were mum­bling and snig­ger­ing and rel­ish­ing the prospect.

"The kids," he said to Mindy.

"Get the fuck out!" she shrieked.

"You heard her," said the first man. "I'm a caballero. I give you about five seconds."

Dirty sweat ran down her neck to her breasts, slick rib­bons gleam­ing dull in the yel­low halflight. Her face all snarled up was like a rabid rac­coon he'd seen drown in an irri­ga­tion ditch. He could see a cou­ple decades from now: Rhon­da where her moth­er was, Harv creep­ing up hard behind him. He final­ly saw what was in the cards, how­ev­er much milk and cook­ies he brought to the trailer.

He turned and walked out, ignor­ing the thrown shoul­ders and threats. The dis­ap­point­ment in the Guadala­jara was pal­pa­ble, but only last­ed until Mindy got at it again. Reg didn't go back to Turtleback's or the trail­er. Next spring, there were no fal­low acres on the Wintercreek.

Creative Commons License
Reg's First Time by Court Mer­ri­g­an is licensed under a Cre­ative Com­mons Attri­bu­tion 3.0 Unporte
d License
.

Court Merrigan’s short sto­ries have appeared in Black­bird, Weber Review, Por­cu­pine, Ever­green Review, The Sum­mer­set Review, Dublin Quar­ter­ly, The Kyoto Jour­nal, Pin­deldy­boz, Iden­ti­ty The­o­ry, and Angle, among oth­ers. Orig­i­nal­ly from Nebras­ka, he has lived in var­i­ous places East and West. He cur­rent­ly resides in Thai­land with his fam­i­ly and plans to be back in the USA soon. He blogs at End­less Emen­da­tion.

Posted in court merrigan, Fiction, reg's first time | 1 Comment

Ron Rash Reading from Serena


Ron Rash read­ing from Ser­e­na.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dhs7gHOE9_g&hl=en&fs=1]

Posted in ron rash, serena | Leave a comment

Redneck White Trash Cheater Cheater

This is the most chip­per song I've ever heard about adultery.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmqIsnIp5uc&hl=en&fs=1]

It's also inter­est­ing to note who exact­ly gets the moniker 'white trash ho.' It's not enough, in this song, to call your man's girl­friend a ho. You have to add 'white-trash' as an adjec­tive, mak­ing the woman even low­er than low, like efflu­ents or road piz­za or an inhab­i­tant of either wing (right or left). Yet she has no term of equal appro­ba­tion for the cheater. I find that curi­ous. Does she, uh, want to keep him? Is it a case of till death do we part, and I've got my gun to has­ten the process, ass­hole? I just don't know.

Makes cheat­ing seem all hap­py and stuff. And Nao­mi Judd at the end. Just too precious.

Let's find out.Which do you pre­fer, peo­ple? Where on the scale of accept­able reduc­tion and name-call­ing do you find red­neck and white trash and flat­lander [where I grew up, that was the name; or 'peo­ple from Jer­sey' (not to put too fine a point on that love­ly state which, accord­ing to many peo­ple from PA, ought to be cut off with NY to float out into the Atlantic)?] Are there oth­er, even more reduc­tive terms you can find to refer to white peo­ple of a cer­tain social, income or res­i­den­tial sta­tus? We sure know all the ones for peo­ple of dif­fer­ent race.

It's still OK to call peo­ple white trash in pop­u­lar cul­ture. Lis­ten for it some time; it may sur­prise you how often it comes up.

I'm edit­ing a new sto­ry right now for the site. I'd hope to get it up this week, but more like­ly Tues­day or later.

Posted in adultery, cheater, flatlander, jerseyite, redneck, white trash | 2 Comments

W. Virginia town shrugs at poorest health ranking

I'll be damned. Poor peo­ple don't eat well, and get fat as a result? Who woul­da thunk it?

HUNTINGTON, W.Va. – As a port­ly woman plod­ded ahead of him on the side­walk, the obese may­or of America's fat­test and unhealth­i­est city explained why health is not a big local issue.

"It doesn't come up," said David Felin­ton, 5‑foot‑9 and 233 pounds, as he walked toward City Hall one recent morn­ing. "We've got a lot of eco­nom­ic chal­lenges here in Hunt­ing­ton. That's usu­al­ly the focus."

Huntington's econ­o­my has with­ered, its pover­ty rate is worse than the nation­al aver­age, and vagrants haunt a down­town river­front park. But this city's finan­cial woes are not near­ly as bad as its health.

Near­ly half the adults in Huntington's five-coun­ty met­ro­pol­i­tan area are obese—an astound­ing per­cent­age, far big­ger than the nation­al aver­age in a coun­try with a well-known weight problem.


Appar­ent­ly they have two hun­dred piz­za joints in Hunt­ing­ton, WV. Not bad.

I admit to gaw­ping and slaver­ing at the McDonald's quar­ter-pounder per­haps more than I ought to, even after Mor­gan Spur­lock showed us all that Mick­ey D's food is a chem­i­cal-meat-pota­to-chick­en neck nuku­lar dis­as­ter. Who could for­get the scene with those french fries, under a glass cov­er for a month or so, that didn't change shape or grow mold? And I will­ing­ly put that shit into my gut. If it don't decom­pose, why the hell am I swal­low­ing it? I need to answer that for myself soon, but you'll have to excuse me, my cheese­burg­er and fries are reheating.

Too, I have heard my friend Emi­ly lec­ture to any­one who will lis­ten about the high fruc­tose corn syrup in sodas and many foods, expe­cial­ly the processed foods that— you guessed it—poor peo­ple buy. I'm not poor, if I ever real­ly was— it's debat­able— but I sure enough eat like I'm poor most days. Ease of cook­ing and speed of con­sump­tion rule the day.

This is the part where I say I hope my kids are smarter than I am.

Posted in bad food, high fructose corn syrup, morgan spurlock | Leave a comment

More Carolyn Chute

Link cour­tesy of End­less Emen­da­tion:

PARSONSFIELD, Me. — The nov­el­ist Car­olyn Chute doesn’t have a work­ing phone, a fax or a com­put­er. She writes on a wash­tub-size elec­tric type­writer that was prob­a­bly state of the art in the ’70s. Ms. Chute (pro­nounced CHOOT) and her hus­band, Michael, live in a small com­pound at the end of an unpaved road in this rur­al Maine vil­lage near the New Hamp­shire bor­der. There are stacks of old tires in the yard, a rust­ed bed­stead, a pen full of Scot­tish ter­ri­ers and an assort­ment of well-used vehi­cles. A bumper stick­er on Mr. Chute’s pick­up reads, “School Takes 13 Years Because That’s How Long It Takes to Break a Child’s Spirit.”

I admire the lifestyle. I don't know if I could do it myself, though. It's one thing to read about it, anoth­er entire­ly to do: what would I do with­out the computer?

Find­ing new con­tent and find­ing time to put it up or write some­thing halfway clever has been dif­fi­cult late­ly, as you all have no doubt noticed. I'm hop­ing to be back on the stick some­time soon.

Posted in carolyn chute, time's winged chariot | Leave a comment

This Is Where I am Today (in my head)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4s0nzsU1Wg&hl=en&fs=1]

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Some Musing and Some Discussion of Carolyn Chute

Boy. It's been a while. Sor­ry about that, all of you who keep faith­ful­ly com­ing back to check out the blank pages. I've been tak­ing a class in poet­ry (going well, thanks for ask­ing) teach­ing, deal­ing with the nec­es­sary com­pli­ca­tions of three chil­dren, deaths in the fam­i­ly, and so on.

I want to talk briefly about one of the main inspi­ra­tions for begin­ning this blogazine. I've read many books writ­ten about rur­al Amer­i­ca, and near­ly every one exists in a polit­i­cal vac­u­um. I don't know if it's because rur­al folk, espe­cial­ly the rur­al poor, have been tak­en advan­tage of so many times that dis­cussing pol­i­tics seems only to fuel the fires of indig­nance and to reen­force the qua­si-lib­er­tar­i­an views many rur­al folk have, or what, but most of these books don't pro­vide char­ac­ters that look to the larg­er scheme of things. Rur­al folks are gen­er­al­ly con­cerned with food, shel­ter and pro­cre­ation and the work they do to pro­vide those things , like every­one else. Maybe they can't spare a thought for the big pic­ture because the big pic­ture has tra­di­tion­al­ly nev­er includ­ed them. They're engaged polit­i­cal­ly inso­far as it affects them directly–local pol­i­tics especially–but so deep in the day-to-day grind that the pol­i­tics of the larg­er pic­ture seems a lux­u­ry to be engaged in when every­thing else is tak­en care of, and 'every­thing else' is rarely tak­en care of com­plete­ly. In my opin­ion, just to men­tion one big-pic­ture item, most folks would buy local, avoid Wal-Mart, shun oth­er big busi­ness­es for their dai­ly needs, if they were giv­en an oppor­tu­ni­ty to do so cheap­ly. Wal-Mart is cheap and acces­si­ble; ergo there's one near every com­mu­ni­ty. There are many few­er local options now, and that lack forces the small-town inhab­i­tant to trav­el to that ugly-ass strip mall and lay out the cash where they can make it work for them best.

The point is, Car­olyn Chute, well-known writer and activist, does not shy away from pol­i­tics. In her last book, Snow Man, she dove direct­ly into con­tro­ver­sial waters, and near­ly drowned. Snow Man is about a mem­ber of a Maine mili­tia, Robert Drum­mond, who has had enough–the 'why' of this becomes clear imme­di­ate­ly– and trav­els to Boston to assas­si­nate some sen­a­tors, suc­ceeds in one attempt, and runs, wound­ed, bleed­ing and near­ly passed out onto Bea­con Hill and into the home of anoth­er sen­a­tor. In the first near­ly absurd moment of a book with plen­ty of absurd moments, the senator's daugh­ter and wife hide him in a spare bed­room, while the whole world is look­ing for him. Giv­en that premise, you might avoid the book, which would be amis­take. Snow Man deals with pol­i­tics in a way that might sur­prise you as it enter­tains you. Chute sees activism and sup­port for at every angle, and breaks away from the main nar­ra­tive to share the talk of peo­ple in bars and church­es who sup­port Drum­mond, much in the man­ner of a Greek cho­rus. I found myself nod­ding sym­pa­thet­i­cal­ly and winc­ing some­what at the sheer aggres­sive tone, not quite buuy­ing the premise, but hooked nonethe­less; I feel, in many ways, just like her peo­ple: fed up, pissed off, and ready to act.

Review­ers com­plained about card­board char­ac­ters, atyp­i­cal pol­i­tics, unwieldy plot, and the sheer anger of Chute and her stand-in Drum­mond. I found lit­tle of that to be accu­rate, even when I re-read it this week in the cold light of a few years per­spec­tive. It's first a good, enter­tain­ing book. While not a great book per se, it's also not an exe­ge­sis of the pol­i­tics of mili­tias and rur­al res­i­dents of Maine, as some have claimed. The book claims none of that: Drummond's heroes are Nestor Cer­pa and Sub­co­man­dante Mar­cos, unlike­ly heroes for a rur­al, qua­si-con­ser­v­a­tive guy from Maine. But that's the beau­ty of it. You can see the oppos­ing forces of the book set up so clear­ly, and poor Drum­mond is doomed from the get-go. As lit­er­a­ture, it prob­a­bly fails, as polemic, it's won­der­ful to read.

Chute's new book is in my hands, The School on Heart's Con­tent Road. She's been work­ing on it for years, even as her lit­er­ary rep­u­ta­tion sunk a bit with the cool recep­tion of Snow Man. I've been wait­ing for it, not because of The Beans of Egypt Maine, love­ly book though it is. I've been wait­ing to see what's next for her because of Snow Man.

I hope you read one of her books; all of them deserve a wider audience.

Car­olyn Chute's Wicked Good Militia

Audio inter­view with Don Swaim

Car­olyn Chute Goes Back to Egypt Maine

Posted in carolyn chute, politics, school on heart's content road | 2 Comments

Sister Hayes Takes Up a Serpent by Rosanne Griffeth


Sis­ter Hayes, she lifts her eyes up to the Lord so hard they roll back. She sings sacred songs and dances, quick-step­ping and jerk­ing as the anoint­ing descends.

It descends like a tree a'falling. It falls like a wall of water. It walls up all fear of dark­ness. It fears no man or serpent.

Sis­ter Hayes, she has the gift of tongues. She speaks them as she dances, hands held high and wav­ing. She shakes so hard she bites her tongue. That, she says, is what hap­pens when the anoint­ing descends.

It descends like tear drops falling. It drops like a cloak of shad­ows. It shad­ows out the light of evil. It lights the dark­est heart.

Sis­ter Hayes, she wears her hair down. The Spir­it rocks her hard. She twists and moans, "Oh Dear Lord, Sweet Jesus!" She can feel Him com­ing through her fin­ger­tips. And this how the anoint­ing descends.

It descends like a bolt of light­ning. It bolts the locks of Hell. It locks the box of sins. It box­es the devil's gifts.

Sis­ter Hayes, she takes up a ser­pent. She fears no dead­ly thing. Her Lord holds her and she can feel Him quick­en­ing. She lifts up the rat­tlesnake, wears it like a crown.

Sis­ter Hayes, she rolls her eyes up, ser­pents slith­er in her hair.

Sis­ter Hayes, she tilts her head back, breath­less for a holy kiss.

Rosanne Griffeth's work has been pub­lished or accept­ed by Night Train, Key­hole Mag­a­zine, Smoke­long Quar­ter­ly, Pank, The Angler, Inso­lent Rud­der, Thieves Jar­gon and Six Lit­tle Things among oth­er places. She lives on the verge of the Great Smoky Moun­tains Nation­al Park and spends her time writ­ing, milk­ing goats and doc­u­ment­ing Appalachi­an cul­ture. She is the blog­ger behind The Smokey Moun­tain Break­down.

Posted in Fiction, rosanne griffeth, sister hayes takes up a serpent, snake-handling | 4 Comments

New Content Coming

I swear it. Just hang tight, and check out some of the links if you haven't yet. You'll find good read­ing mate­r­i­al there.

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Flinging Themselves at Light by Brad D. Green

A gath­er­ing of the fam­i­ly today with­out a death. A rare occur­rence. Nor­mal­ly it is a loss that pulls our short­ly-flung ranks back to a home base. Not today. Just hot dogs and ham­burg­ers and my-how-you've-grown or my-how-you've-lost. There is always more excla­ma­tion at the loss. That is what we notice. We notice that M- arrives with­out kids or hus­band in tow, alone in her round, yel­low car. The brakes squeak as she stops next to my grandfather's old truck. The angu­lar bones of her face scrunch up. She juts when she speaks, each sen­tence a punch, a cut, a kick in your gut. Her hips have grown larg­er, I notice. I try to notice the putting on as well as the tak­ing off. A small black ball pierces her low­er lip. That's M-.

There's also LA‑, J‑, S‑, and A‑, younger than M- by five or six years. All of them mid-twen­ties. Most have met­al in their faces and live among con­crete and glass. Pierced eye­brows and tongues. Splash­es of col­or on calves, shoul­ders. They seem wild to me, that bunch, too open in their ways. I'm more pulled into myself, like an elbow on a cold day. I recall them all as tod­dlers that fol­lowed me around. Kids with locked knees, dumb with their motions, shy. S- fell asleep in my lap once, now she lurch­es about, mak­ing loud men­tion of her butt. They all seem so far away even though they are right here, glint­ing under the Texas sun.

My grand­moth­er: a prune in a lawn chair. She makes these lit­tle laughs around her cig­a­rette, the smoke ooz­ing out between her fin­gers. With each of her laughs, she deflates. I nev­er recall her thick with laugh­ter, but I watch her now in her chair in front of the box fan, bored and some­what puz­zled by the chil­dren. She shrinks each time she exhales. Per­haps laugh­ter is like an ovar­i­an egg bun­dle-one only has so many to last a life and near the end the tank hollows.

There's also T‑, who has HIV. Thin and brown. Shaved head. He wears a Blue­tooth phone all the time on his ear. Looks like a Borg, only not bad-ass. He's con­stant­ly mov­ing. Nev­er sits. He smiles, but it's a motion like kiss­ing a pane of glass. T- is an emp­ty room, his move­ment an attempt to dis­cov­er the edge of himself.

Oth­ers as well, par­ents of the met­aled-out kids: J- and N- and D‑, the last two my mother's sis­ters. My broth­er with his shorts on, black socks and bald­ing head. Three or four more that I don't know, oth­ers pulled in by the youth. They move fast, as if they expect things to hap­pen now. Per­haps it does for them. I sup­pose all the glass they live around reflects the world back to them, throws out the images they crave. I imag­ine M- there catch­ing an image and stamp­ing it to her low­er back like a tramp. I reach down and fill my palm with dirt. M- looks at me with a face sour as a young raisin. I let the dust fall through my fin­gers. She doesn't under­stand. She flings her­self at bright reflec­tions in the glass, sees anoth­er lone­ly per­son there clam­or­ing toward her.

Most of them suck on their cig­a­rettes and sweat. T- walks around spray­ing Lis­ter­ine on the tables to keep the flies away. He insists it works, but we all flick our hands about our faces, watch the flies launch from our hot dogs.

My grandmother's house. Thick with rock. Chalky with grout. It's stout, her house, the trim great inch­es of brood­ing wood, joined with angu­lar black nails. She recent­ly had every­thing redone. New paint. New appli­ances. A bru­tal rip­ping of mem­o­ries from the house. Hard­ly any­thing of my grand­fa­ther left in here. One pic­ture there, small­ish, above the square TV that's bare­ly watched. She chose col­ors that he wouldn't like, fast col­ors one finds curved around soda cans. New soft fur­ni­ture, round pil­lows with tas­sels. The main room has been rearranged around the emp­ty spot where my grand­fa­ther nor­mal­ly lounged. His chair is gone, of course, but there is obvi­ous­ly an area there, left wide and open, though his pres­ence has been hushed else­where. Each seat in the room faces that emp­ty gap.

The sun doesn't find its way easy in this house. At our house a cou­ple of hours away, wasps sneak in through open doors and then fling them­selves at what­ev­er light they can sense, under­stand­ing that a motion toward that is pos­si­ble escape. It's the same here with shad­ow. Shad­ow strikes out, arch­es along the wall search­ing for cracks and open spaces to flood; it mutes the col­or that's been flung every­where. None of the plants in the house are real now that he's gone.

I sit here in the liv­ing room after lunch with my daugh­ter. Every­one else play­ing horse­shoes or wrestling. They have a love with­in them, these kids. They demon­strate it through col­li­sions and wed­gies. My daugh­ter is ten months old and tired. I rock her and hum. I hum row row row your boat and twin­kle twin­kle lit­tle star. Slow­ly, she loosens in my arms. Like a bolt stub­born with rust, she seeks to hold her posi­tion to con­scious­ness, but once bro­ken free, she spi­rals off and is gone. Peo­ple used to being around babies have a frag­ile motion when they see one asleep. The tat­tooed and span­gled kids bus­tle about as nor­mal, sheep­ish­ly offer apolo­gies when she stirs. I wave them away. I want them out, so my daugh­ter and I can sit qui­et­ly in the room with my grandfather's absence, a man she nev­er met. She curls her lit­tle fin­gers around my thumb and vibrates from some­thing she's dream­ing. I won­der if it's that emp­ty space. Has it reached into her? It felt like a star­tle, that shake she had, the stiff­en­ing of her right leg. That's when she grabbed my thumb.

I'm here, I whis­per to her. Her hair stands straight out like she's been elec­tri­fied. The spot on the top of her skull puls­es gen­tly. I'm here, I whis­per again. She set­tles more deeply against me. I hold her, wrap what's strong about me around her. I close my eyes to shut out that emp­ty spot where he should be. If I could breathe hard enough with­out wak­ing her, I think that my breath would slide around the spot-or per­haps get sucked in. The room is lever­aged around that loss. All the new­ness in this house is hol­lowed. M- feels it too. The loss camps with her; it's why she's scrunched up and sprung out. She hides in the reflec­tions of oth­er things, unable to dis­cern the source of light. They all do. With my eyes closed, it feels as if the absence in the room is larg­er than it real­ly is, that if I were to draw in too deep a breath, what the room lacks would loom into me.

Brad D. Green lives in North Texas with his wife and two chil­dren. He nur­tures a strong dis­like for skunks. Oth­er jour­nals kind enough to pub­lish him are John­ny Amer­i­ca, Side of Grits, The Shine Jour­nal, and Grass­lands Review. He'd be hap­py if you take a gan­der at his blog, Ele­vate the Ordi­nary.

Posted in brad d. green, flinging themselves at light | Leave a comment