Blitz, fiction by Caroline Kepnes

It was snow­ing pret­ty hard and I was dri­ving with one eye open. Not anoth­er car in sight, I nev­er could under­stand how a per­son lives in a place where oth­er cars are up on you all the time. I like my space. I like oth­er peo­ple hav­ing their space too. I was so blitzed that I was prac­tic­ing, in my war­bled loud­er voice than the crack­ling of the rock on my radio, the speech I would give to the world about the enhanced safe­ty and inher­ent supe­ri­or­i­ty of one-eyed dri­ving. There I was, on nation­al tele­vi­sion, pros­e­ly­tiz­ing about a future where you didn’t so much as start a car with­out a patch on one eye. We’d be a nation of pirates, with­out haz­ard, per­fect dri­ving records for all! And then I made it into my park­ing spot. And then I man­aged my way out of the car. And then I found the keys. And then I made my way into the build­ing. And then smart me, I’d left the door unlocked, there­by sav­ing myself anoth­er war with the key­chain. Inside it smelled dif­fer­ent, like pinecones in a drug store. I fig­ured my nos­trils were just bent from too much time in the bar and I didn’t turn on a light. Light would be too much. I col­lapsed onto the couch, mur­mur­ing myself to sleep with the one-eyed dri­ving speech I’d by now per­fect­ed. In my dreams, my celebri­ty was instan­ta­neous, my pres­ence on the list of impor­tant thinkers of this cen­tu­ry a fore­gone conclusion.

Brett, not that I knew his name yet, screamed when he saw me lying there on his couch. His hair stood up like fur. You could tell he’s one of those guys only at ease when he’s got his gel in. He wore a bathrobe that revealed some­thing about him, a qual­i­ty that would get his ass kicked in the bar, a yearn­ing to be an old man, hunched in ter­rycloth. I was awake and cough­ing and I pegged him at thir­ty-four and I want­ed to ask him to close the blinds he was open­ing but I knew bet­ter. His girl came out next, wear­ing noth­ing but a t‑shirt, her hand on her throat and he had his arm around her right away. I liked them right off the bat, this young old man, this need­ful social work­er type gal.

Because they weren’t the kind of small brains who kicked me out and called the cops, I just start­ed talk­ing a blue streak, telling them about yes­ter­day at the din­er, the girls that stiffed me, the bar last night, the way my songs nev­er turned up on the juke box because some col­lege kids kept stuff­ing it with quar­ters, the way I drove home with the one eye. They laughed a lot and Brett asked what my songs were and then he dug up CDs and he played me my songs. Some­thing about being here with them did call up a low-lying sad­ness in me, as if some­how I was sup­posed to be telling this sto­ry at an AA meet­ing, as if some­how the world wasn’t doing me right, giv­ing me this kind and tol­er­ant cou­ple, my songs play­ing final­ly. I’d been drunk. I could have killed some­body. But my songs sound­ed good and Brett cooked up eggs and bacon and I fig­ured, maybe bad deeds bring good things. Brett and Shelly drank juice out of the same cup and it wasn’t like one was being nice to me to appease the other’s polite­ness. They both meant it, they were alike, kind, not like the trapped he-she com­bos I tend to at the diner.

The next day, I saw Brett in the mall with a dif­fer­ent gal, clear­ly his wife. I stopped short. He grabbed his kid’s hand and his face bleached out and the wife was study­ing some piece of shit jumper in the win­dow and he didn’t say any­thing to me. I don’t think I ever saw a per­son look so sad and now I got why he was in such a rush to be old. I kept walk­ing down the cor­ri­dor toward the food court, dazed, feel­ing as if sud­den­ly every­one in Amer­i­ca was speak­ing a new lan­guage for no rea­son at all and nobody would so much as teach me a word of it. So much for the future I’d been plan­ning on, so much for the way I had seen it all so clear­ly. Brett and Shelly, me and the no doubt won­der­ful man they’d set me up with, the four of us play­ing board games, suck­ing back cans of light beer, some­times in their apart­ment, some­times in mine down the hall, stum­bling home soft­ly buzzed or some­times crash­ing on each other’s couch­es, our inside joke about how we all met always good for a laugh. I’d felt so at peace when I arrived at the mall, hav­ing con­clud­ed that my con­demnable one-eyed dri­ve had been my lit­tle way of test­ing the gods, dar­ing them to give me some­thing good, some­thing to sober me.  And they had giv­en me kind­ness in the form of Brett and Shelly. And maybe, I had thought, this is how you bring good folks into your life. When you’re weak, you crawl into their house think­ing it’s yours and you lie there like a Christ­mas present that San­ta left in August, because San­ta was drunk, dri­ving with one eye open, his sleigh swerv­ing about, shiny wrapped pack­ages falling through the night into neigh­bor­hoods, onto gravel.

Car­o­line Kep­nes is a TV writer liv­ing in a Los Ange­les' Franklin Vil­lage, where it's all about roast­ed chick­en, used books, cin­na­mon cof­fee and late night hap­py hours. Her sto­ries have appeared in The Barcelona Review, Dogz­plot, Eclec­ti­ca, Eye­shot, Mon­key Bicy­cle, Word Riot and Thieves Jar­gon. In 2004, she won the Hem­ing­way Resource Center's Short Fic­tion Con­test. Her biog­ra­phy of Stephen Crane is avail­able on Ama­zon, though it is intend­ed for lit­tle chil­dren. She grew up on Cape Cod and start­ed out in New York, cov­er­ing boy bands for Tiger Beat.

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Frack Your Wells and Fuck Your Water

Why isn't any­one talk­ing about this? Or am I not look­ing in the right places? And by the way, duh.

Gas drilling in Appalachia yields a foul byproduct

Map shows the Mar­cel­lus Shale for­ma­tion in the East­ern U.S. (P. Prenga­man — AP)

By MARC LEVY and VICKI SMITH

The Asso­ci­at­ed Press
Tues­day, Feb­ru­ary 2, 2010; 2:40 PM

HARRISBURG, Pa. — A drilling tech­nique that is begin­ning to unlock stag­ger­ing quan­ti­ties of nat­ur­al gas under­neath Appalachia also yields a trou­bling byprod­uct: pow­er­ful­ly briny waste­water that can kill fish and give tap water a foul taste and odor.

With for­tunes, water qual­i­ty and cheap ener­gy hang­ing in the bal­ance, explo­ration com­pa­nies, sci­en­tists and entre­pre­neurs are scram­bling for an eco­nom­i­cal way to recy­cle the wastewater.

"Every­body and his broth­er is try­ing to come up with the 11 herbs and spices," said Nicholas DeMar­co, exec­u­tive direc­tor of the West Vir­ginia Oil and Nat­ur­al Gas Association.

Drilling crews across the coun­try have been flock­ing since late 2008 to the Mar­cel­lus Shale, a rock bed the size of Greece that lies about 6,000 feet beneath New York, Penn­syl­va­nia, West Vir­ginia and Ohio. Geol­o­gists say it could become the most pro­duc­tive nat­ur­al gas field in the U.S., capa­ble of sup­ply­ing the entire country's needs for up to two decades by some estimates.

Before that can hap­pen, the indus­try is real­iz­ing that it must solve the chal­lenge of what to do with its waste­water. As a result, the Mar­cel­lus Shale in on its way to being the nation's first gas field where drilling water is wide­ly reused.

The pol­lut­ed water comes from a drilling tech­nique known as hydraulic frac­tur­ing, or "frack­ing," in which mil­lions of gal­lons of water, sand and chem­i­cals are blast­ed into each well to frac­ture tight­ly com­pact­ed shale and release trapped nat­ur­al gas. Read more.

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2009 Million Writers Nominations

Good luck, chick­en scratchers.

Sto­ry 1: "Bent Coun­try" by Shel­don Lee Comp­ton https://​fried​chick​e​nand​cof​fee​.com/​2​0​0​9​/​0​6​/​3​0​/​b​e​n​t​-​c​o​u​n​t​r​y​-​b​y​-​s​h​e​l​d​o​n​-​l​e​e​-​c​o​m​p​t​on/

Sto­ry 2: "Jus­tice Boys" by Sheryl Monks https://​fried​chick​e​nand​cof​fee​.com/​2​0​0​9​/​0​7​/​2​4​/​j​u​s​t​i​c​e​-​b​o​y​s​-​b​y​-​s​h​e​r​y​l​-​m​o​n​ks/

Sto­ry 3: "Blind Lemon" by Jim Parks https://​fried​chick​e​nand​cof​fee​.com/​2​0​0​9​/​0​6​/​0​4​/​b​l​i​n​d​-​l​e​m​o​n​-​b​y​-​j​i​m​-​p​a​r​ks/

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The Glorious Fit, fiction by Ray Norsworthy

Novem­ber 1, 1961:

Gib­by is in the hayloft of the barn look­ing at the pages he tore out of the Sears and Roe­buck cat­a­logue. This morn­ing when he was look­ing at the Christ­mas toys and mak­ing a wish list, Eli showed him the pages of women wear­ing brassieres and panties. If you wet your fin­ger and rub, you can see what's under­neath, he said. The thought hadn't real­ly occurred to Gib­by before, but now he can't stand not know­ing what the pret­ty women look like naked, espe­cial­ly at that mys­te­ri­ous V where boys have some­thing to stick out and girls have some­thing to hide. It makes him feel almost like he has a fever, and kind of queasy inside, but not sick. He has caught glimpses of Arlene naked lots of times, but he has nev­er seen her down there. They all have to take baths in a tin wash­tub in the kitchen sur­round­ed by the dinette chairs. She has big tit­ties, but it makes him feel nasty to think of see­ing Arlene the way oth­er boys see her. Eli says all the senior high boys that ride the school bus talk about Arlene's titties.

Gib­by leans back on some bales of hay and peels down his britch­es over his ten­ny shoes. Then he pulls off his under­wear. His doo­dle snags and then pops free, wag­gling back and forth. It's as hard as he has ever seen it; even hard­er than when he wakes up in the morn­ing and has to pee real bad. The hay is itchy on his butt, so he lifts up and pulls his jeans up under­neath him.

Eli must have been play­ing a joke on him. When he licks his fin­ger and rubs between the legs of the women in the cat­a­logue all it does is smear and rub a hole in the page. Eli prob­a­bly tried it him­self in anoth­er cat­a­logue and knew it didn't work. Gib­by knows he shouldn't be squeez­ing his hard doo­dle and yank­ing on it, but it feels good and even though he wants to stop, he can't stop, he just can't stop. It's like some­thing inside is mak­ing him do it and he doesn't know why. Could it be the dev­il? His Sun­day school teacher, Broth­er Del­bert, said you shouldn't touch your pri­vates except when you're using the bath­room. He said if you do it might lead to temp­ta­tion.  He didn't say what the temp­ta­tion might be, but it sound­ed bad. Gib­by tried not to touch his doo­dle. He tried so hard.

But he knows Eli plays with his all the time. He puts his hand around it and goes up and down, up and down, real fast, like he's milk­ing a cow's teat. He does it almost every night. Last sum­mer some of Eli's friends came over after church to go fish­ing on the creek and instead of fish­ing they sat on the creek bank and played with their doo­dles for a long time while talk­ing about see­ing girls naked. Ron­nie Cal­houn even claimed he saw Arlene's panties on the school bus. Gib­by ran home and told Dad­dy and Arlene about their sin­ning against Jesus, but they didn't seem to care. Dad­dy was read­ing his bible; he kind of cough-laughed and told him not to wor­ry about it. Arlene was out­side swing­ing in the swing Dad­dy fixed up on the big oak tree, and singing "How Much is that Dog­gy in the Win­dow?" She just gig­gled and said, just wait a year or two and you will be doing the same thing. Gib­by said, oh, no, I won't! Jesus is watch­ing! It made Gib­by mad for her to think he would do some­thing Jesus didn't do, and he said so. How do you know Jesus didn't do it? she asked him, he was a man, wasn't he? Uh uh-h‑h, Gib­by said. He was just Jesus. Well, they hung him on the old rugged cross, she said. So I reck­on he felt things the same way a man does.

And now Gib­by is doing the thing he said Jesus didn't do, and he can't stop. He wants to stop, but he can't stop. His hand and arm are tired, but he can't stop. He tries think­ing of Jesus, but he can't stop try­ing to imag­ine what is under­neath these women's under­wear. How long does he have to keep this up before he is able to stop?

For some rea­son he isn't aware of, he gets into a crouch like a catch­er in base­ball and rais­es halfway up like he is going after a high pitch. The strain makes him feel dif­fer­ent. It reminds him of when he was in the first grade and he used to hang by his arms from the mon­key bars on the play­ground and strain to pull him­self up. He would get the most won­der­ful feel­ing all through his body. He would hang there with his arms bent until he couldn't hang any­more and then he would drop to the ground, feel­ing limp as a used washrag. Maybe the feel­ing he is feel­ing now will lead to the feel­ing he felt back then.

He low­ers his grip on his doo­dle so that he has more skin in his grasp. Then he length­ens the stroke and speeds up his hand. He feels like he is about to col­lapse when he feels the tin­gle he remem­bers from first grade start to spread through­out his body. It feels so good he wants it to last for­ev­er, a blessed wild­ness crawl­ing from some­where deep inside him and sud­den­ly he is hav­ing a glo­ri­ous fit and he clos­es his eyes and sur­ren­ders to it com­plete­ly, shud­der­ing, rejoic­ing, born again. He lets go a final drawn-out moan that sounds like it comes from some­one else, and col­laps­es back against the bales, shud­der­ing one last time.

After a few deep breaths, he rais­es his head from the itchy bale and looks down past his bunched-up shirt at the foun­tain of sal­va­tion he still holds in his hand. Lord have mer­cy, he says to him­self. He real­izes now he has acci­den­tal­ly dis­cov­ered a great secret that will change him for­ev­er. A few sec­onds lat­er his joy turns to dread when he lifts his hand and sees clear, sticky goo on the back of his hand and splat­tered on his shirt. He puts his hand up to his face and wipes some of the gooey stuff off his cheek. Lord have mer­cy, he says to him­self again, only this time he means the words.

Ter­ri­fied and pray­ing for for­give­ness, he tugs on his britch­es and runs back to the house, even though his legs are as wob­bly as Jell‑O. Eli is in the liv­ing room watch­ing car­toons, but if he asks him about it, he'll prob­a­bly make some­thing up or else make fun of him. Arlene is in the kitchen rolling out dough for bis­cuits. Even though he is embar­rassed, he is too scared to wait until Dad­dy gets home from help­ing Mr. Hess with a spring­ing heifer try­ing to give birth to a stuck calf. When he tells her that he was pee­ing when all of a sud­den he got this strange feel­ing and some sticky stuff came out of his doo­dle, her eyes get big and she cups her flour-cov­ered hand over her mouth.

— Is some­thing wrong with me? Gib­by says to her.

She nods, but he can tell she's not seri­ous. — There sure is, she says, wip­ing the flour on her face with the sleeve of her dress. — You're a boy. Besides that, you're just peachy. Don't try to tell me you were pee­ing, though. I know bet­ter than that. I've caught Eli a dozen times. I swear, I think he wants to be caught.

— I promise I won't ever do it again. I'll pray to Jesus to help me.

— Shush. You'll prob­a­bly be back at it this evenin'. Noth­in' to be ashamed of, but don't talk about it in your Sun­day school class, okay? All boys play with their thing.

— All of 'em?

— Sure 'nough.

— But what about this stuff? He holds out his hand.

— Yuk! Get that away from me, Gib­by. It's nat­ur­al, okay, but so is pee and I don't want that on me, either. When­ev­er you do that, clean up good. And don't go messin' with any lit­tle girls, cause that could be big trou­ble, you hear me?

— Uh huh. He sighs. — Arlene?

— Uh huh?

— What do girls do, you know, uh, you know, um, to get that feelin'?

Arlene's face turns red. — You'll find out one of these days. Now go on and play. I have to get din­ner ready. I think Dad­dy needs to have a talk with you, lit­tle brother.

While he stands there, try­ing to think of how to ask the ques­tion that is burn­ing a hole in his con­science, she lights the oven.  — Arlene, that was the best feel­in' I ever felt in my life. How come it's sup­posed to be a sin?

— I don't believe it is a sin, she says. — I wouldn't wor­ry about it. Just because some­body tells you some­thin' doesn't mean it's true; not even if it's Sun­day school teach­ers. Shoot, they do it, too. Like I said, you'll prob­a­bly be back at it by this evenin'. Just don't wear it out. She sniffs like she is about to sneeze and turns away, chang­ing the sub­ject. — Bout time to gath­er the eggs, Gib­by. Watch out for that rat snake.

Arlene is wrong. He doesn't wait until evening; he is back at it thir­ty min­utes lat­er. The sec­ond time is even bet­ter than the first, only this time the sticky stuff is whitish. Wob­bly legged, he goes to the chick­en­house and gath­ers the eggs. The snake is nowhere to be seen.

A. Ray Nor­swor­thy hides out in the Ida­ho moun­tains and runs with the wolves. His sto­ry col­lec­tion, Indi­a­homa: Sto­ries Of Blues And Bless­ings, is avail­able online at Ama­zon and Barnes & Noble.  His fic­tion has appeared in Eclec­ti­ca, Sto­ry­glos­sia, Night Train IIIZoetrope All-Sto­ry Extra, The Sto­ry Gar­den, and 12 Gauge. Read his inter­view in the Octo­ber, 2006 issue of Eclec­ti­ca and in the Jan­u­ary, 2006 issue, his sto­ry, All The Way To Grangeville, which was run­ner-up in the 2006 Mil­lion Writ­ers Award con­test. Besides Indi­a­homa, he has writ­ten two nov­els and a num­ber of plays and short sto­ries. The most recent nov­els are True Rev­e­la­tions: A Love Sto­ry of the Apoc­a­lypse, and Becom­ing One: An Exile from Dreamland.

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News Flash–Southern Appalachia is Hot Fictional Territory!

Who woul­da guessed?  This is from Bri­an Cook at Book Pub­lish­ing News. I wish I knew the orig­i­nal source.

"Books based on life in small town south­ern Appalachia sell like hot­cakes!" stat­ed one publicist.

Accord­ing to book sales data, from 1998-present, Amer­i­ca can't get enough sto­ries about small town life in South­ern Appalachia. Over twen­ty-five mil­lion books about life in the Appalachi­an moun­tain regions of Amer­i­ca have been sold in the last decade alone. "That's an incred­i­ble sta­tis­tic," said one indus­try spokesman, "I don't know of anoth­er region of the coun­try that can tout such sales figures."

Inter­est­ing­ly, this phe­nom­e­non isn't a recent devel­op­ment. For many years, life in South­ern Appalachia has been a favorite des­ti­na­tion for read­ers of all ages.

Read on.

It's strange. I have Google alerts set up for var­i­ous strange and not-so-strange search strings–one for 'Appalachia' alone– and this arti­cle wasn't list­ed among my dai­ly arti­cles, and there's no back-link­ing. So, be hap­py or inter­est­ed, yes, but don't believe it until you see a pri­ma­ry source.

New fic­tion from Ray Nor­swor­thy com­ing this after­noon or tonight.

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Rounder, non-fiction by Jennifer McGaha

I have tried many times before to write about my grandfather’s youngest broth­er, Bill, but I can nev­er get it quite right—how his mouth turns into that half grin before he curls his lips to one side and squirts tobac­co juice onto the ground, how he has that same slow way of speak­ing, that thick molasses tongue like my grand­fa­ther had, how he waits when you ask him some­thing, a pause so long that, just when you are ready to repeat your­self, he’s sud­den­ly answer­ing you, and, when he does, it is nev­er what you expect­ed.  It is inevitably wild­ly irreverent.

That Bill’s a liar,” my grand­fa­ther used to say.  “Don’t believe any­thing he says.”

Which I don’t, of course.  Every­one who knows Bill knows that he is full of fables and exag­ger­a­tions and half-truths, a man who blurts out what­ev­er comes to his mind just to get a reac­tion.  Just the oth­er day, he told me that a woman from a scoot­er chair sup­ply com­pa­ny had just called him try­ing to sell him a chair.

Hell, I don’t need one of those damn chairs!” Bill told her.  “All I need is a 19-year-old girl and a bot­tle of Viagra.”

Hell is one of my uncle’s favorite words.  When he uses it, it is not so much an exple­tive as it is a preg­nant pause.  Bill is full of con­tra­dic­tions and a few nuggets of wis­dom inter­spersed with a whole lot of non­sense.  Bill is at once a dot­ing grand­fa­ther who attend­ed every one of his grandson’s high school bas­ket­ball games and a guy who has run a batch of White Light­en­ing up from South Car­oli­na once or twice, a guy who rais­es pink peonies in his back­yard and a guy who real­ly wouldn’t mind sell­ing you a Per­co­cet, if you hap­pen to be in the mar­ket for one.  And, though he loves dogs more than just about any­one I know, Bill was the town dog catch­er for years.

This is my ear­li­est mem­o­ry of Bill: I am five or six years old, sit­ting on my grand­par­ents’ brown sofa.  My broth­er is beside me, and I am wear­ing my favorite paja­mas.  They are white with tiny red flow­ers all over them.  My bare feet are propped on the cof­fee table beside a jel­ly glass­es full of Trop­i­cana.  We are watch­ing The Flint­stones while my grand­moth­er cooks break­fast, and the smell of sausage seeps through the par­ti­tion sep­a­rat­ing the kitchen and liv­ing room.  My grand­fa­ther has already been out to water his gar­den, and now he is sit­ting in his reclin­er beside us.  He is wear­ing old gray work pants, a cream-col­ored but­ton-down shirt, and navy blue slip­pers, and he is sit­ting with one leg thrown over the arm of the chair.  One arm is tilt­ed over his head, and he rubs his hand back and forth over his shaved head.  It makes a tiny scratch­ing noise.  Sud­den­ly, we hear a rum­bling in the dis­tance, com­ing clos­er.  It rolls up Tram­mel and then down Lit­tle Oak Street.  My grand­fa­ther stops rub­bing his head and looks out the window.

Well, hell,” he says. “There’s old Bill.”

Hubert!” my grand­moth­er calls from the kitchen.  “Go outside!”

There is the hiss of raw eggs hit­ting the hot fry­ing pan as my grand­fa­ther heads for the base­ment door.  I run to my grand­par­ents’ bed­room.  From their win­dow, I see Bill’s white truck come to a stop in the dri­ve.  The truck belongs to the town, and it has black let­ter­ing on the driver’s side.  In the truck bed is a large box with a wire mesh front.  I try not to look, but it is like try­ing not to stare at someone’s wan­der­ing eye or hand­less arm. My eyes keep drift­ing back to the crate, search­ing for a glimpse of an ear or a tail.  Bill’s legs spill from the cab—long, lean legs in bag­gy overalls.

Bill was born 86 years ago on a snowy Feb­ru­ary day in the Sandy Mush com­mu­ni­ty of Bun­combe Coun­ty.  His fam­i­ly soon moved to Hay­wood Coun­ty, where his dad farmed and worked at the paper mill.  The youngest of sev­en chil­dren, Bill was always a mis­chie­vous kid.  He got into plen­ty of trou­ble but he always seemed to be able to talk his way out of it.

Bill mar­ried a local girl, a blue-eyed blonde named Mar­garet, whose father farmed and ran a pro­duce stand.  Bill and Mar­garet had raised their fam­i­ly on the thir­ty acres on New­found Gap that Margaret’s par­ents gave them.  Back then, the hills were full of cat­tle and hors­es.  Now, sev­er­al years after Margaret’s death, pink and pur­ple rhodo­den­drons cov­er the moun­tain­side as far as you can see.

One day last spring, my cousin, Gail, called my moth­er with news that Bill had been diag­nosed with a malig­nant tumor in his neck, a metas­ta­sis from the prostate can­cer the doc­tors dis­cov­ered over a year ago. I drove to his house, and as soon as my car came to a stop in the dri­ve, a hound dog began cir­cling my car and howl­ing.  A Bor­der Col­lie slunk through the rhodo­den­dron bush­es on the hill above us.

Bill has had dogs his whole life—multiple dogs at one time—hunting dogs, mainly—rough and wiry dogs that could, for the most part, with­stand coun­try life.  He has a spe­cial fond­ness for Jack Rus­sells and once gave me a pup­py from the lit­ter of his favorite one, a stocky, strong-willed dog he named Peanut.  Bill’s cur­rent favorite dog is the sleek, tri-col­ored hound he named Ham­mer.  Bill got Ham­mer for his grand­son to use as a hunt­ing dog, and when Ham­mer proved to be an inept hunter, Bill kept him any­way and loved him espe­cial­ly, like a par­ent dot­ing on a par­tic­u­lar­ly dull child.

Ham­mer hates me,” I com­plained as Bill stepped onto the front porch.

Bill was wear­ing over­alls over a flan­nel shirt.  His hair was shaved close to his head.

Aww, he don’t hate you,” he assured me, shoot­ing a stream of tobac­co through his teeth.

The dog raced toward me, howl­ing, turn­ing away at the last minute and dart­ing under a near­by bush.  I had promised my moth­er I wouldn’t men­tion the tumor unless Bill men­tioned it to me first, so we walked togeth­er through his yard, admir­ing the ros­es that he start­ed from a cut­ting some­one gave him forty years ago.

You know you don’t pull the bugs off those?” he asked me, pinch­ing a tight bud between his fin­gers. “If you do, they won’t bloom.”

There is a spring that runs down the moun­tain and spills into the gul­ley beneath the bank.  It was sud­den­ly so qui­et that I could hear the spring water hit­ting the rocks below.  I turned to look for Ham­mer, and he was slink­ing slow­ly toward me.  All quiv­ery mus­cles and wet nose, he crouched by my foot and sniffed my pants leg. Then he began yap­ping again.

That dog barked for five hours straight one night,” Bill said proud­ly.  “Lat­er, I found the neighbor’s cat dead at the foot of the hill.  I guess he killed it.”

Wow,” I said.

The doc­tor says I’ve got can­cer in my neck,” Bill told me sud­den­ly.  “Right here.”

He rubbed a spot just below his ear.

I sure hate to hear that, Bill,” I said.

Yep,” he said.

A shad­ow crossed the back lawn and dis­ap­peared over the bank—a red-tailed hawk.

Back in the house, Bill offered me a beer.  It was 11 a.m.  I told him I wasn’t much of a beer drinker, that I tend to pre­fer a good class of wine.

Did you ever try any of that North Car-lina wine?” he asked.

Now when peo­ple from around here—and I mean, peo­ple real­ly from around here—say “North Car­oli­na,” they often roll over the “o” like it doesn’t exist. “North Car-lina,” they say, which is how Bill says it.  Before I could fin­ish shak­ing my head, Bill was out of his reclin­er, head­ed to the kitchen to pour me a glass of Duplin Hat­teras Red. As I sipped from a juice glass, he held up the bot­tle and point­ed to the light­house on the label.

See?” he asked, as if the point could not be over­stat­ed.  “This is from North Car-lina.”

From the liv­ing room sofa, I watched Ham­mer sit­ting at the front door, his black, wet nose pressed to the glass, while Bill told me how sick he had got­ten from his pain med­i­cine the day before.

Hey, you want to see it?” Bill asked.

Sure,” I said.

Bill dis­ap­peared into a back room and returned with a yel­low pill bot­tle filled with Per­co­cet.  He hand­ed it to me.

That cost me $26, with Medicare and my insur­ance,” he said.  “How much do you think one of them pills costs?”

I read the label.  There were eighty pills in the bot­tle.  I men­tal­ly did the math and gave him an approx­i­mate answer.

Are you going to take the rest of these?” I asked.

Hell, no!” he said.  “Them things will kill you!”

Con­vers­ing with my uncle is like com­pet­ing in some grand word game with con­stant­ly evolv­ing para­me­ters.  Only Bill knows the rules.  But occa­sion­al­ly I take a stab at it, try to catch Bill off guard.

I’ll tell you what,” I offered.  “I’ll take them down and try to sell them on the street down there in Can­ton.  What­ev­er I make, we’ll split 50/50.”

Well,” he said, grin­ning slightly.

The next time I vis­it­ed, a cou­ple of weeks lat­er, I asked him if he had been tak­ing his medicine.

Hell, no,” he told me.  “I done moved that stuff.”

His pok­er face was flaw­less, per­fect­ly ren­dered from over eighty years of prac­tice.  Now, with­out pause or tran­si­tion, Bill was expound­ing on anoth­er of his favorite topics—how skim milk is a lead­ing cause of the dis­in­te­gra­tion of soci­ety as we now know it.

Shit, I won’t touch that stuff,” he said.

I men­tioned that I some­times drink it, not so much because I like it but because it has few­er calo­ries than reg­u­lar milk.  He leaned for­ward in his chair.

Hell­fire,” he said.  “I bet you 100 dol­lars I can drink one milk­shake a day and eat five can­dy bars every day for two weeks straight and not gain more than two pounds.”

I was about to con­sid­er tak­ing him up on it, but then I thought again of the mani­la fold­er lying on the chair on the porch.  Ear­li­er, Bill had brought it to me.

Here,” he said.  “Read that.”

The fold­er con­tained a series of MRI scans and a long report full of med­ical jar­gon, most of which I did not under­stand.  But I got the gist of it.

86-year-old male,” the report said, “hx of prostate cancer…one kidney…spot on lung…malignant lymph gland tumor…”

Bill watched my face while I read.  I care­ful­ly placed the papers back in the fold­er and returned it to him.  It was my turn to show my pok­er face.

I don’t know what all that means,” I said.

Which was true.  The oth­er truth was that, even faced with the hard facts, the evi­dence sup­port­ed by dark film­strips marred by omi­nous white spots, I still found it impos­si­ble to pic­ture Bill as sick or frail or even old.  In my eyes, he was—and would always be—a rene­gade, the moon­shine-drink­ing, over­all-wear­ing, dog-catch­ing James Dean of my youth.

Sev­er­al years ago, not long before my grand­fa­ther died, my son, a fourth grad­er, and I went to vis­it my grand­par­ents.  When I got there, my grand­fa­ther was sit­ting in his reclin­er, and Bill was sit­ting on the sofa next to him.  Even at age eighty, Bill was still rugged­ly hand­some, tall and slim, wear­ing blue jeans and a red L.L. Bean jack­et, his hair flecked only with spots of grey.

Look who’s here,” my grand­fa­ther said as I walked in.

Hey, there, Bill.  How are you?” I asked.

Why, you, dirty rat,” he said.

This was how Bill had greet­ed me ever since he gave me that Jack Rus­sell pup­py.  It was one of his favorite con­ver­sa­tion pieces, how he was going to take back the dog since I didn’t vis­it him often enough.

He was just ask­ing about you before you got here,” my grand­fa­ther told me.

He was?”

Yeah.  He said, ‘Where in the hell is that damn Jennifer?’”

Bill wiped a trick­le of tobac­co juice off the side of his mouth with the back of his hand and spit into the paper cup beside him.

How’s that dog I gave you?” he asked me.

He’s a great dog,” I assured him.  “My very favorite.”

What’d I tell you?” he asked.

Then turn­ing to my son who was sit­ting beside him, Bill said, “You look like a girl with that long hair.  You know that?  Just like a girl.”

My son smiled, shrugged his shoul­ders at me.

You know I’m almost eighty year old?” Bill asked me.

I can’t believe that,” I said.

Well, I am.”

I remem­ber like it was yes­ter­day the night when he was born,” my grand­fa­ther speaks up.  “It was Feb­ru­ary, and cold, with snow all over the ground.  My moth­er turned me and my broth­ers out of the house.  I wasn’t no more than sev­en, but we always had to leave when there was a birthin’ goin’ on.  We walked sev­er­al miles in that snow to our aunt’s house.”

He paused.

I still hold that against him,” he said, look­ing at me but point­ing to Bill.

As the men talked, I lis­tened hard to their voic­es, to that old moun­tain way of speak­ing, the slow, gen­tle flow of words, the long, cav­ernous paus­es.  Bill told us about his job at the local dry clean­ers, the lat­est “girl” he had been see­ing since his wife died, his grandson’s lat­est bas­ket­ball stats.

Is he tall?” I asked Bill of his grandson.

6’2”, and he’s only 15,” Bill said.

He’s like our dad­dy,” my grand­fa­ther said.

How tall was he?” I asked.

Bill said he was almost sev­en feet, that leg­end in town has it that one day a man actu­al­ly sprained his neck from look­ing up at their dad­dy for too long.  That man had to wear a neck brace for months after­ward, he said.

Was he real­ly that tall, Papaw?” I asked my grandfather.

Well, I tell you, Dad­dy looked just like that one there,” he said. “When you’re lookin’ at him, you’re a’lookin’ at Daddy.”

Bill stood and put his spit cup down, a sign that he was ready to leave.  My grand­fa­ther rose and head­ed toward the front door to walk him out.  Bill head­ed toward the base­ment door.

Where’re you goin’?” Bill asked.

Well…outside,” my grand­fa­ther said.  “Ain’t you leavin’?”

Yeah.  Do you wan­na go out the front?” Bill asked.

Well, no,” my grand­fa­ther said, “but I thought you might want to.”

Why in the world would I want to go out front?”

Well,” my grand­fa­ther said.  “You might fall goin’ down those stairs.”

Fall?  I might fall?  You’re the old man!  You might fall!”

Hell, I’m not gonna fall,” my grand­fa­ther said, still stand­ing by the front door.

Hell, I could tap dance down them stairs!” Bill said, shuf­fling his feet back and forth across the car­pet, then throw­ing one leg high in the air.

My grand­fa­ther slow­ly crossed the car­pet, then felt for the knob on the base­ment door.  He turned it, and togeth­er he and Bill descend­ed into the dark­ness below.

Jen­nifer McGaha's work has recent­ly appeared or is forth­com­ing in the North Car­oli­na Lit­er­ary Review, New South­ern­er, Wilder­ness House Lit­er­ary Review, Pis­gah Review, Moon­shine Review, Red Wheel­bar­row, Smoky Moun­tain Liv­ing Mag­a­zine, and an anthol­o­gy, Echoes across the Blue Ridge: Sto­ries, Essays and Poems by Writ­ers Liv­ing in and Inspired by the South­ern Appalachi­an Moun­tains.  Jen­nifer also serves as non­fic­tion edi­tor of the Pis­gah Review, a nation­al lit­er­ary mag­a­zine based at Bre­vard Col­lege in Bre­vard, North Carolina.

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Marcellus Shale and Natural Gas Drilling

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVNgwMGEObE&feature=player_embedded]

This series of videos tak­en in Col­orado tells me it's not just coal, either. In North­ern Appalachia now (where I grew up) there has been a boom–maybe even a mega-boom–in nat­ur­al gas drilling of the Mar­cel­lus Shale area, and par­tic­u­lar­ly in my two home coun­ties, Brad­ford and Tio­ga in Penn­syl­va­nia.  From what I under­stand, most home and land pur­chas­es gen­er­al­ly don't have an agree­ment about min­er­al rights. They're sold sep­a­rate­ly, so many of the folks liv­ing there are get­ting wells drilled on their prop­er­ty whether they like it or not, and those who are savvy enough to know this are buy­ing their min­er­al rights back and then, in a heinous lack of fore­thought, sell­ing them to the gas com­pa­nies. It's hard to argue when you have mon­ey in large sums just wait­ing for a sig­na­ture, but what about the drink­ing water and oth­er envi­ron­men­tal impact?

The hydro-frac­tur­ing process these gas com­pa­nies are using drills down to 8000 feet or so using water and assort­ed chem­i­cals whose impact on the sur­round­ing ground­wa­ter is large­ly unknown. Since the com­pa­nies don't have to observe the Clean Water act–why is that, again?–they sim­ply don't.

And look at the sheer num­ber of drilling per­mits issued here:

http://​php​.press​con​nects​.com/​p​a​w​e​l​l​s​/​p​a​w​e​l​l​s​.​php

This is a screen­shot of that map. That big pur­ple clus­ter in the mid­dle-left are the well per­mits issued for my home ter­ri­to­ry. Hell, the water we got from our well sucked grow­ing up any­way. It bub­bled fero­cious­ly, tast­ed like shit, and turned my clothes all kinds of funky col­ors. What's a few more tox­ic chem­i­cals whose effects no one knows?

I'm one of the Appalachi­an brain-drain kids. I left my home for grad school and the city, prob­a­bly for­ev­er, so I don't have a stake in this except that I spent the first 21 years of my life there, and 95% of my fam­i­ly live with­in fifty miles or less of these two coun­ties, and my pre­oc­cu­pa­tion with the place has fed my writ­ing life for twen­ty-odd years now. Noth­ing big. :-/

But I'm at a loss for what to do and how to help. I have to think more about this, so for­give me the scat­ter­shot approach, and watch the series of videos, and imag­ine it hap­pen­ing in a place you love.

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A Requirement for Respect

Self-explana­to­ry.

by Rebec­ca Gayle Howell.

Orig­i­nal­ly deliv­ered on behalf of Ken­tuck­ians For The Com­mon­wealth, at 21c Muse­um. Louisville, Ken­tucky. Decem­ber 06, 2009.

The peo­ple of East­ern Ken­tucky – West Vir­ginia, East Ten­nessee – have been treat­ed as the ‘Oth­er Amer­i­ca’ for more than a cen­tu­ry. From Lil Abn­er to Shel­by Lee Adams—from Charles Kuralt to Diane Sawyer— we cre­ate and prop­a­gate images of our own peo­ple that solic­it, at best, a pathos of tin pan pity, and at worst, no empa­thy, at all. Do we know them? Shift­less, con­niv­ing men. Des­per­ate women. Chil­dren too poor to eat any­thing but dirt. Our fever­ish faith in Cap­i­tal­ism requires a sto­ry, a para­ble for why Amer­i­cans who strug­gle are to be blamed for their own strife.

The Oth­er Amer­i­ca. The Hill­bil­ly. The Amer­i­can who – let’s say it out loud – deserves to suf­fer at the hands of glob­al cap­i­tal­ism because he is idle, and because his mind is so sim­ple, he can­not man­age com­plex work.

Or, to dri­ve home the point, the Amer­i­can who deserves to be exploit­ed, because he is too fool­ish to insist on a com­plex local econ­o­my, a net­work of indus­tries that might actu­al­ly sus­tain his community’s well­be­ing and growth.

Now, we find our­selves in the age of glob­al warm­ing. And, the wis­dom of hind­sight allows for some clar­i­ty: all the while that the car­toon­ist Capp was con­vinc­ing us of his Dog­patch, Ken­tucky, the coal indus­try was con­vinc­ing us it was the great provider, the only provider, of a way out of Dog­patch. Sears and Roe­buck cat­a­logues on the front porch. Gar­dens shriv­el­ing in the sun. Through­out Amer­i­ca, in Appalachia and beyond, we believed elec­tric­i­ty meant con­ve­nience meant civ­i­lized liv­ing meant dig­ni­ty, hope. But in Appalachia we made a sec­ond dan­ger­ous pact: a code­pen­den­cy with a sin­gle indus­try, an extrac­tion indus­try, that would become, dur­ing these same years, our only plan for eco­nom­ic progress—a sin­gle indus­try that would coin­ci­den­tal­ly become the lead­ing con­trib­u­tor to our cli­mate cri­sis. Our men were sent to work. Our women went to the pick­et lines. Our region became, unwit­ting­ly, the domes­tic front of what is now sure­ly a glob­al ener­gy war.

In this con­text, it is plain to see that the degen­er­a­tive imagery so often repeat­ed of our peo­ple is, in many ways, just bor­rowed. Bor­rowed from the colo­nial­ist imagery of Africans, bor­rowed and made to fit our white fear of white pover­ty. This is impor­tant, because this kind of pro­pa­gan­da is con­firmed in its abil­i­ty to teach us how to turn a blind eye, how to allow for peo­ple, once uni­fied and self-sus­tain­ing, to be divid­ed against them­selves so that their labor can more eas­i­ly be exploit­ed. It is an old machine. It has proven productive.

But our real prob­lem does not lie with out­siders. It lies with­in. My moth­er is from Per­ry Coun­ty, Gay’s Creek. But I was raised 30 min­utes away from here, in a smoke-filled kitchen, lis­ten­ing to my fam­i­ly den­i­grate them­selves. Cig­a­rettes to lips, telling sto­ries about how igno­rant the peo­ple in East­ern Ken­tucky were. They were ashamed of them­selves, of where they had come from, of what the world said it all meant. To be a Ken­tuck­ian is to be a self, divid­ed. In Louisville, we too often act as if we are annexed, a met­ro­pol­i­tan state all our own. In Lex­ing­ton, like we are the Ellis Island for those who man­age to make it out of the hills. This semes­ter, in More­head where I teach, one of my stu­dents explained to me that he under­stood moun­tain­top removal coal min­ing was hap­pen­ing, but that he, who had been born and raised in Rowan Coun­ty, was not Appalachi­an, so it didn’t affect him. We under­stand it is humil­i­at­ing to be asso­ci­at­ed with the stereo­types that go by our name. We under­stand it is humil­i­at­ing to be asso­ci­at­ed with wide­spread destruc­tion and oppres­sion. And so, we do dou­ble-time, all the time, to say, “yes, but that’s not me.”

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Coal Giant Massey Called Out for 12000 Pollution Violations

(Pho­to: U.S. Nation­al Archives, 1974)

All that coal comes with bag­gage and out­rage and few enough peo­ple seem to even know about it, let alone get their backs up about it.

Envi­ron­men­tal groups to sue Massey Ener­gy for ignor­ing thou­sands of vio­la­tions of the Clean Water Act and sur­face min­ing laws.

A coali­tion of envi­ron­men­tal groups has tak­en action against coal giant Massey Ener­gy for over 12,000 vio­la­tions of the Clean Water Act and sur­face min­ing laws asso­ci­at­ed with their min­ing activ­i­ty in West Virginia.

The groups, includ­ing the Sier­ra Club, Ohio Val­ley Envi­ron­men­tal Coali­tion, Coal Riv­er Moun­tain Watch, and the West Vir­ginia High­lands Con­ser­van­cy, claim that Massey vio­lat­ed its efflu­ent lim­its at its var­i­ous oper­a­tions at least 971 times, accru­ing 12,977 days of vio­la­tion between April 1, 2008 and March 31, 2009.

Massey and its sub­sidiaries oper­ate dozens of moun­tain­top removal and oth­er large-scale sur­face mines in Appalachia, using some of the more envi­ron­men­tal­ly destruc­tive types of min­ing, includ­ing moun­tain­top removal.

Massey has oper­at­ed out­side the law for far too long,” said Judy Bonds of Coal Riv­er Moun­tain Watch. “There is a his­to­ry here, not only of Massey ignor­ing the law, but of state offi­cials ignor­ing Massey’s violations.”

This is not the first time Massey has been in such bla­tant vio­la­tion of Fed­er­al statutes — includ­ing one of the largest slur­ry spills ever to take place in the Unit­ed States. And in 2008, the com­pa­ny was fined $20 mil­lion for Clean Water Act vio­la­tions, sim­i­lar to those cit­ed by the coali­tion. The com­plaint in that case (Unit­ed States v. Massey) alleged over 60,000 vio­la­tions over a six-year period.

For more info read Silas House and Jason Howard's book Something's Ris­ing, or just set up a Google alert for the word Appalachia, and be ready to spend con­sid­er­able time link­ing and surf­ing, every day.

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The Chickens, fiction by Jim Nichols

Arnold walked up the new­ly-plowed dirt road, feel­ing the brit­tle cold on his face, look­ing ahead at the cross­ing framed by high, clean snow banks. He knew that a week was prob­a­bly not long enough to stay away, but he was tired of wait­ing for the bus by him­self. His aunt would just have to live with it. He clumped in his rub­ber boots up to the tar road and crossed to the oth­er side. His cousins – snow­suits, red cheeks, plum­ing breath – watched him drop his paper bag beside their array of lunch box­es in the packed snow.

Julie, the nicest cousin, said, "Hi, Arnold."

Arnold said, "Hi."

Lin­da, the old­est cousin, stood atop the snow­bank with her hands on her hips. "I thought you weren't allowed up here any more," she said.

"It's a free country."

"It's pri­vate property."

"Not the road."

Arnold's cousin Mark climbed the snow­bank from the oth­er side and looked down at him with­out speak­ing. Arnold won­dered if he was still mad about their fight. He knew his aunt was: he could see her star­ing at him out the kitchen win­dow. As he watched she turned and spoke to some­one he couldn't see. Then Uncle Mike came out­side, dressed for work. He backed his car out of the dri­ve­way, drove for­ward and rolled down the pas­sen­ger win­dow. He had jet-black hair and a sharp nose, like Arnold's moth­er. Like Arnold, too. All the cousins looked more like their moth­er, with light brown hair.

"Arnold," Uncle Mike said, "I'm sur­prised to see you here."

Arnold shrugged his shoulders.

"It's only been a week," Uncle Mike said.

Arnold looked down at his boots, looked back up when his uncle said, "Well, what do you think, Mark? You being the injured par­ty and all."

"I don't care," Mark said. He raised a mit­ten, touched under his right eye.

Arnold wished now he hadn't socked him. But Mark shouldn't have said he was stu­pid, either.

"All right," Uncle Mike said. "But Arnold, you need to keep your hands to yourself. "

"Okay," Arnold said.

His uncle stared, like he was still think­ing it over. Final­ly he straight­ened behind the wheel and let the car idle toward the road. When it was even with the big snow bank he stuck his hand out the win­dow and waved over the roof of the car.

"Bye Dad­dy!" the cousins all cried.

The Ply­mouth turned onto the tar road, and the cousins walked out to watch, the legs of their snow­suits whis­per­ing togeth­er. Then Julie point­ed in the oppo­site direc­tion and yelled, "Bus com­ing!" and they hus­tled back, grab­bing their lunch­box­es and lin­ing up accord­ing to age. The bus came hiss­ing to a stop and Mrs. Har­ri­son lev­ered open the door. Arnold fol­lowed Mark up the steps and along the aisle toward the Hurd broth­ers, who lived down the tar road toward Route 1 and always got on first. Mark said, "Hey," to them and slid into the seat oppo­site. He didn't move over, so Arnold kept going and took the next seat.

The door fold­ed shut; the bus low-geared into a turn onto the dirt road. Arnold sat back, watch­ing Mark smile at the Hurds. Arnold called them the Turds, but Mark didn't think that was fun­ny any more. Mark liked them now. He'd even been invit­ed over to their house. Arnold still thought they were sissies, though. They had blond hair and long eye­lash­es. They wore gloves instead of mit­tens and were always read­ing books. Tim Hurd had his eyes glued to a book now, hold­ing it close to his face. His head nod­ded as the bus bumped down the dirt road, but he kept right on read­ing, snap­ping a page over.

Arnold leaned for­ward and said, "Whatcha reading?"

Tim Hurd briefly turned the cov­er toward him: Herb Kent, West Point Fullback.

"So you think you're gonna be a foot­ball play­er?" Arnold said.

"Not par­tic­u­lar­ly," Tim Hurd said.

"Not par­tic­u­lar­ly!" Arnold mim­ic­ked, with a look at Mark. But Mark just moved impa­tient­ly on the seat. Arnold reached out and poked Tim Hurd in the arm. "Tim­my Turd, West Point Full­back!" he said.

The bus rat­tled along.

Tim Hurd's broth­er turned and said, "Why don't you lay off him, Arnold?"

"Why don't you make me?" Arnold said.

Tom Hurd bounced around for­ward. He looked out the win­dow at the low lit­tle house set back from the road, where Arnold lived with his moth­er. As they drew clos­er he whis­pered some­thing to his broth­er, who took one hand off his book long enough to smoth­er a laugh.

"What's so fun­ny, Tom­my Turd?" Arnold said.

"Oh, noth­ing," Tom Hurd said, and at that both he and his broth­er laughed. Even worse, Mark was grin­ning, as if he knew what they were talk­ing about. It was prob­a­bly some­thing he'd told them, Arnold thought dark­ly. Mark knew every­thing about him.

"Spit it out," he told Tom Hurd.

"Watch out or I will," Tom Hurd said back.

"I dou­ble-dare you," Arnold said.

Tom Hurd turned and sat still, like he was hold­ing his breath. "Maybe we're chickens…"

"Shut up, Tom­my!" Mark said from across the aisle.

"…but at least we don't live in a chick­en coop!" Tom Hurd fin­ished, his eyes wide.

For a moment nobody moved. Then Arnold stood up and swung one fist after the oth­er, punch­ing down at the cow­er­ing boy, not stop­ping until Mrs. Har­ri­son jammed on the brakes, throw­ing him for­ward, then back­wards into the seat. He was all through any­way, and he just sat lis­ten­ing to Tom Hurd bawl until Mrs. Har­ri­son had him by the col­lar, drag­ging him up the aisle toward the front of the bus.

Mrs. Har­ri­son was strong for a lady.

"Sit!" she said when they got to the stairwell.

Arnold sat on the top step, in the slushy dirt from the kids' boots.

"Who start­ed this?" Mrs. Har­ri­son said, look­ing down the aisle.

"He punched Tom­my!" Tim Hurd said.

"Is that true?" Mrs. Har­ri­son demanded.

Arnold was afraid he'd start cry­ing if he answered.

"Tom­my Hurd said Arnold lived in a chick­en coop!" Julie said then.

"Is that true?" Mrs. Har­ri­son said.

"Yes, Mrs. Har­ri­son!" Tom Hurd said. "But he still start­ed it!"

Mrs. Har­ri­son put her hands on her hips while a few more kids gave their two cents' worth. Then she said, "All right, I'll take it from here. First, Arnold, we do not hit on Mabel Harrison's bus. Ever. Is that clear?"

"Yes," Arnold whis­pered, his throat tight.

"Sec­ond," Mrs. Har­ri­son said, "we do not mock someone's sta­tion in life, ever. Is that clear?"

The words sta­tion in life hit Arnold like a big, icy snow­ball in the gut.

"Yes, Mrs. Har­ri­son," the kids all said.

"Tom­my?"

"I'm sor­ry," Tom Hurd sobbed.

"I'll need a note from your moth­er," Mrs. Har­ri­son said. "Yours too, Arnold. And you can stay right where you are until we get to school." She looked at all the kids, then stepped past Arnold and took the driver's seat. Soon they were ram­bling down the dirt road again, stop­ping to pick up Daryl Hop­kins, Emi­ly Pru­den and the Phillips kids. They squeezed past Arnold and moved to their seats. When they sat down the whis­per­ing began as the oth­er kids filled them in.

Out­side, fat snowflakes began to fall.

The bus reached the turn­around at the end of Lam­bert Road and head­ed back. When they reached Arnold's house all the kids looked out the win­dow. Arnold looked too, through the long, smudged win­dows in the door. You couldn't real­ly tell that it had been a chick­en coop, he thought. Arnold's grand­fa­ther and uncle had ren­o­vat­ed it after Arnold's dad had left, adding win­dows and shin­gles and a door. It had been a brood­er coop any­way, not a real coop like the emp­ty two-sto­ry build­ing behind it.

Arnold could remem­ber when the big coop had still been full of chick­ens. He could remem­ber the nois­es the chick­ens made. He could even remem­ber his grand­fa­ther chop­ping their heads off on a stump, and how they ran around head­less, and how every­body jumped out of their way so as not to get splashed.

The bus moved on, and some of the kids turned their heads, kept looking.

Then they were back to the tar road and every­one faced forward.

Dur­ing recess Arnold thought he heard a kid say, “Chick­en coop,” and he clamped a head­lock on the kid and rubbed his face in the snow until Mrs. Elliot ran up and stopped it. For pun­ish­ment Arnold had to spend the after­noon in the Principal's office, sit­ting at a table in the cor­ner. He didn't mind that so much. It was bet­ter than being in class, with every­body whis­per­ing. But when Mrs. Kim­ball shut the door and sat down with him and start­ed going on about his fam­i­ly, he wished he was back in the class­room. Mrs. Kim­ball was too nice. She had a long, gray pony­tail that sat on her shoul­der like a lit­tle pet.

"It's not easy grow­ing up with­out a dad," she told Arnold.

"Uh-huh," Arnold said.

"But you still have to behave your­self," Mrs. Kim­ball said. "Oth­er­wise you're going to spend your whole life in and out of trou­ble, Arnold. That's not what you want, is it?"

"Nuh-uh," Arnold said.

She let the pony­tail slip through her fin­gers back onto her shoul­der. She kept talk­ing, and Arnold pre­tend­ed to lis­ten. But he couldn't real­ly lis­ten or it would make him cry because her voice was so kind and she kept try­ing to look into his eyes. He nod­ded and said, "Uh-huh," and thought about oth­er stuff. He thought some more about the big coop. It was qui­et and dusty, and you made echoes when you walked around. There were these round met­al bins where the chick­ens used to eat, and all these weird lit­tle met­al spec­ta­cles lying around that the chick­ens had worn. It was fun­ny about the spec­ta­cles. His grand­fa­ther had told him that if the chick­ens didn't wear them, they would start act­ing creepy. He'd been fol­low­ing his grand­fa­ther around while he worked on the brood­er coop, ask­ing him ques­tions. With­out the spec­ta­cles, his grand­fa­ther had said, the chick­ens would turn into killers. You wouldn't think chick­ens could be so mean. They'd pick one poor chick­en out and gang up on it. They'd chase it into a cor­ner and peck at it until it died.

Arnold shiv­ered and stopped think­ing about the chickens.

The Hurds weren't on the bus going home – their moth­er had picked them up – and Arnold felt like things were almost back to nor­mal. He even sat with Mark and invit­ed him to come over after they got off the bus. Mark didn't know about com­ing over, though.

"Mum prob­a­bly won't go for it," he said.

"We've got cof­fee cake," Arnold said. His moth­er had brought it home from the shoeshop. Cof­fee cake was some­thing Mark's fam­i­ly nev­er had, because Mark's moth­er didn't think it was good for you.

Mark thought it over. "I'll try and sneak out."

The bus pulled up at the cross­ing and Arnold got off at the cousins' house. He crossed the tar road and walked back and forth out of sight behind the snow bank. He knew Mark had to make it look good. His moth­er thought Arnold was a bad influ­ence. Once Arnold had let Mark shoot the .22 that his dad had left behind and she'd found out about it. They'd tak­en it out into the woods behind the big coop and had shot it at a pine tree for a half hour. It had a scope that made the trees look close. But Mr. Hamil­ton from down the road had come down into the woods and had tak­en the rifle away. He'd told Arnold's moth­er and Mark's moth­er and they'd had to sit through a lec­ture from Mark's father. After­ward Arnold's moth­er had hid­den the rifle, although it didn't take long for Arnold to find it in a dark cor­ner of her clos­et behind the dress­es and coats.

Mark final­ly came out­side. He pre­tend­ed to go down to the field behind their house, then cut through the bush­es and ran around the cor­ner of the cross­ing onto Lam­bert Road. Arnold fell into step with him and they scuffed down the road. It was get­ting dark already, but Arnold could see a car parked in the space next to the path to his house. It wasn't Mrs. Soule's Belair, though: his moth­er must have got­ten a ride with some­body else. This was a white Fal­con. Arnold knew his cars pret­ty well. He and Mark walked up and looked in the Falcon's win­dows. There were clothes fold­ed and stacked on the back seat and hang­ing from hang­ers in the back win­dows. An army duf­fle bag sat on the floor. Arnold tried not to believe that his father had come home.

They walked toward Arnold's house and the big two-sto­ry coop behind it.

"Whose car?" Mark said.

"Some­body that gave her a ride home."

Arnold opened the screen door. They went inside just as the cur­tain part­ed in the door­way across the room and a tall guy with a mus­tache ducked out. The man blushed and grinned. "Well, hel­lo there!" he said. "School's out, I take it?" He was shov­ing his shirt­tail into his pants.

Arnold's moth­er came out. "You had to lal­ly-gag, didn't you?"

"Whose fault was that?" the man said.

Arnold's moth­er gig­gled and raked a hand through her hair. "I guess you caught me, Arnold!" she said. "But you didn't have to bring com­pa­ny! How are you, Marcus?"

"Ok, Aunt Carolyn."

"How's things up at the plantation?"

"Okay." Mark looked at Arnold. "Maybe I'd bet­ter go."

Arnold shrugged as if he didn't care.

Mark turned his eyes toward the kitchen table and the cof­fee cake cov­ered by waxed paper.

"Can Mark take a piece of that?" Arnold asked.

"Why not?" Arnold's moth­er said.

Arnold took the waxed paper off, cut a piece of the cof­fee cake and hand­ed it to Mark. Mark said, "Thanks! See you lat­er, Arnold. See you, Aunt Car­olyn," and took off out the door. The door slammed and Arnold saw him run past the win­dow, stuff­ing the cof­fee cake into his mouth.

"I guess it's time for me to go, too," the man with the mus­tache said.

"Call me?" Arnold's moth­er said.

Arnold left them hug­ging in the kitchen cor­ner. He walked through the liv­ing room and part­ed the cur­tain to his bed­room. They didn't have doors to their rooms here in the good old Brood­er Coop. "Doors are expen­sive," he snarled out loud. He flopped on his bed with his hands behind his head. After a minute or two he heard his moth­er walk up and say from out­side the cur­tain: "Arnold, I'm going for a ride, hon­ey. You be good, have some cof­fee-cake your­self. I'll be back in a lit­tle while."

"Where are you going?” Arnold said.

"Just for a ride. Be good, now!"

Arnold heard the front door shut. He went to the win­dow and watched his moth­er run up the path and get into the Fal­con. The Fal­con backed onto Lam­bert Road and rolled up the road toward the cross­ing. When it was gone Arnold went through the cur­tain into the liv­ing room and down to his mother's room. He ducked under the cur­tain and took the .22 out of the lit­tle clos­et where she hung her dress­es and sweaters. Remem­ber­ing about it had made him want to shoot it again. He took it out­side and around the house to the big coop. He'd hide it out there. She'd nev­er even notice it was miss­ing. The big coop's door hung on one hinge and there was snow on the floor­boards. There was no glass in any of the win­dows. It was cold. He ran up the stairs, hid the .22 behind a feed­er near a cor­ner. Then he went back to the house. He took the rest of the cof­fee-cake over to the couch, turned on the TV.

Arnold was lying down in the dark when his moth­er came home. He said, "Hi!", but she didn't answer. She went heav­i­ly into her room and banged around. Then it was qui­et. Arnold thought he'd bet­ter leave her alone, but after an hour he got too hun­gry. It was way past sup­per time and his stom­ach was growl­ing. He tip­toed up to her cur­tain and lis­tened to her breathing.

"Mum?"

She went on snoring.

"Mum?" Arnold said again, and she smacked her lips stickily.

"Mum!" Arnold said. "Can we have supper?"

"Can't a per­son take a nap around here?" his moth­er slurred.

Arnold part­ed the cur­tain and looked in. "I'm hungry!"

She threw the cov­ers back, stum­bled out of bed and came after him, but she got tan­gled up in the cur­tain and fell. Arnold grabbed his jack­et off a kitchen chair and ran out­side. He wait­ed, but she didn't fol­low. He zipped his jack­et, stuffed his hands into the pock­ets and walked up toward the road, scuff­ing through an inch of new snow. When he got to the street­light he could see his breath in the air. It had stopped snow­ing and the stars were out: bright pin­pricks clus­tered above. A cold breeze blew past, peck­ing his cheeks and the tips of his ears. He wished he'd had a chance to grab his cap with the ear­muffs. Down the road to his left he could see the Phillips' house – that used to be his grandfather's before he died – all lit up. He looked the oth­er way, toward the cross­ing. The big house was all lit up, too. He could walk up there; he'd done it before when his moth­er was on the warpath. He even took a cou­ple of steps that way, pic­tur­ing the big, warm rooms, kids sprawled on the floors. But then he remem­bered his aunt was mad at him. She'd prob­a­bly slam the door in his face. He stopped and looked back at his lit­tle house – dark except for the light over the door – and, loom­ing behind it, the two-sto­ry coop. At least he could get out of the wind. He trot­ted back down the hill and ducked past the cock­eyed door into the big coop. It was still and cold and dark. He climbed the stairs, feel­ing his way, and walked out into the open room. He remem­bered the .22 and retrieved it from behind the tin feed­er and walked around the coop hold­ing it like a sol­dier. But then he scuffed some of the spec­ta­cles with his heel and that was creepy, it made him think about the chick­ens gang­ing up.

Arnold stood still in the dark, hold­ing the rifle. He backed into a cor­ner by a win­dow and knelt, turn­ing to look through the scope at the cross­ing. The street­light on the cor­ner jumped into view. Then a car cleared the woods on the right and he fol­lowed it across the field and past the cousins' house until it dis­ap­peared behind the bush­es on the left. You could only see the top of its roof behind the snow­banks. He swung the bar­rel back and saw his aunt move past the kitchen win­dow. She was out of sight, though, when the .22 went off. It didn't make very much noise. It almost seemed like noth­ing had hap­pened until the door opened and Arnold's uncle came out and looked around. When Arnold pulled the trig­ger again his uncle ran back inside.

Arnold turned and slid down to the floor. He lay the .22 down, hop­ing he hadn't hit any­one. He blew warm air on his hands. After a few min­utes he could hear a siren in the dis­tance. He was inter­est­ed to see what would hap­pen next. He didn't care what it was, just so some­body came and got him. It was freez­ing in the coop, and it was get­ting creepy again, too. He couldn't stop think­ing about the chick­ens. It was hard not to when you were sit­ting there alone. In the cold and dark, with the siren get­ting loud­er, he imag­ined a big gang of them, mov­ing around with­out their spec­ta­cles. He could pic­ture them scratch­ing from room to room, get­ting clos­er all the time.

(orig­i­nal­ly pub­lished in Zoetrope All-Sto­ry Extra)

jim nicholsJim Nichols lives on a lit­tle riv­er in War­ren, Maine with his wife Anne. He has pub­lished fic­tion in numer­ous mag­a­zines, includ­ing Esquire, Night Train, paris transcon­ti­nen­tal, Zoetrope All-Sto­ry Extra, Amer­i­can Fic­tion, The Clacka­mas Review, Riv­er City and Port­land Month­ly. He's a past win­ner of the Willamette Fic­tion Prize, and was award­ed an Inde­pen­dent Artist's Fel­low­ship by the Maine Arts Com­mis­sion. His col­lec­tion Slow Mon­keys and Oth­er Sto­ries was pub­lished by Carnegie Mel­lon Press.

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