Cheaha, fiction by A.M. Garner

THE MAN WHO LOANS TOOLS IS OUT. The hand-let­tered sign hung dead cen­ter of the rear wall of the cement block garage. Lendon Philpot—the man who didn’t loan out his tools—leaned over the motor of a red ’67 Ford Galax­ie, try­ing his best to loosen the rust­ed bolts on the red Ford’s water pump. Yel­low jack­et wasps buzzed his face every time he squirt­ed sol­vent on the stub­born parts before yank­ing his hands, arms, and tor­so in a gut-wrench­ing tug.

The group of men gath­ered near the red cold-drink machine either sat on mule ear chairs—homemade wood­en chairs with two back posts that curved out like mule’s ears—or  propped on wood­en Coca Cola crates set on end. They watched care­ful­ly and mar­veled, hard­ly able to believe Lendon wasn’t cursing.

Lendon’s done got religion.”

A Ford could cause a man to lose his salvation.”

A red Ford is Satan’s hand work.”

Lendon gave the wrench one last red-faced mon­u­men­tal tug.  His hand filmed with engine grease slipped, crash­ing his right hand knuck­les into a pro­trud­ing piece of met­al that cut a gash at the same time his body shift­ed in such a way that Lendon’s right cheek pressed on a yel­low jack­et.  It buried its stinger an inch from the cor­ner of his right eye, the cat­a­lyst for the show about to occur.

Son of a BITCH.”

This was more like it.  The mule ear chair gang set­tled in to watch. Lendon shot up out of his crouch over the motor and hit his head on the propped up hood. When he set­tled steady on his feet beside the car, he danced around like a man who had lost his mind and threw his wrench with such force it glanced the top edge of the Ford Galaxie’s wind­shield, spi­der­ing the glass.  Lendon removed the dead yel­low jack­et from his face with his right hand while rub­bing the top of his head with his left, all the while roil­ing out epi­thets so fierce that some of the men gath­ered around the cold drink machine cringed, one whis­per­ing “oh no, you shouldn’t say things like that about somebody’s mama, Lendon.”

Clyde Colvin—the mem­ber of the gang always giv­en the best mule ear chair not sim­ply because of his advanced age and role as leader and spokesman but main­ly because he was by far the best local boot­leg­ger in a dry county—summed it up best. “The dev­il is present and account­ed for this morning.”

A firestorm of com­men­tary erupt­ed from the mule ear chair gang who’d all had at least two cups of cof­fee from the per­co­later that sat on a small met­al cart beside Lendon’s desk and who were wait­ing to combust.

It’s sure hot as hell. August in Alaba­ma might be hell.”

Not exact­ly. The Bible describes hell as a lake of fire that will con­sume the flesh but not end exis­tence or eter­nal suffering.”

Pull them shoes off your feet and walk down that black top yon­der and see if you don’t think you’re being con­sumed by fire. Burnt, but not kilt.”

That don’t make no sense.  Only a fool would take his shoes off and walk down the hot pave­ment in August.”

Up on top of a hill is where you need to be when it’s this hot.  My ol’ grand­dad­dy said always build a house on a hill to catch the breeze.”

We need to be up on Chea­ha Mountain.”

Yessir.  You can catch some breezes up on Cheaha.”

Ain’t nev­er been to Chea­ha, have you, Clyde?”

Clyde paused before speak­ing.  Every man there fol­lowed the pause, wait­ing to see what Clyde would say. “Nev­er seen no need.”

Hell, man, it’s just over in the next coun­ty.  Not more’n thir­ty mile.”

All you have to do is go out Hollins Road and cut through that road by the Bap­tist church with the red winders.”

Naw you don’t. That ain’t the way.  Just go up town and turn right at the red light past the bank and go out that way to Clair­mont Springs.”

You boys couldn’t tell a blind man sit­ting on a toi­let how to find his rear.  There’s more than one bank up town.  And what if the light ain’t red?  What if it’s yeller or green? When then?  And besides, roads have numbers.”

Clyde, you still scared of heights?  That why you nev­er been to Chea­ha? I heard you won’t buy a new pick­up ‘cause the new ones sit too high off the ground.”

Every­one had a laugh over that, but Clyde didn’t answer.

A nice-look­ing young woman wear­ing a starched and ironed dress and with neat bobbed hair walked up and looked around, wide-eyed.  “I’m look­ing for Mr. Philpot,” she said.

Clyde Colvin stood like a gen­tle­man and nod­ded in the direc­tion of Lendon. “That would be him.”

When the young woman walked up to Lendon, he who had been curs­ing like the damned changed gears and smiled like a Sun­day school teacher, found a rag in his pock­et and wound it around his bleed­ing knuck­les.  “Yes ma’am. How can we help you?”

They could all tell just by look­ing at her she was a good coun­try girl, qui­et and the kind who spends hours at hard work tend­ing her gar­den, her chil­dren, and her own business.

My hus­band, Pete Boshell, he said for me to drop off his old truck.” She sound­ed like she was apologizing.

Lendon looked out in the shop yard and didn’t see any­one wait­ing with anoth­er vehi­cle as her ride, just Pete Boshell’s old blue cat­tle truck left where she had parked it.

You got a way to get home?”

No sir.  I’ll be walkin’. Ain’t but ‘bout a mile.”

Lendon turned to the men whose mouths were for the most part hang­ing open.  “How ‘bout one of y’all fetch the keys to my truck there”—he nod­ded in the direction—“and dri­ve Miz Boshell home. Too hot to be out walk­ing bare­head­ed, and I sus­pect Miz Boshell’s got plen­ty a work at home just wait­in’ on her.”

Lendon saw his port­ly cousin Hubert, one of the mule ear chair reg­u­lars, wob­ble out of his chair so fast he turned it over back­wards on his way to the peg board that held keys in the cor­ner that Lendon called his office.

Lendon con­tin­ued.  “Pete Boshell’s a hard-work­ing man.”

Every man there knew Pete Boshell was one of the locals who arose before dawn every morn­ing to tend what­ev­er cat­tle he had that sea­son on his few fenced ragged acres, eat break­fast, and be on the job up at the cot­ton mill in Syla­cau­ga for the sev­en AM shift.

Least we can do is keep his truck run­ning for him.”

Of course every man there also knew that it was Pete Boshell work­ing at Avon­dale Mills right over the coun­ty line that pro­vid­ed the mon­ey to pay Lendon Philpot, who was not in the busi­ness of hand­outs unless it was that time the school bus broke down right in front of his shop and he gave all the kids free cokes and snacks from his Lance cook­ie jar, which was a dif­fer­ent sto­ry alto­geth­er. Lendon hat­ed to see a preach­er com­ing is what he told the mule ear gang. Espe­cial­ly Bap­tist preach­ers. They always thought you should do their work for free and expect noth­ing more than a prayer in return. Mon­ey was always hard to come by in Coosa Coun­ty.  You had to bring mon­ey into the coun­ty, not the oth­er way around.

Lendon believed in hard work, keep­ing mov­ing, lin­ing up the jobs and the day’s work.  That’s how a man got ahead in the world.  A few years back he’d had four bays in his shop, but it was too much to jug­gle, hav­ing three mechan­ics besides him­self on pay­roll and the shop yard lined with so many cars need­ing repair that it looked like a used car lot. Plus, with all those cars parked around all the time, some rumored he was boot­leg­ging. And when he had to dri­ve the five miles up town to pick up parts in his pick­up, upon his return he found no work at all had been done.  So he’d closed up the two back bays, parked his tow truck in one, and kept the one mechan­ic Bil­ly Banks who worked slow but steady and could rebuild a trans­mis­sion bet­ter than new.  And Lendon set to giv­ing respon­si­bil­i­ties to the chang­ing brigade who sat around in the mule ear chairs, nev­er doing any­thing but watch­ing him work, swap­ping lies about cars and fish­ing, and wait­ing to see if Lendon would pitch a con­nip­tion fit or join them.  He did join them about four every after­noon when the men all bought short cokes in thick glass bot­tles from the machine that still just charged a dime. The cokes were just to chase the swigs of whiskey each man took from what­ev­er bot­tle Lendon Philpot had stashed in the bot­tom right draw­er of his desk. They would pour the neck out and fill it up with the fla­vor whiskey of the day. Thanks to Clyde Colvin. And no one knew exact­ly where Clyde got his stash, though many—including state law enforcement—had sur­mised. Local law enforce­ment didn’t have to sur­mise since Clyde was pay­ing them off to let him know when state or fed­er­al law might show up.

But it was just mid­morn­ing, a long time until four p.m.  The day was already so hot the heat shim­mered off the black top on the high­way out front, and burn­ing sweat rolled into Lendon’s eyes.

Lendon was in pain but attacked the Ford again, this time with more focus, as if sheer human will could tame it.  The Ford had been noth­ing but prob­lems. When Bil­ly Banks changed the oil in the red Ford and the oil plug was stuck, he’d stripped it as he forced it out.  Then there was an elec­tri­cal short in the starter that had plagued the car for months.  Lendon had replaced the starter twice and had checked for oth­er shorts in the wiring. Each time it appeared he’d fixed the car.  But when the owner’s wife drove the red Ford to the gro­cery store and bought ice cream, the starter had anoth­er spell, strand­ing her with melt­ing ice cream in a hot park­ing lot.  Lendon began to think of the red Ford as an epilep­tic whose attacks were unpre­dictable.  And now this episode with the water pump.  Plus when Bil­ly Banks had sat in the driver’s seat of the red Ford to dri­ve the car into the bay, a screw­driv­er he for­got he put in his hip pock­et punched a hole in the uphol­stery and ripped it a cou­ple of inch­es.  Lendon was back under the hood, wrestling with the water pump, the mule ear chair gang watch­ing and tak­ing turns narrating.

I wouldn’t have no ’67 Ford Galax­ie if some­body give me one.”

Cars got­ta be sexy now.  It’s all about the Mus­tang, all right.”

Espe­cial­ly a red Ford Galax­ie.  They’s the worst kind. Wouldn’t have one.”

Half them Fords these days turn into great big fire­balls in a wreck.  Like them Pin­tos.  Death traps on wheels.  That Cor­ley gal over near Clan­ton and her lit­tle sis­ter burned up in one of them Pin­tos.  Wasn’t their fault.  Hit from behind.”

I wouldn’t let my dog dri­ve no Pinto”

Since when did your dog start dri­ving, Charlie?”

Just give me a good Chiv­o­let, anytime.”

Yessir.  A good Chivolet.”

Gen­er­al Motors.”

Yessir.  GM.  All the way.”

The mule ear gang was bet­ter than a cho­rus, singing Lendon’s own sen­ti­ments back to him as sweat dropped from his brow onto the Ford’s dusty motor.  By the time Lendon had the old part off and the new part on, he was red-faced and his eye had swollen close to shut.

Back it out, Bil­ly,” Lendon called.

Bil­ly Banks wiped his hands with a clean rag and crawled into the driver’s seat of the red Ford once again.

Lendon went over to the water cool­er and drank his fill, the cho­rus call­ing to him.

Hey, Lendon, come over here and let Char­lie here look at that eye for you.”

You know I was a medic in the army.”

Wet tobacco’ll take that sting out.”

I don’t believe nobody would want none of that chew out’n your mouth.”

Take that Prince Albert can in your pock­et and drib­ble some water on a wad —let it get good and wet—then put that wad up against the stung place and tie a hand­ker­chief over it.”

Well, now, hold on.  I heard you take kerosene and sprin­kle that on some clean Prince Albert and tie that on the stung place with a clean handkerchief.”

That don’t make no sense at all.  The yel­low jack­et stung him up side the eye.  You want me to blind­fold him?”

Course I ain’t sayin’ blind­fold him. How can a man walk around—even in his own shop—if  he’s blindfolded?”

About that time Lendon heard a loud sick­en­ing sound of met­al crash­ing into met­al and turned, expect­ing to find that some poor unsus­pect­ing soul had slowed down on the high­way to turn into the grav­el yard of Lendon’s place of busi­ness and been hit from behind by a speed­ing tractor/trailer, its dri­ver hell­bent on mak­ing his load to Mont­gomery on sched­ule. Instead, what he saw was Bil­ly Banks at the wheel of the red Ford with his face mov­ing in rapid sequence through five emotions—surprise/disbelief/outrage/anger/fear.  The rear end of the red Ford sat mashed into the side of Pete Boshell’s old blue cat­tle truck.  Even from this view, Lendon could tell the red Ford had more dam­age than just a bro­ken tail­light. The rise of the trunk lid was now at an angle more like that of a chopped off race car, only crooked.

Bil­ly Banks stum­bled out of the car.  “I swear I had my foot on the brake, Lendon.  I swear.  I took it off the gas and put it on the brake.  It was like the car was pos­sessed or some­thing.  I couldn’t stop it.  It was like it had a mind of its own.”

Clyde Colvin was stand­ing right beside Lendon now, his hand on Lendon’s shoul­der, help­ing Lendon sur­vey the dam­age.  “Well one thing’s for sure,” Clyde said.

What’s that?”

Pete Boshell’s truck sure as hell stopped it.”

 

* * * * * *

 

Paint’s going bad any­way.  Hood’s already turned pink.”  Clyde Colvin, try­ing to hold up his end of a one-sided con­ver­sa­tion, sat behind the steer­ing wheel of Lendon Philpot’s truck.  Lendon sat with his right arm perched in the open win­dow, star­ing ahead and occa­sion­al­ly offer­ing one word answers.  Between them on the seat, a brown paper bag held pot­ted meat, sar­dines, Saltine crack­ers, and a bot­tle of hot sauce Clyde had stopped and picked up from the store down the road from Lendon’s shop.

Not even a real air con­di­tion­er they’re run­ning in that thing.  It’s a after­mar­ket.  And them kind don’t nev­er work too well.  Or last too long.”

After Bil­ly Banks had backed the red Ford into the side of Pete Boshell’s cat­tle truck, the mule ear chair gallery had wait­ed for the fire­works show that was sure to fol­low.  Talk halt­ed and all eyes and ears were on Lendon.

But Lendon had not chewed out Bil­ly Banks or fired him on the spot or thrown wrench­es or turned even red­der in the face than he already was. He had not launched into his usu­al cre­ative spon­ta­neous recita­tion of curs­es invent­ed on the spot to fit the cir­cum­stances, curs­es so rich in imagery and rhetoric as to awe those whose ears were already accus­tomed on Sun­days to hear­ing the very best preach­ers describe sin­ners in the lake-of-fire hell in the hands of an angry God in such a histri­on­ic man­ner as to bring even the most stub­born-willed sin­ners to their knees.  Lendon was more enter­tain­ing than a preach­er and didn’t even pass the plate for an offer­ing. The mule ear chair gang hung in sus­pend­ed motion await­ing the show of shows.  But no. Lendon sim­ply turned from where he and Clyde sur­veyed the crushed rear end of the red Ford Galax­ie, went to the tiny sink in the bath­room at the back of the garage, poured kerosene onto his hands from a coke bot­tle sit­ting in the cor­ner, and pro­ceed­ed to lath­er up his hands thor­ough­ly with Gojo and rinse them before tak­ing out his pock­et knife to clean under his fin­ger nails.  Then he walked right past the mule ear chair gang as he dried his hands with a clean shop rag, walked to the oak office chair beside the desk in his office, sat down, and began shuf­fling papers.

The gang looked at each oth­er and made them­selves busy whit­tling, rolling cig­a­rettes, clean­ing out a pipe with a pock­et knife, inspect­ing the freck­les on the backs of their hands, one tak­ing a comb out of a pock­et and smooth­ing his hair.

Bil­ly Banks shuf­fled over from the work bench where he’d returned after back­ing the red Ford into the truck to stand in the framed two by fours that passed for Lendon’s door­way, as if offer­ing him­self as a sacrifice.

Lendon had not even looked up at Bil­ly Banks.

Lendon’s pat­tern was not to sit at his desk in the mid­dle of the day.  Even at the close of the day when he went into his office to retrieve the whiskey bot­tle du jour from the desk draw­er, he didn’t sit down for long.  Now he sat .  He looked at the big stack of billing tickets—money peo­ple owed him—he kept speared onto a tall steel spike anchored by a heavy iron plate bot­tom that sat on his desk­top.  He had tak­en off the entire stack and stud­ied each one indi­vid­u­al­ly, as if check­ing his math before stab­bing it back onto the steel spike. This had gone on for a good twen­ty minutes.

At that point, Clyde Colvin had tak­en his cap off the back of the mule ear chair he sat in,  perched the cap on his head in the jaun­ty angle he wore it, and stood in Lendon’s door.  He opened up his pock­et watch and looked at it.

C’mon, Lendon.  Time to go up town to the parts houses.”

Lendon looked up at Clyde and then back down at the stack of tick­ets in his hands for a while before he took the entire stack and pushed them back onto the spike and retrieved his own cap from the peg board and fol­lowed Clyde out a front bay door to Lendon’s blue Chevro­let pick up.

Clyde spoke up.  “Key’s in it.  Guess I’ll dri­ve if it’s alright with you.”

Lendon had not said a word, just opened the pas­sen­ger door and sat down on the pas­sen­ger side of the bench seat on which he had rid­den maybe a total of twice in the his­to­ry of the 142,000 unal­tered miles on the odometer.

So Clyde had stopped at the store, bought the sup­plies, and head­ed north, dri­ving right past the parts hous­es and right on by the bank and the city hall and turned right and head­ed out the oth­er side of town where the city lim­its end­ed and the bound­aries of the nation­al for­est began.  Since they now drove through copses of tall trees, the air blow­ing through the but­ter­fly win­dow vents of the pick­up was not exact­ly grow­ing cool­er, but the shade offered relief from the August sun of a cloud­less sky, and Clyde had start­ed talk­ing and kept right on doing so, though he was get­ting lit­tle response oth­er than an occa­sion­al grunt from Lendon.

I know for a fact that the driver’s side win­dow in that Ford quit work­ing about six months so that ever time it rains the seat gets wet. When the sun bakes it dry, it just rots the whole thing.  So Billy’s screw­driv­er might not even been what split that seat.  And have you heard them brakes?  They squeal like a stuck hog.”

Clyde con­tin­ued.  “Now the front wind­shield being broke, that part is your fault all right.” Clyde looked over at Lendon. “Oth­er than a few road chips, that glass was sound as a dol­lar until you took that wrench and slung it.  Nobody’s sayin’ you meant to break it, but you know what I mean.”

Clyde kept right on talk­ing as he guid­ed the truck through the turns and curves, dri­ving by the old springs where the folks with mon­ey used to come stay at the old hotel and take the baths for what­ev­er ailed them, then dri­ving right on up the side of the moun­tain.  They passed fields aban­doned so long with no one to bush hog that the saplings had tak­en over.  They passed fields plant­ed in straight rows of pine for pulp­wood.  But most­ly they were in deep for­est that in places offered a total canopy for the tun­nel the road made.  Soon they had climbed enough to feel the first cool breeze.

Lendon seemed to come out of his trance. “Where the hell you going, Clyde?”

I guess where I’m going with this is that Bil­ly Banks don’t need to get fired over a red Ford.  That car’s been jinxed since it came off the line in Detroit, for one thing.  And for anoth­er, nobody’s ever done much to take care of it.”

Lendon seemed tak­en aback by the thought. “I’m not about to fire Bil­ly Banks.  He’s got a fam­i­ly.  And besides, he makes me mon­ey. What I mean is right here and right now.  In this truck.  Where the hell you takin’ me?”

We’re rid­ing to the top of Chea­ha.  To catch us a cool breeze.”

Lendon seemed to take this in.  “But you’re afraid of heights, Clyde.”

I ain’t plan­ning on lookin’.  And besides,” Clyde reached under the seat and pulled out a flat pint bot­tle and put it on the seat and then anoth­er, “I brought along a lit­tle some­thin’ to ease the pain of the view.”

So they kept climb­ing in the old straight shift truck with their arms perched in the win­dows to catch the breeze, fol­low­ing the CCC road clear to the rock tow­er the CCCs built on the top and then found a squat oak tree with dense shade across the road from the tow­er where they parked and hitched the tail gate flat and fash­ioned a kind of pic­nic out of the sar­dines and crack­ers and pot­ted meat which they ate with their pock­et knives and made a big show of hav­ing two lit­tle Coca Cola bot­tles promi­nent­ly dis­played in case a ranger hap­pened by.  Clyde had put one pint bot­tle back under the seat and kept the oth­er stashed in the front of his over­alls, one gal­lus left loose, and after they fin­ished the food, they threw the debris in an old oil drum left there for that exact pur­pose, holes punched in the met­al near the bot­tom so that the rain­wa­ter would drain and mos­qui­toes couldn’t breed.  And when Lendon said he might as well climb up to the top of that tow­er, since they were there, and have a look see, Clyde replied that he believed he’d just sit there in the truck and pol­ish off what was left in the first pint, if it was all the same to Lendon.

When Lendon got back into the truck and Clyde had backed the truck out from under the tree and they sat at the edge of the pave­ment once again, Lendon point­ed to a turnoff a hun­dred yards away.

Let’s dri­ve over there and check it out.”  As they drove out the grav­el lane, it was plain to see that this was where the real view was, the sheer drop off that made the moun­tain seem like the tallest thing in the whole South, any­one would imag­ine, the val­ley below stretched out in a faint blue haze with lit­tle roads like strips of string and a shiny lake and mov­ing cars look­ing some­thing like red bugs look crawl­ing up your arm.   Clyde drove slow­er and slow­er and had almost shut his eyes until Lendon had him pull over at a wide place in the road and had him get out and come around and stand with him with the hood of the truck between them and the drop off.  Lendon had Clyde place his hands on the hood to hold on to and start­ed point­ing things out to Clyde, the roads/lake/tiny cars.  A lit­tle band of clouds had appeared in all that blue sky, and in the far dis­tance they could see a gray thun­der­head like a child’s fist and Clyde asked him reck­on where that was and Lendon said Indi­ana for all he knew.

Back out at the CCC road, they did not go back the way they had come and instead took the road that seemed to drop off the moun­tain, the rest of the world laid out before them like a green rug just wait­ing for them to roll off the moun­tain onto it. Clyde closed one eye and held the truck between the ditch­es while Lendon talked about Pat­sy Cline and Cow­boy Copas and Hawk­shaw Hawkins all dying in that plane crash and that he didn’t think it was on a moun­tain like Chea­ha, where there had been more than one plane crash, but that still it was not too far away where the plane car­ry­ing Pat­sy had gone down, and one day he and Clyde might just dri­ve up to Cam­den, Ten­nessee, and check it out, all the while Clyde hold­ing firm­ly onto the steer­ing wheel with both hands.  As they neared the bot­tom of the moun­tain, a man on a motor­cy­cle swerved around the truck and leaned into the next curve before mov­ing on beyond their sight, the only oth­er soul they had seen.

Now that’s one crazy feller.”

Lendon smiled just a bit. “I rode a motor­cy­cle in ’42 before they sent me over­seas. I thought I would get to do that all the rest of my life.  Wear a leather jack­et and a shiny pair of boots.”

We all used to be some­thing or oth­er.  Just none of us knowed what we’d end up being.”

At the bot­tom of the moun­tain, Clyde opened both eyes for the first time and reached under the seat for the sec­ond pint bottle.

*******

 

When Lendon and Clyde returned, every­thing was as before.  The rear of the red Ford Galax­ie still sat crushed into the side of the stur­dy met­al frame of the bed of blue cat­tle truck, which seemed rel­a­tive­ly unharmed. The two front bay doors of the shop stood open wide, and in front of the coke machine sat the same cir­cle of men, two or three mem­bers of whom had left but oth­ers had appeared to take their places so that the tableaux remained unal­tered.  When Lendon and Clyde walked inside, Bil­ly Banks hov­ered over the trans­mis­sion on his work bench. The gang seemed relieved to see them.  They had all enter­tained them­selves spec­u­lat­ing about wild women, whiskey, alco­hol con­trol agents, and fatal car crash­es, none of which was reflect­ed in their cur­rent comments.

We’d about done give up on y’all.”

Was it a flat tire, Lendon?  I said it was a flat tire.”

Bil­ly yon­der said the parts truck with today’s ship­ment was pro­l­ly late.”

Yeah, that’s what Bil­ly said.”

A man smok­ing a hand-rolled cig­a­rette got up out of the best mule ear chair in order to give Clyde some­where to sit.

The gang was so busy telling Clyde what all had gone on while the two men were gone that no one seemed to notice Lendon take a gray met­al gas can with him when he went out to dri­ve the red Ford over to the edge of the shop yard and lift the hood or even saw him walk back in and replace the can on the shelf, much less watched him walk back out to the car, roll a cig­a­rette and light it before flick­ing the match in the direc­tion of the red Ford.  They did not even see the first flash of flame, but all turned at once when the gas tank explod­ed like a thing that had flirt­ed flame with petro­le­um all its life final­ly to have gone too far.

Next day when the insur­ance claims man out of Birm­ing­ham showed up with his check­book, the gang sat anx­ious to answer his ques­tions.  First he had talked to Lendon.  And now he ques­tioned the mule ear gang. And he had had many ques­tions, maybe ten min­utes worth of ques­tions so far.

So let me get this straight.  Was Mr. Philpot with the car when it explod­ed?  Was he sit­ting in it? Stand­ing beside it? In front of it? Behind it?”

He had been in it.”

He had been beside it.”

And in front of it.”

I’d say he’d also been behind it.  Wouldn’t you fellers agree that he had also been behind it?”

Every­one agreed.

The insur­ance man seemed amused.

What did it appear Mr. Philpot was doing in all those places?”

They all looked at the insur­ance man for a while before some­body spoke slow­ly, like explain­ing some­thing to a child.

Well, this here is a garage, sir. Peo­ple bring their cars here when some­thing is broke on ‘em.  Lendon fix­es cars for a liv­ing. He walks all around ‘em and crawls all over ‘em all day long.”

The insur­ance man was not fazed.

So Mr. Philpot was sit­ting in the car when it first began to burn?”

The gang looked at each oth­er, some over their glass­es. This fool out of Birm­ing­ham appar­ent­ly thought a man could be sit­ting in a red Ford while it explod­ed and live to tell about it.

Nawsir.  He had been sit­ting in it.  But he weren’t sit­ting in it when it burnt up.”

Could any of you tell me why that car sud­den­ly explod­ed.  Oth­er than the fact that it was a hot day in August.”

Well that one’s easy to answer.  Didn’t have noth­in’ to do with how hot it was. Them Fords is bad to burn when they wrecked from behind.  Them Cor­ley sis­ters over near Clan­ton, they burnt to death in a Ford wrecked from behind.”

Sure did.  Two lit­tle gals not doing one thang wrong.  Just dri­ving down the road.  Then some­body just bumped ‘em from behind and that Ford turned into a fireball.”

A death trap.”

A fire­ball death trap.”

Just lucky we were all sit­tin’ here next to this Coke machine or else no telling what would of hap­pened to us.”

I was a medic dur­ing the war, and I can tell you that it would not have been a pret­ty sight.”

Had it been a Chiv­o­let, damned thing would still be here today.”

Pete Boshell’s truck there is a GMC and you don’t see much wrong with it, now do you?”

The insur­ance man went out to his car in the hot sun­light and sat for a minute before com­ing back in and hand­ing Lendon a check. “You’re very for­tu­nate, Mr. Philpot, to have had the pres­ence of mind to dri­ve that car to the edge of your prop­er­ty before it just hap­pened to have burst into flames, as luck would have it.”

The gang lis­tened to hear what Lendon’s reply would be.

Damned straight,” Lendon said. “If it had been inside this shop, your com­pa­ny would be pay­ing for a hell of a lot more than one red Ford.”  Lendon slow­ly looked around and let his gaze linger on his build­ing, the cars inside, all his equip­ment, his tow truck and his weld­ing truck.   He let that sink in real good before he looked the man dead in the eye, shook his hand, and took the check.

Of course, the gang told this tale for years, embell­ish­ing the size of the red Ford’s fire­ball on occa­sion.  In some ver­sions, Lendon bare­ly made it out of the car before it explod­ed, the hair on his head still smok­ing as he ran back inside the garage. In oth­er ver­sions, Lendon was back inside the garage and drink­ing a Coca Cola with them when they all saw the red Ford sud­den­ly burst into flames.

Only some months lat­er did Bil­ly Banks remem­ber to ask where Lendon and Clyde had been that day, before the red Ford Galax­ie explod­ed into anoth­er world. It was almost 6 pm, almost clos­ing time, and Clyde had brought his own bot­tle with him to sup­ple­ment the usu­al swigs.

Chea­ha,” Clyde replied.

The gang had a good chuck­le over that.

Naw, we’re seri­ous. Real­ly, Lendon.  What kept y’all so long?”

Like Clyde said. He drove me up to Chea­ha.  Drove me up there, stood on the top, looked all around, and then closed one eye and drove me down the oth­er side.”

The men laughed.

Even had a pic­nic while we were there, didn’t we Clyde?”

They laughed out loud.

No telling where Lendon and Clyde might take off for next.”

New York.”

Cal­i­for­nia.”

I’m bet­ting Alaska.”

Lendon’s truck would make it there and back, even with as many miles as it’s got on it, wouldn’t it Lendon?”

Lendon looked at them all and smiled.  “You take good care of a Chiv­o­let truck, and it’ll take good care of you.”

It was a line he made up on the spur of the moment but one no doubt he would hear many times repeat­ed to him in return.

garnerA. M. Gar­ner grew up on the bot­tom edge of Alaba­ma Appalachia—near Chea­ha, the high­est point in Alabama–and now lives and teach­es on the bot­tom edge of the Upper South on the Ten­nessee Riv­er in North Alaba­ma. She is flu­ent in red­neck.  She has eat­en squir­rel fried in lard and served with a cup of steam­ing black cof­fee. For breakfast.

 

 

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Ghoul, fiction by Corey Mesler

It was a folk tale, an urban leg­end. That’s what we told our­selves though it was scant com­fort. I think I heard it first from my old­er brother’s friends on a night I was sup­posed to be asleep but, instead, had crept out­side the liv­ing room door to hear how my elders con­versed. There were three girls. I knew their names and some­thing about them. And my broth­er and his friends, Peck and Bil­ly. Bil­ly was our preacher’s son and he was mean as Medea. He used to hold me down and call me ‘lit­tle girl,’ and let his spit dan­gle over my face, forc­ing me to watch it as it fell onto my own mouth.

My broth­er, Damon, is sev­en years old­er than me. He let his wolfish friends treat me like a fig­ure of ridicule. He stood by. I revered Damon, and he knew it. This was 1965. We lived in the sub­urbs like every­one else. I was ten.

This night one of the girls had a sto­ry to tell. I think her name was Shelly Eliot. She was pret­ty, in a Diana Durbin way, and I believe my broth­er loved her at this time but thought she was out of his league. She prob­a­bly was.

Shelly, in a breath­less voice, was telling a sto­ry that she had been told. The once removed aspect of it made it both believ­able and slight­ly less harm­ful. These things only hap­pened to oth­er peo­ple, to strangers, to friends of friends, or kin of kin.

She told me she was at home alone,” Shelly was say­ing. “Her par­ents were out of town and she was at home alone because her younger broth­er had gone to spend the night at a friend’s house. Anna (this name meant noth­ing to me and it seemed to mean noth­ing to the oth­er lis­ten­ers) said she had just watched Fan­tas­tic Fea­ture. ‘Fool­ish of me to watch a hor­ror movie before going to bed alone at home,’ Anna admitted.

Anna con­fessed she was already agi­tat­ed so that when the neighbor’s dog set up a din it spooked her fur­ther. She got up in her night­gown and crept to the win­dow, look­ing out upon her back­yard, which was sep­a­rat­ed from the neighbor’s by a ten-foot wood­en fence. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dim night but as things came into focus the dog’s cat­er­waul­ing ceased abrupt­ly. And it was then that she saw it. Or its head and shoul­der at any rate. She said she saw him reced­ing, walk­ing away from her in the night­time, the back of his elon­gat­ed, thin head, and his bony shoul­ders, just vis­i­ble over the neighbor’s fence. The wood­en fence was ten-feet high! Anna screamed and her scream died away with an echo. Need­less to say, for the rest of the night, she did not sleep. She sat up with a base­ball bat beside her in bed and the poems of Anne Sex­ton in her shaky hands.”

There was silence when Shel­ley fin­ished her sec­ond-hand tale. Then one of the boys, it might have been the hor­rid Bil­ly, said, “Bull­shit. That’s a sto­ry you make up to scare small chil­dren. Ain’t no small chil­dren here, Shell.”

I only tell what was told to me,” Shel­ley said. Her tone was emphatic.

Let’s wake your lit­tle broth­er and tell him,” Bil­ly con­tin­ued. “Let’s watch the lit­tle girl squirm.”

Like Anna I spent the rest of my night awake, after I crept back to my bed. Instead of poet­ry I read Mad paper­backs until dawn.

This would have been the end of it, for morn­ing came and my fear dis­si­pat­ed like the dew, send­ing those black night-thoughts back into their shad­ow cor­ners. This would have been the end of it if three nights lat­er, had not my friend Eddie Main, told a sim­i­lar sto­ry, this time some­thing his cousin had told him hap­pened to him. The cousin lived near Bartlett High School, sev­en miles east of us.

The thing was taller than a man on stilts,” Eddie said. “And he was thin like a scare­crow. His legs were awk­ward, stiff things, as if he real­ly had stilts for legs, and his move­ments were jerky and clumsy.”

I stared at Eddie, my mouth half open. It was like I couldn’t focus on what he’d said.

What’s with you, Poindex­ter? You don’t believe me?”

Don’t call me Poindex­ter. As a mat­ter of fact I do believe you. I believe you whole­heart­ed­ly because I heard a sim­i­lar sto­ry this past week.”

Seri­ous­ly?”

Seri­ous­ly. Hap­pened a few streets over (this part was embell­ish­ment for effect—I had to make him see that this was more than coin­ci­dence). Killed a dog, we think. And was seen over the top of a ten-foot fence, mov­ing off like a demon.”

Eddie thought for a moment. His eyes were wide. “Like a ghoul,” he said.

A ghoul,” I repeat­ed for no good purpose.

These things pop up like mush­rooms,” Damon said lat­er when I relat­ed Eddie’s sto­ry. “Stop tak­ing this crap so seri­ous­ly. I think Shel­ley made hers up on the spot.”

But the details were just like the sto­ry Eddie heard.”

It’s always sec­ond-hand, Jim. These are urban leg­ends. It’s like jokes. You can hear a new joke in Mem­phis, fly to Boston and that same night hear the joke in Boston. No one knows quite why but these things happen.”

This was, nat­u­ral­ly, long before the inter­net, so, if what Damon was say­ing was true, it was as much a mys­tery as an ambu­la­to­ry crea­ture out of nightmare.

But—it’s a ghoul, Dame,” I said. “Per­haps,” I added softly.

A ghoul. Jim, stop being such a sissy.”

This stung. It always did. I nev­er got used to it and I nev­er could just shake it off with a laugh. Lit­tle girl. Sis­sy. Pansy.

A fort­night went by and we all for­got the pur­port­ed sight­ings. Even Eddie didn’t want to talk about it any­more. He had just dis­cov­ered The Pat­ty Duke Show and she was all he want­ed to discuss.

She plays both parts,” he told me as if he’d under­stood E=MC². “And she’s so good-look­ing both ways, nerd or princess.”

Yeah, she’s cute. But Lau­ra Petrie.”

You always say Lau­ra Petrie.”

Lau­ra Petrie.”

Poindex­ter.”

So, it came out of left field, when at a cam­pout, some­one new relat­ed a sim­i­lar story.

There were six of us and we had pitched 3 pup tents in the vacant lot at the end of Blue­field Street. The ground was hard and cold and we had built a fire, light­ing it with char­coal starter that Eddie had brought. Gary Gun­ther start­ed it all over again.

I’ve got a wild sto­ry to tell,” he began.

You kissed Rita Ferguson?”

Shut up, Poindex­ter.” He was speak­ing to Bob­by Sullivan.

This hap­pened to George Jen­nie, you know, the half-Asian kid goes to Scenic Hills.”

Yeah, I now George,” I said.

George was com­ing home late one night from his job at the Esso sta­tion. He usu­al­ly walked if the weath­er was nice. On this night, as he turned the cor­ner to his street, Scot­land, he saw in the dis­tance, scut­tling between two lamp­posts on oppo­site sides of the street, a giant with the head of a fox and long limbs that made him seem unbal­anced. George said he thought the thing was going to keel over as it tried to go from shad­ows to shad­ows. He said it was twelve feet high.”

None of us slept that night but we did not admit it was from fear.

I took this infor­ma­tion back to Damon the next day.

Stop it, Jim. I told you to drop this. I explained to you how urban leg­ends spread.”

But, Dame, this is three sightings.”

Three means noth­ing. You guys are crazed. Puber­ty does that to you. And why are all the wit­ness­es young peo­ple, huh? Why not a cop or some­one in author­i­ty? This is fairy tale right out of The Blob.”

This did give me pause and, in think­ing about it, I hit upon the obvi­ous next step of inquiry. I gath­ered Eddie, Gary and Bob­by togeth­er and told them my plan.

We have to take this to Old Yates. He used to be the sheriff.”

Old Yates! Jim, the guy’s 100 years old,” Eddie said. “And doesn’t he have it in for you?”

I don’t think he has it in for me. He just took my sling­shot away because I was shoot­ing acorns at his slid­ing glass door.”

The guys laughed. “I think it’s a great idea, Jim,” Bob­by said. And, because Bobby’s sup­port usu­al­ly meant we would fol­low, the four of us vis­it­ed Mr. Yates the next after­noon after school.

What’s up, boys?” the cranky old man said, in greet­ing. “Here to get your weapons back?” He was stooped and his gray hair was wild where it wasn’t miss­ing, and the sweater he was wear­ing had seen bet­ter days.

No, sir,” I said, step­ping for­ward. “We have a mys­tery for you. No one will believe us.”

And you think I will? What gave you that impres­sion, that I was a gullible old gull?”

May we come in, sir?” I persevered.

Alright,” he said, step­ping aside.

The house smelled like my grandmother’s. And it was dec­o­rat­ed sim­i­lar­ly. Every sur­face held a framed pho­to­graph or knick­knack, an entire army of glass fig­urines, numer­ous beer steins.

Oh, guests,” Mrs. Yates said. “Shall I get some lemonade?”

They ain’t gonna be here that long,” Sher­iff Yates said.

Ed,” Mrs. Yates said, and returned to the kitchen from whence she had come. We could hear her rat­tling glass­es and open­ing and clos­ing the fridge.

Spit it out,” Old Yates said. No offer to sit. He rest­ed him­self by lean­ing on a walk­ing stick.

I looked at my friends, took a deep breath, and told him a suc­cinct ver­sion of what I have iter­at­ed above. Some­time dur­ing my recita­tion Mrs. Yates deliv­ered a tray of lemon­ade and, when I was fin­ished, my throat was parched. I downed my glass.

Old Yates fixed us with watery eyes. Then he shook his leo­nine head.

I ain’t got time for such malarkey,” he said. “Now, beat it. Go tell it to some­one who will lis­ten. Maybe some­one at Bolivar.”

In Boli­var, Ten­nessee there was a sana­to­ri­um for the men­tal­ly unhinged. We had heard about it all our lives, usu­al­ly as part of a half-heart­ed threat. “Shut up, or you’re going to Bolivar.”

We left Old Man Yates, our behinds dragging.

Maybe Damon is right,” I said as we walked back up Ken­neth Street. “No adult’s seen this thing.”

Ghoul,” Eddie said.

This ghoul. Maybe it is just hysteria.”

A week passed and talk of the ghoul fad­ed out. There was oth­er news. Bob­by had found a shack in the woods south of Ken­neth Street, a shack with a bed, a mucky plank floor, a cou­ple can­dle stubs, and some dirty mag­a­zines. Bob­by said it belonged to Peck With­ers and he took his girl­friend Win­nie there when they were sup­posed to be at the movies. We tried to imag­ine that. All alone with Win­nie Park­er, blond, busty Win­nie Park­er, in a room with a bed, hid­den from all eyes. We tried to pic­ture Win­nie naked but our imag­i­na­tions were weak. We vowed to go back and pil­fer one of the magazines.

It was about this time, that Mr. McPher­son, a fire­man and drunk­ard, crashed his car into the fire hydrant in front of his home on Ken­neth, at one a.m., leapt from the car and stum­bled into his house, his shirt-tails fly­ing, his eyes wide, his face con­tort­ed in terror.

It wasn’t booze that sent him into that fire­plug and sprawl­ing across his lawn. He says he seen some­thing,” Dan­ny Water­meier said. “He said it was a monster.”

The sto­ry from Mr. McPher­son, as clar­i­fied lat­er, went like this:

He had pulled the late shift, along with Curt Bran­son, who lived in Fra­zier. Curt was sleep­ing and Mr. McPher­son was bid­ing his time, watch­ing the Late Late Movie, Red Riv­er. The fire­house dog, a Dal­ma­t­ian mix because they couldn’t afford a pure breed, was in anoth­er room and, at some point, McPher­son thought he heard the dog grum­bling in his sleep. A while lat­er the grum­bling turned to a whine and then a quick, loud, des­per­ate yelp. At this point McPher­son hur­ried into the adja­cent room but the dog was nowhere to be seen. The door at the south end of the room was open and the night air, with a bit of a nip to it, had entered the fire­house. “Ducky,” McPher­son called. “Ducky, come here boy.”

McPher­son thought he heard some light scuf­fling sounds out­side the door and made his way through it. There he saw, by a dump­ster, a side-view of a hor­rif­ic fig­ure, a good thir­teen feet high, with a body seem­ing­ly bent and mis­shapen, and a face like an elon­gat­ed demon’s. Its col­or­less hair was lank and sparse, its sick­ly gray skin mot­tled. It turned when it sensed the fireman’s approach and McPher­son saw, for the first time, that the beast was hold­ing the dead body of the fire­house dog. The dog was half-eat­en and the giant’s face was smeared with blood. Instead of flee­ing the crea­ture made a hiss­ing sound, dropped the dog and turned to face the fire­man. He didn’t approach but he didn’t flee. Instead he stood and stared, his gore-fouled mouth half-open, rasp­ing, like the mouth of an asthmatic.

McPher­son backed away through the door­way. It didn’t occur to him to wake Curt Bran­son. Instead he exit­ed through anoth­er door and jumped into his car, dri­ving like a mad­man until com­ing to a halt at the fire­plug in front of his home. Lat­er, we found out that Mr. Bran­son had slept through the whole affair. McPher­son stayed up all night, fright­en­ing his wife, who, for the first time in their mar­riage, asked her hus­band to have a belt of whiskey.

I tell you I was as sober as a judge,” Mr. McPher­son told Mr. Yates. His instincts, like ours, took him to the ex-sheriff’s house the next morn­ing. Mr. Yates had called my par­ents and asked if I could join them at his house. This is how I came to hear the fireman’s story.

From here the sight­ings increased in fre­quen­cy, some born of atten­tion-seek­ing, some seem­ing­ly gen­uine. Old Man Yates called the cur­rent sher­iff, Jock Whitak­er. Mr. Whitak­er was a hand­some man of thir­ty-five. His hair was pre­ma­ture­ly gray, but his face was as smooth as a child’s, and his gen­er­al appear­ance one of vital­i­ty and good humor.

Jesus, Sher­iff Yates,” he said, after lis­ten­ing to the tales the first time. “This seems, well, high­ly improb­a­ble. Perhaps—“

But he had no per­haps. And, as more sto­ries start­ed com­ing in, he was forced to form a task force to try to get a han­dle on what was hap­pen­ing. What was happening?

Among my peers I was now some­thing of an author­i­ty and I for­give myself, at this remove, for my swollen head. I admit I talked big.

The Leathers lost their cat. Two dogs, pit bulls, on Scheibler. Ken Wis­ter lost his entire brood of hens. Rab­bits, squir­rels, even bats, were found gnawed. The pet pop­u­la­tion was dwin­dling and there were more noc­tur­nal sight­ings. Guns began to pop up in many hands. Eddie’s father thought he caught the ghoul in his shoul­der with his 30–06, as it loped away, in the fields near Sum­mer Avenue, to the south. Eddie’s father said that it moved awk­ward­ly but faster than one would think it capa­ble of.

Jer­ry Moll’s sto­ry changed the shape of the leg­end: he said he saw the thing one moon­less night as it slipped into a sew­er hole. Mr. Moll worked with my father at Har­vester. He retrieved his pis­tol and a flash­light and went after it. He found it a few blocks over. It was attempt­ing to slink its enor­mous length upward through a grate. Mr. Moll fum­bled with his pis­tol and flash­light, chang­ing hands and then get­ting off a wild shot that ric­o­cheted around the con­crete pipe. The thing dropped and turned toward him. This time, instead of its pas­sive stance afore­men­tioned, it ran, hunched over, straight at Moll with great, scam­per­ing speed. Jer­ry raised his pis­tol and shot it direct­ly into the thing’s abdomen just as he was struck across the face with one skele­tal, long-fin­gered hand. Then it turned and ran, hold­ing a hand over its mid­sec­tion. “It felt like being hit by a hot rake,” Moll said, and his scarred face fright­ened us all for some time afterward.

Then the unthink­able hap­pened. Kathy Hol­lan­der, age 11, was found in Blue­field Woods. She was blood­ied and naked, though the police said they were unsure about sex­u­al pen­e­tra­tion. Her body bore marks of rough han­dling but had not ‘been chewed at,’ accord­ing to Sher­iff Whitak­er. We were all sick. My group of friends stopped get­ting togeth­er for a while. Sud­den­ly, Gun­smoke, Man­nix, Wild Wild West, Man from UNCLE, and The Rat Patrol, all seemed more impor­tant than wan­der­ing about talk­ing about girls. Or monsters.

And that was the last we heard of the ghoul. There were still some sight­ings com­ing in but Sher­iff Whitak­er said they were untrust­wor­thy and, after a few months, talk about the thing died away. Kathy Hollander’s death was un-offi­cial­ly list­ed as the one human death from the ghoul’s unlike­ly appear­ance. One the­o­ry I heard, which makes sense to me, is that the poor girl’s death had noth­ing to do with the ghoul, but the inten­si­fied night­time hunts, her death engen­dered, forced the crea­ture to go under­ground, or to go else­where. If so, no one will ever be charged with her murder.

The ghoul had gone as abrupt­ly as it had come.

I tell you this here, forty years lat­er, so that you will under­stand what is hap­pen­ing now. Its reap­pear­ance sur­prised even me; my mem­o­ry of the first vis­it was still ripe in my mind, though it often seemed like a bad dream I had had as a child and out­grown. Again the ear­ly reports were all from ado­les­cents. Per­haps the young have more sen­si­tive anten­nae, or per­haps they have not yet learned to tune out the improbable.

Most of the adults from that first time have passed away. Raleigh was incor­po­rat­ed into the city of Mem­phis in 1974. Sher­iff Whitak­er was killed on a rou­tine traf­fic check by a gun-nut motorist. Kathy Hollander’s par­ents moved to North Car­oli­na. McPher­son, the fire­man, was relieved of duty and died by his own hand in 1978, leav­ing behind a wife and wall-eyed daugh­ter. I believe Jer­ry Moll is still alive but I can’t say for sure. Most of my peers have scat­tered to the four winds. My broth­er, whom I looked up to in my youth as if he were a Colos­sus, moved to Maine. We are estranged now, by his choice. I stayed in Raleigh and mar­ried my wife, Faith, in 1985. By coin­ci­dence, she is Shelly Elliot’s cousin. We have two chil­dren, Chet and Phil, ages 5 and 7. They are now as afraid as we were back then. They crawl into our bed at night and want me to reas­sure them that there is no such thing as a 12 or 13-foot tall ghoul.

This I tell them. There is no such thing.

meslerCOREY MESLER has been pub­lished in numer­ous antholo­gies and jour­nals includ­ing Poet­ry, Gar­goyle, Five Points, Good Poems Amer­i­can Places, and Esquire/Narrative. He has pub­lished 8 nov­els, 4 short sto­ry col­lec­tions, and 5 full-length poet­ry col­lec­tions. His new nov­el, Mem­phis Movie, is from Coun­ter­point Press. He’s been nom­i­nat­ed for the Push­cart many times, and 2 of his poems were cho­sen for Gar­ri­son Keillor’s Writer’s Almanac. With his wife he runs a 145 year-old book­store in Mem­phis. He can be found at https://​coreymesler​.word​press​.com.

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Making Ends Meet, poem by Teisha Dawn Twomey

A good rule of thumb, is to pull the fine thread
through a length twice the stretch. Wind the string

in a semi-cir­cle to make a loop, pull the ends
through, tie the split twin tails taut together

knot­ted twice or triple to be sure it all stays
put as you hem the mend left to right.

It takes patience. When the sky is com­ing undone
and the con­stel­la­tions are somersaulting

the sheer drops reel­ing around you.
You must not let your­self slip through

this wind­ing trap. Become noiseless,
hook and fas­ten your­self to the center

of the vacant, vast­ness. Breathe then heave
the wee fiber of your being forward

begin dou­ble stitch­ing your own backbone
to the bar­ren land­scape of this reality

once you anchor your­self you may begin spinning
your own cob­web, the wrong way up, just for fun.

Catch the eye of the near­est din­ner guest, a fly.
You always have been good at get­ting attention.

teishatwomeyTeisha Dawn Twom­ey is the poet­ry edi­tor for Wilder­ness House Lit­er­ary Press. She received her MFA in Poet­ry at Les­ley Uni­ver­si­ty. Her poet­ry and short sto­ries have appeared in numer­ous print, as well as online poet­ry reviews and jour­nals. She is the Resource Spe­cial­ist at Spring­field College's Boston cam­pus and her first poet­ry col­lec­tion "How to Treat Pret­ty Things" will be released by River­haven Books lat­er this year.

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The road starts 896, Newark, Delaware, fiction by Timothy Gager

The road starts 896, Newark, Delaware

It start­ed with Black Beau­ties but also with Pink Foot­balls. You remem­ber those, at least one of them? When you chopped them up and inhaled the burn was remark­able. Take hun­dreds of tips of thumb­tacks and rip them through your nasal cavity.

You nev­er snort­ed Pop Rocks. Mikey died from snort­ing Pop Rocks or Black Beau­ties or Pink Footballs—or some­thing. Some­how, his entire nose explod­ed and left a hole in his face. He had to kill him­self right then and there. How the hell would he explain that to the Life Cere­al folks?

That’s not a gate­way drug. You knew this kid named Lar­ry Crank, who was so bad that the drug was his nick­name. A few lines of crank and you put the cas­sette of Live Rust on the play­er and just let it play….ten, twen­ty times. It was an entire day, an entire night. Your room­mate said, “I used to like Neil Young.” You had a dif­fi­cult time fol­low­ing that conversation.

You burned your lips on a crack pipe, with­out the warn­ing: The glass on this pipe reach­es extreme tem­per­a­tures. Han­dle with care. You didn’t care. The blis­ters popped and fused your lips together.

Then the curly haired girl wouldn’t kiss you. She said you had some sort of dis­ease, a social dis­ease, some STD beyond recog­ni­tion. You’d not been that way for very long. You grew a beard and set it on fire. You will nev­er do it again.

GagerTim­o­thy Gager is the author of eleven books of short fic­tion and poet­ry. His lat­est, The Thurs­day Appoint­ments of Bill Sloan, (Big Table Pub­lish­ing) is his first nov­el. He hosts the suc­cess­ful Dire Lit­er­ary Series in Cam­bridge, Mass­a­chu­setts for over thir­teen years and is the co-founder of Somerville News Writ­ers Fes­ti­val. His work appears in over 300 jour­nals, of which nine have been nom­i­nat­ed for the Push­cart Prize. His work has been read on Nation­al Pub­lic Radio.

His work has appeared in over 300 jour­nals since 2007 and of which nine have been nom­i­nat­ed for the Push­cart Prize. His work has been read on Nation­al Pub­lic Radio.

Tim­o­thy was for­mer­ly the Fic­tion Edi­tor of The Wilder­ness House Lit­er­ary Review, the found­ing co-edi­tor of The Heat City Lit­er­ary Review and has edit­ed the book, Out of the Blue Writ­ers Unite: A Book of Poet­ry and Prose from the Out of the Blue Art Gallery.

A grad­u­ate of the Uni­ver­si­ty of Delaware, Tim­o­thy lives in Ded­ham, Mass­a­chu­setts and is employed as a social worker.

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Reckoning, fiction by Cat Pleska

It was qui­et in the old board­ing house, no where near morn­ing. Silent, dark hous­es clus­tered hard by the road. Near­by the usu­al­ly rau­cous but now silent, beer joint, the Dew Drop Inn beamed the only glow onto the street through a sin­gle, dirt-smudged window.

In a room on the sec­ond floor of Mary’s Board­ing House, steady snor­ing sparred with snurkking snorts. Moon­light beamed into the dark­ened room, but did not illu­mi­nate the sleep­ing cou­ple. A warm night for May, the heat prob­a­bly caused the woman to throw one leg out­side the cov­ers. The man beside her wore no shirt, only his under­wear. Despite the warmth, the two spooned tight­ly. They did not stir when the screen door on the first floor creaked as it was eased open. They slept on as a man tried the front door knob and delight­ed in his mind that the door slipped open. The man, hat brim pulled tight­ly down on his head, stepped soft­ly through the par­lor and up the stairs, hes­i­tat­ing when a creak seemed loud­er than a bull horn. He froze in place for a moment. His old black suit jack­et scratched the bare skin of his back and arms under his over­alls. He felt the weight of the gun in his right jack­et pocket.

Going straight into the hall­way at the top of the stairs, he slowed his steps and approached a bed­room door on the right. Gen­tly twist­ing the white ceram­ic knob, he cracked the door, just enough to allow a peek into the dark room. The full moon’s glow through a win­dow illu­mi­nat­ed the large bulk of a man, snor­ing like a buzz saw. He was flopped onto his back, his huge bel­ly ris­ing and falling with his breaths. See­ing only one form, the man in the hat closed the door, knock­ing one of his boots with it. He froze again. Lis­tened. No noise came from the room except snor­ing. After a few sec­onds, he pon­dered the closed door across from where he stood. He found this room, too, was unlocked, so he eased the door open.

In this room, the moon light shone strong­ly against the dress­er wall, mak­ing the remain­der of the room dark­er, so he wait­ed until his eyes adjust­ed. He final­ly dis­cerned lumps in the bed, but he could not be sure the lumps in the bed were who he sought. Widen­ing the door, he stepped in, bare­ly let­ting the weight of his boot rest on the floor boards. Not tip­toe­ing but slow­ly lift­ing first one foot then the oth­er, he stepped clos­er to the bed. Two fig­ures, two snores. A board creaked when he shift­ed his weight slight­ly, and the loud­er of the two snores stopped. No one in the bed moved. Again, the man wait­ed. He lis­tened for their even breath­ing. The one with the light snore nev­er inter­rupt­ed her noise, but the heavy one’s breath­ing returned to an even and deep rhythm. The man crept for­ward. A man and a woman, he thought. This is them.

Now his eyes were more adjust­ed to the dark. He could see that the heav­ier form near­est him and fac­ing him was the man he was seek­ing. He thought he could see the woman’s brown hair fanned on the white pil­low as she cud­dled up to the oth­er man. The man in the hat felt his stom­ach acids roil as he noticed how tight­ly she was spooned against the man next to her. His right hand moved ever so slow­ly toward his jack­et pock­et. He felt the cold met­al of the gun, locat­ed the han­dle and wrapped his hand around it. Care­ful­ly, his thumb eased the safe­ty off, his index fin­ger locat­ing the trig­ger. Now stand­ing ful­ly beside the bed, he watched the cou­ple sleep.

Look­ing to the left, the man in the hat noticed a fedo­ra on the bed­post. Beside that, spread over the foot­board, was a dress he knew well, the blue one with small white Queen Anne’s lace blos­soms. Along the wall oppo­site the bed, the moon­light part­ly illu­mi­nat­ed the dress­er. A purse sat there, reflect­ed dim­ly in the dress­er mir­ror. A sil­ver clasp glowed.

He looked back to the man sleep­ing and slow­ly pulled the gun from his pock­et. His hand did not shake; he clenched his teeth; he resist­ed a long sigh. A roar­ing noise sound­ed in his ears and he briefly con­sid­ered the hate in his heart. His mind fevered with thoughts and images—images he had only imag­ined till now. Now the truth was before him. He couldn’t help it, but his breath short­ened and came quick­er. He felt a prick­ling sen­sa­tion under his arms and on his upper lip. Was the room turn­ing just a bit white? It was enough. He lev­eled the gun at the man’s head. He hes­i­tat­ed long enough to look at the woman, whose face he could see well now against the white pil­low. Damn …

Sud­den­ly, the man in the bed raised, lung­ing toward the man in the hat and grabbed at him. Star­tled, the man in the hat stum­bled back­ward. His right arm went up, still clutch­ing the gun. The met­al of the bar­rel, momen­tar­i­ly illu­mi­nat­ed by the moon’s shine, reflect­ed off the mir­ror and onto the wall behind him, high up. For just a flash of a sec­ond, a tiny spot like that of a wristwatch’s glow, bounced wild­ly on the wall above the bed. As the man in the hat teetered back­ward, that was all the time the man in the bed need­ed. He lunged, tan­gled in the cov­ers, but his for­ward motion brought his bulk against the man with the gun. Both fell to the floor with a loud whump! The woman woke and sat up quick­ly, stunned and not to her­self. What? She turned toward the scuf­fling nois­es and began scream­ing, still not sure what was happening.

When the gun fired, every­thing in the room stopped: move­ment, think­ing, breathing.

The woman, hold­ing her breath, now rushed her breath out with a woosh! and whim­pered, more awake, more hor­ri­fied, and began shak­ing with fear; there was no move­ment or sound com­ing from the floor, the pile of two men. She pulled the cov­ers to her chin, and called out her lover’s name. After what seemed a long time, the unin­jured man stag­gered to stand. He whirled before slump­ing on the bed. The man on the floor did not move. Only the blood from the wound in his side flowed, inch­ing its way to the base­board on the slant­i­ng floor boards of the old house. A gur­gling noise, soft­ly sound­ed as blood rose to the downed man’s throat. A long sigh escaped his mouth, bub­bling the blood as a child would blow bub­bles from his high chair.

Mov­ing to the side of the bed near her lover, the woman strug­gled to see who was on the floor. She gasped loud­ly. “Oh my god! It’s my hus­band, Harry!”

Her lover still did not move as he looked at the pis­tol in his hand. How the hell was he going to explain this? He turned to look at Louise, who was star­ing down into the dark floor, her eyes adjust­ing more and more so that she could now see the flow of blood mov­ing slow­ly along the wall. She moved back to her side of the bed, grabbed and clutched a pil­low to her chest.

How long they were frozen in posi­tion, nei­ther could have said, but it seemed almost imme­di­ate­ly that Mary, the board­ing house own­er, came rush­ing in, fum­bled for the wall switch, which made a loud click as the ceil­ing bulb lit up the room. Quick­ly tak­ing in the scene, she stared at the man and woman, still frozen in place then whirled and ran back into the hall to the tele­phone and called the sheriff.

She woke him up, scream­ing that there was a man in one of her bed­rooms, shot, prob­a­bly dead, on the floor and to get there right now! The sher­iff, won­der­ing how many nights now he’d been called to a shoot­ing in his town just in the last month, shrugged on clothes and raced to the board­ing house. He ran up the stairs two at a time. Mary, clutch­ing her che­nille robe, ran toward the sher­iff. “A man’s in there, dead!” He pushed her aside, but asked her who had the gun. Mary said she’d seen it on the bed, wasn’t any­one hold­ing it, last time she’d looked.

Slow­ly, he peeked into the room and glanced around. He saw a heavy set man in green work pants, a white t‑shirt, with no shoes stand­ing near the head­board. A young woman was stand­ing on the oth­er side of the bed in a thin robe. A gun rest­ed on the bed. A man, with blood all around him, was on the floor.  Mary, behind the sher­iff, point­ed around him at the woman stand­ing. “Earl! Get those peo­ple out! I’ll not have this in my house.” The sher­iff ignored her, step­ping to the side of the bed where the man laid sprawled. Reach­ing for the gun, the sher­iff asked the man, who was smok­ing a cig­a­rette, if he had any weapons. The man pulled the cig­a­rette from his mouth, shak­ing his head no. “It was self defense,” he said.

The sher­iff, keep­ing an eye on the man stand­ing, grunt­ed as he strad­dled the dead man on the floor, not­ing the wound entrance was at the low­er left rib. He rolled him over and not­ed the bul­let had no exit wound. As he moved him, he kicked the man’s hat aside. He glanced at the gun in his hand.

Twen­ty-two,” he com­ment­ed to no one in particular.

Yeah. Appears to be,” the man answered, tak­ing a deep drag from his cigarette.

Rat­tled around inside, I sus­pect,” the sher­iff seemed to say to him­self as he straight­ened up from exam­in­ing the body. He looked at the oth­er man and then the woman, who he now rec­og­nized as a local and the wife of the man on the floor.  “Wan­na tell me what happened?”

Louise’s cor­rob­o­rat­ed the self-defense sto­ry, and my grand­fa­ther was not charged with any crime. The sher­iff wrote up a report, had the wit­ness­es write their account of what hap­pened, and thought how glad he’d be when the out-of-town gas com­pa­ny fin­ished their pipe lay­ing and left town. With strangers com­ing in, the crime rate had gone up. He’d told Mary time and again to get locks on her doors, but the old tight­wad wouldn’t. He real­ized he was get­ting care­less. He could have been shot, going into that room alone. But he was too tired to think about it. The sun was ris­ing as he went home and back to bed.

Lat­er that day, my grand­fa­ther was on his way out of Ken­tucky and back home to West Vir­ginia. The sher­iff told him to get out of his town, and prefer­ably his state. My grand­fa­ther found his fore­man on the job and told him what hap­pened and that he was return­ing home a day ear­ly. The gas com­pa­ny fore­man shook his head and told him his pay would be short. Then he turned back to watch one of his men weld a gas pipe in place.

***

A day lat­er, my grand­moth­er stood up straight from a bend­ing posi­tion. She ran her free hand through her black, curly hair and adjust­ed her eye­glass­es. She con­sid­ered the Four o’clock blos­soms she held in her hand. They were white and shock­ing pink and pur­ple-blue. Slow­ly, as if old, she climbed two steps, opened the screen door and stepped into the kitchen. At the end of the table, where he always seemed to light, was my grand­fa­ther. Shak­ing salt into his glass of beer, he didn’t glance at my grand­moth­er com­ing in. She stepped over to the table, a chair away from him and laid scis­sors down by a dirty plate. She picked up the plate and put it in the sink. Reach­ing for an amber car­ni­val glass vase on top of the refrig­er­a­tor, she took it to the sink to fill it with water. She plunked the four o’clock blos­soms in the vase and turned to set them on the kitchen table. Sit­ting in a side chair, she fussed with the del­i­cate flowers.

Where you been, Pet?” My grand­fa­ther slurred, drag­ging on his cigarette.

Just out back.”

Pick­ing flow­ers?” His swollen hand closed around the beer glass. She didn’t answer.

After the flow­ers were arranged to her sat­is­fac­tion, she asked, “You want some din­ner?” She glanced at the stove.
“Yeah. Lat­er,” he said.

The kitchen was qui­et, with only the gas flame under the refrig­er­a­tor whoosh­ing on. My grand­moth­er stood, sup­port­ing her­self on the back of a chair and watched my grand­fa­ther gulp his beer. He thud­ded the glass down and burped loudly.

She stood, hand on back of chair, star­ing at the wall behind the table. She sighed heavily.

What was her name?” She asked.

Who?”

The woman, over there in Kentucky.”

He belched again and shoved the emp­ty beer bot­tle toward my grand­moth­er. “Get me anoth­er beer, Pet.”

My grand­moth­er went to the refrig­er­a­tor and got a beer, and brought it to the table. My grand­fa­ther popped off the cap with a bot­tle open­er and poured anoth­er glass. He was down­ing that when my grand­moth­er final­ly let go the back of the chair and moved toward the kitchen door that led into the liv­ing room.

Louise,” she heard him say, as she kept mov­ing through the house.

***

When I was twen­ty-one, a few months before my grand­fa­ther died, I came to see him.  Over the years, my vis­its became less fre­quent.  I explained I was busy work­ing or going to school.  But for the last two years, I’d heard my grandfather’s mind was going.  “It’s the first thing to go when some­one drinks like him,” I’d hear peo­ple say.  Now, his body was fail­ing rapid­ly. He had retired from the gas com­pa­ny many years before, a move strong­ly sug­gest­ed by his foreman.

When I arrived, it was a warm day, late in June, just before locusts start buzzing to sig­nal the begin­ning of dog days.  Vines grew pro­fuse­ly over my grand­par­ents’ porch on the front of the house, afford­ing pri­va­cy and shade to those sit­ting in big, green met­al lawn chairs or on the wood­en porch swing.  My grand­fa­ther was on the swing, feet up, sway­ing soft­ly back and forth.  He was smok­ing a cig­a­rette and cough­ing with each puff.  I’d been warned that he looked pret­ty bad, but I wasn’t pre­pared for the raw, run­ning sores on his big, beefy hands and puffy arms: the bloat­ed body.

His head turned at the sound of my step, and his cloudy blue eyes stared unfo­cused in my direction.

Hi, Pop­paw.”  I slipped into a met­al lawn chair close to the swing.  He turned to look at me and leaned forward.

He’s try­ing to see who you are.”  My grand­moth­er said as she came through the screen door and stepped out onto the porch.  “He don’t rec­og­nize many these days.  And he don’t remem­ber voic­es either.”  She was dressed in red shorts, her legs still love­ly and smooth, her hair fresh­ly permed and doused in a blue rinse.

I turned back to look at my grand­fa­ther.  This was the man who’d drank so much that now he couldn’t rec­og­nize the voice of his favorite grand­daugh­ter.  He began to cough, har­rumph­ing and spit­ting phlegm over the banister.

The sores on there won’t heal.  I called the doc­tor, and he said his sugar’s prob­a­bly out of con­trol.”  My grand­moth­er sat down across from me in anoth­er met­al lawn chair.

My grand­fa­ther sud­den­ly jerked his body upright.  “What’re you doing here?” He turned toward me, and his huge, puffy hands curled to fists.  I leaned away, star­tled, and looked at my grand­moth­er.  Before she could answer, he yelled again.  “What are you doing here?”

He shook his fist at me.  “I told you it was self-defense.  God-dammit-to-hell!  You get off my porch!”  The strain of yelling brought him to anoth­er cough­ing fit.  When he could breathe nor­mal­ly again, he drew on his cig­a­rette, star­ing out through the vines at the road in front of the house.  I real­ized I was still frozen in a half-sit­ting, half-stand­ing posi­tion, ready to run.

My grand­moth­er calm­ly lit a cig­a­rette and shook her head.  “He’s been doing that all week.  He rushed the tele­phone man yes­ter­day.  All he want­ed was to ask about some line trou­ble we were hav­ing.  Like to have scared that man to death.  He chased the mail­man away from the mail box.  Scream­ing at him.  Call­ing him Louise.  He thinks every­body is that woman whose hus­band he killed years ago. He thinks they’ve come to kill him now.” My grand­moth­er snort­ed. I sank back into my chair.

I watched her as she turned her head to look at my grand­fa­ther, now calm­ly swing­ing again.  I watched as the years marched across her face, as she stayed, with nowhere to go. I looked at her hands, still soft on top, I knew, hands that took care of every­thing, from bills, scrap­ing mon­ey togeth­er, ask­ing the bank to wait on a pay­ment, to clean­ing and can­ning and cook­ing, to dri­ving him while he was drunk so he wouldn’t kill some­one. I remem­ber her hair tum­bling over the rag tied tight­ly around her head to ease a migraine. Her body, rum­pled, yet stur­dy from years of being home, stay­ing, wait­ing. Maybe for this moment.

My grand­fa­ther idly scratched at a bleed­ing sore on top of his hand.  She puffed on her cig­a­rette and blew the smoke slow­ly through her nose, as if it were the most exot­ic and free thing she had ever done.  She blew it direct­ly at my grandfather.

He swat­ted at her smoke as if flies buzzed his head.

pleskaCat Ples­ka is a 7th gen­er­a­tion West Vir­gin­ian, author, edi­tor, edu­ca­tor, pub­lish­er, and sto­ry­teller. She is a fre­quent writ­ing work­shop leader and is an essay­ist for West Vir­ginia Pub­lic Radio and a for­mer book review­er for The Charleston Gazette. She edit­ed the anthol­o­gy Fed from the Blade: Tales and Poems from the Moun­tains, pub­lished in 2012 by Wood­land Press. She has pub­lished in many mag­a­zines, antholo­gies, and news­pa­pers through­out the region. Her first book, Rid­ing on Comets: a Mem­oir was pub­lished by West Vir­ginia Uni­ver­si­ty Press May 2015. Cat was award­ed the Gov­er­nor of Arts Award, 2016, for her sup­port of the lit­er­ary arts.

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Blind Visions, poem by Margot Brown

The grass and once green trees
are stiff and Decem­ber is frozen
in all my heart’s tears. Don’t see
no dif­fer­ence in stayin or goin
cause I’ll always have the same fears.

Wish I could start, just start walkin
a new road–one that leads
me where I’m goin. There’s no use
in time left for lookin behind, cause
you don’t seem to mind

where I’m blowin. Just like a lost leaf
a scat­terin down-street, shuffled
and worn out with dyin, now I wish I could
start, just start makin a new road, and I wish
I could stop this old cryin. It’s always

those times that I want to see you–
those are the times when I’m lonely.
There just aint no words for thinkin about you
cause there aint no way you’re gonna
love me. I used to think

if this world was a bil­lion times bigger
that I could still find you. Voices
kept sin­gin and blue bells kept
ringin, cause I thought that a child’s love
would bind you. Now I wish

I could start makin tracks
on some high­way that leads me
to where I’ll be hap­py. Seems
time’s just wast­ed lookin behind
when a blind girl’s got visions of Pappy.

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The Scent of a Woman, poem by Diana Rosen

(orig­i­nal­ly pub­lished in Cam­roc Press Review)

The scent of a woman
lingers in her kitchen
like her sig­na­ture sauce
sim­mer­ing until it steams
win­dows damp on an autumn
day. Lingers in her children’s
bed­rooms like her read­ing voice
or mem­o­ries of ten­der kiss­es planted
on pre­tend­ing-to-sleep faces.
The scent of a woman
lingers everywhere
her hus­band turns,
fam­i­ly photos,
the too-big-now bed,
her hairbrush
abandoned
on the bureau.

dianarosenDiana Rosen is a jour­nal­ist with hun­dreds of mag­a­zine, news­pa­per, and online arti­cle cred­its; author of 10 non­fic­tion books and co-author of three oth­ers. Her poems and flash fic­tion have appeared in many pub­li­ca­tions includ­ing the print jour­nals: Final­ist for the 2006 VERY Short Sto­ry Con­test in Lunch Hour Sto­ries, RATTLE, LUCIDITY, con­volvu­lus, and PDQ, and in online jour­nals, http://​inter​gen​er​a​tiona​month​.org (Hon­or­able Men­tion, 2015), www​.miri​amswell​.word​press​.com, www​.writ​er​stribebooks​.com, www​.verse​-vir​tu​al​.com, and two forth­com­ing in 2016 in www​.poet​ic​di​ver​si​ty​.org Her work has also appeared in the antholo­gies: "Kiss Me Good­night, Sto­ries and Poems by Women Who Were Girls When Their Moth­ers Died." "BOLD INK, Col­lect­ed Voic­es of Women and Girls," and "Those Who Can….TEACH: Cel­e­brat­ing Teach­ers Who Make a Dif­fer­ence," among others.

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Apollo 11, poem by Ron Cooper

Dish­es washed and dried,
Kitchen floor swept three times,
Coun­ter­tops pol­ished five,
Moth­er rearranges sil­ver­ware, dusts cabinets.

Father gets anoth­er cup of coffee.
“Go on to bed, Martha. If Gabriel toots, it’ll wake you.”
But she refolds the dishrag,
Looks out the win­dow, up.

A phone call this late usu­al­ly relays death,
But this night we know it’s another
Rap­ture watch­er offer­ing and seek­ing comfort.
“Them pew-jumpers are all shook up,” Father says
To me, nine years old, allowed to stay up late this long night.
I hear her flip­ping pages,
Read­ing into the phone from Ezekiel, Rev­e­la­tion, Psalms.

Neil Arm­strong steps, leaps giantly.
Father announces, “We’re still here, Martha.
No Jesus, no Devil.
Call the preach­er and tell him his job’s safe.”

She goes out to sit on the steps.
Lat­er, as a chuck will’s wid­ow wails,
And log trucks rum­ble on the dark highway
Like any oth­er night,
I look from my bed­room win­dow to the porch
Where light­ning bugs flash
And she sits, waits,
Stares at the sky,
At its awful sameness.

roncooperRon Coop­er grew up in the South Car­oli­na swamps and has lived in Flori­da for the past twen­ty-eight years. His poems, sto­ries, and essays have appeared in pub­li­ca­tions such as The Chat­ta­hoochee Review, Yalobusha Review, and Deep South Mag­a­zine. He is the author of the nov­els Pur­ple Jesus (which the Wash­ing­ton Post called “a lit­er­ary event of the first mag­ni­tude”), Hume’s Fork, and, most recent­ly, The Gospel of the Twin (which Fred Chap­pell called “an enthralling sto­ry!”). Coop­er teach­es at the Col­lege of Cen­tral Flori­da. His web­site is www​.ron​coop​er​.org

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Baloney, poem by Thomas Alan Holmes

Baloney

I.

Usu­al­ly, when I com­mit to it,
I’ve bought pre-pack­aged, thick-sliced stuff
that has red plas­tic cas­ing around the edge.
I lay some slices down and take a table knife
I can wash in the sink
and cut the stuff in half, then notch
anoth­er cut cross-wise in the middle.
My fry­ing pan spit­ting hot, I pull
cold pink baloney from dan­gling cas­ing strands,
drop slices flat into the pan,
and run the cas­ing across my open mouth,
cor­ner to cor­ner, hooked in tongue curl,
savor­ing last cling­ing morsels.
Grease pops as I sear baloney edges,
notched to keep them flat
against siz­zle nested
between sea­soned meat and sea­soned iron,
baloney caramel and scorch,
until I can’t wait any more,
some­times not even long enough
to snug it into a biscuit
or a fold­ed slice of near-burnt toast.

II.

Sit­ting in a two-door ’72 LTD Brougham
out­side a coun­ty grocery
in August, win­dows down,
heat shim­mer like blown puddles
on asphalt so hot I can smell it,
wet with sweat after driving
with one shoul­der hitched just so,
let­ting wind blow into my left sleeve
to make my shirt rip­ple flaglike,
open­ing white butcher’s paper
of fresh-sliced baloney from a hefty chubb,
store­brand white bread and an RC,
three dol­lars and change in my pocket
and no wor­ries about hav­ing enough
mon­ey to make it back home
once I find a rur­al route
busy enough to have a yel­low stripe,
delib­er­ate­ly a lit­tle lost,
I am.

taholmesThomas Alan Holmes, a mem­ber of the East Ten­nessee State Uni­ver­si­ty Eng­lish fac­ul­ty, lives in John­son City. Some of his work has appeared in Louisiana Lit­er­a­ture, Val­paraiso Poet­ry Review, Appalachi­an Her­itage, The Con­necti­cut Review, The Appalachi­an Jour­nal, North Amer­i­can Review, Stoneboat, The Flori­da Review, Blue Mesa Review, Pine Moun­tain Sand & Grav­el, Still: The Jour­nal, and The South­ern Poet­ry Anthol­o­gy Vol­ume VI: Ten­nessee, with poems forth­com­ing in Sem­i­nary Ridge Review and The World Is Charged: Poet­ic Engage­ments with Ger­ard Man­ley Hop­kins (Clem­son U P).

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What These Boots are Made For, fiction by Matt Prater

Ten years and more had passed, and Joy was now a Ms.

That part of it was not as hard as she’d been told; the good things in a bad man weren’t so much, she’d found, that the loss of them would dent more than a year in your life. What had been hard, though, was that still, when so much of her friends had moved or bought homes or had kids, had found a guy or girl to get hitched up with, had got knocked up or been to jail or fought in wars or won or lost at some great thing—or died—or had just found a job in Cave Spring or, hell, in Big Stone Gap, what had she done with her nose in books, eyes set on New York, life?

Taught at the same school she’d went to as a girl.

Drove the same car her Dad bought her in high school.

Broke up and moved on, but lost her best good dog.

And, yes, moved on and up from Ms. Joy to Ms. Wells when Rose Call died and no one else at the school asked for her job. Four years out of Tech, the one big win she’d had was a job she still might not have got had Coach Null’s wife, or the new flirt aide from the beach, had asked for it.

Kate had known—known all of it—when she and Joy were best friends and still in school. Had seen the whole damn thing. Kate had told her to leave and not look back. Kate had told her not to date Jeff, that he was a scrub. Kate, in fact, had said to go with her to the Air Force—or, if she was so bent on Tech, to join the Corps while she was there. There was cash in that, at the end; school all paid for, moved to a new town, skills for a job—and, yes, the risk—but Kate had said the risks of home were just as bad. More girls like them had died from pills than died in wars.

But now ten years had passed, and Joy was still here, still stalled, still what she was; while Kate had came back home with cash and scars and chest pins, with a way to walk in and know how to hold up her sharp dress blues. Had it all been smooth? Of course not. Joy’s friend had been there, in the worst place to be in a long dumb fight, and in the worst of all times to be there. Kate saw the Surge, and the Surge did not change things. Kate’s job had not been to fight, but at some few times she had to, and had done it well. She hauled a big gun then, and when she had to shot it with some skill.

All of these things, of course, weren’t things Kate or Joy would give much talk to. Joy, for her part, had made sure that when Kate came home she came home in her mind. Not that she could make it that way, but at least she tried. Kate, for Joy, was a girl to keep up and off the tramp of frat boys and frat men who saw her in boots and a bun, and for those things did not see her at all; or men who did not see her boots or sharp dress blues at all since she was just Kate—Kate the flirt or Kate the drunk or Kate Bob’s kid or just plain Kate that girl.

You look so nice with your hair grown out,” Joy would tease her. “Grow it out, I want to braid it. Pweeze.”

When I grow it out it just gets caught in stuff and gets pulled.”

You don’t like it when I pull your hair?” Joy would wink at her.

Girl, you’re a goob.”

These things, on top of all the rest, were why Chris had pissed Joy off so much when, when he saw them out, he just walked up and asked Kate to come talk to the kids on war, as if that was a thing you asked. Joy did not like it when guys talked to Kate re the war or the Air Force – not a one failed to ask some dumb thing on guns or trucks or what girls did or why or if they could. At least Chris was just the type who thought Kate’s butt looked good in blues…but still, just…ew.

And worse that it was Chris. Chris, the king of frat boys, had no years on Joy but had come from the next town up, and was a guy, and had played ball in school (and coached it now), so he was the one they’d picked to run the school. In fact, in the just two years he’d taught a real class, Chris had been the king of screens; and now he seemed to think all things could be solved with prep tests, screens, and drills. So Kate kept clear of him when she could help it; and on days she had to, showed just a bit of boob.

Chris was not just the kind of guy who thought tests told the truth, or who thought the sharp knot of his tie (or the cell phone clip on his belt) made him right, who thought he could count up all the kids just like ghosts on the head of a pin; but, on top of that, he was the kind of man who sat in rooms with an odd count of men and made votes—the kind of man who did not think the count of those men, nor the count of men, was odd. In short, Chris did what he liked and liked who let him do it. This year, Chris liked the war, or at least he liked the folks who fought it, and he thought it would a good thing for the kids if they liked them, too. What the school should do, he’d said, was to have a big Red White & Blue day for the troops! Bring them in, feed them cake, and have them tell the kids why it’s great to serve.

This had made Joy, back of Chris and Kate’s talk, a bit qualmed to start with. “I think this would be a great thought for the High School,” she said.

I meant we should do it here.”

Oh, I know, it’s just…”

I mean if you don’t think you have time—” which was his way to call her slack.

No, it’s not that. I just think we need to think how best to do it—” which was her way to call him an ass.

What do you mean?”

I just mean, how do we talk to eight year olds so they get War?”

Well, we just tell them the truth.”

And what if their folks don’t like that?”

Eh, I don’t think they’ll mind. Who here won’t vote for Mitt?”

Well…I know a few.”

See? All the more why we’ve got to do this big!”

As Joy was want to say, it makes an ass of you and me. But still, as in all things, Chris got his way. And since Kate liked Chris for who knew why, Joy kept her mouth shut. And the day was big. They made a whole big brunch: red ham, white eggs, and blue fruit, with gold hash browns on the side. Then they all went to the gym and said the pledge and heard the high school choir sing “She’s a Grand Old Flag” and “This Land is Your Land” (sans the last verse or so). Then they heard the third grade champ read his state DAR third place work, “It Is Not Free To Be Free,” in which he wrote of his dad’s two tours and one Bronze Star. His dad was there, had his Star on, and cried. Some of the kids cried, too. Then there were more songs, and a short speech from Ms. Stone (who taught first grade, but used to be in the Air Force, too), and then they all went back to class.

It still turned out to the good though, all in all. Kate got to spend the whole day with Joy’s kids, and talked to them less on war and more on what girls could do, and how girls were just as good as boys (and she got one of the boys to face off with her in push ups in the gym, and beat him, which made him and all of the boys love her), and then when they got back to class, for the last hour of the day she said she’d take on all they could ask.

***

            “What kind of shoes do you like best, high heels or boots?”

I don’t wear boots, just pumps now. You know I’m old now, right?” she winked.

You’re not old!” some of them yelled.

Well, high heels hurt more than boots, but they look good. Does that help?”

***

            “Ms. Kate, will you look at my boots?”

Well, those sure are cute boots! Where’d you get them?”

At the store.”

***

            “Ms. Kate, what did you do when you got scared?”

When we got scared we worked. We train a lot, so that when things get hard we just do what we know. We don’t say can’t.”

***

Do meal packs taste good?”

Ya’ll want to see one? We learned how to make them from the folks who flew in space,” she said, which was kind of true, as she pulled one (pork rib) out of her bag.

***

Ms. Wells says that fights are bad? If that’s true, why did you do it?”

When you fight for folks when they get hurt and need help, that’s a good thing. We helped a lot of kids, just like all of you, boys and girls whose schools had been closed down. We fixed their schools and got them food and books.”

***

Did you get shot?”

Nope,” she said. “But I did get to blow up a bridge, though. That was cool.”

Un-uh!” some of the girls winked at her.

Uh-huh!” she winked back.

***

            “Um, I don’t think girls can blow things up,” John said.

John…” Ms. Wells said.

Hell yes we do!” Kim yelled back at him.

Kim! We do not say that word in school,” Ms. Wells cut in.

Well let’s play house, cause what he said was dumb.”

Kim.”

Dude, my bad,” John said.

I’m not a dude.”

I just meant girls help out in war; they don’t fight.”

Yeah, right.”

Well, Kim, John is right,” Kate said. “I was with the Corps, and we built things. My job was to tear down old sites so we could fix them up. So when I blew up things, it was with a charge, not a bomb. But, John, Kim’s right too. Girls do fight in war, and some get hurt.”

***

Did girls die there?”

Yes, they did.”

***

We wish you worked here, Ms. Kate. We like you a lot!” two girls came up and told her and hugged her on the legs when she was off to leave at the end of the day.

Aww, I like you all, too. I’ll be back,” she said, and held up the Scout sign. The girls gave Kate the Scout sign back.

Kate did need new work, in fact, now that she was home. That she had trained well in her field had not meant she had been hired well in her field when she came back. Girls blew up and built the world at war; at home, well, some folks still thought not so much.

Will you come play with us? Do you have to go?” they said, and dragged her towards the field.

Yes, I can stay and play with you.”

Can we play, too?” a few of the boys ran up to ask.

Kate knew the hearts of boys at ten, who played games that starred guns, and who were turned by that play to men who fought and men who screwed down the world’s taut chains. When she was ten, Kate, too, was a mud faced girl and played with mud faced boys. Good boys who joined the Corps or Air Force; good boys who served; good boys who, some of them, had fought with her; and good boys who did not come home. How could she share with them the strange weight they took home, all of them, this thing which could least by said or known by those who loved them most? At times it seemed no one who did not know could help, and that no one who did know was less hurt or of more use.

And yet they span in loops, each of them their own moon, the lot of them a score of moons, lit by what words did not need to prove was the same fracked heart. In their light, which came from the light which gives all light to the world, the red leaves that fell that day, and the cold creek near them, where the stock trout gorged and slowed so as to keep with the year of the Lord, the fruit of the earth and the fall of that fruit (which makes up the year of the Lord), on a day which—save the day of fire which comes next time to clean up the world from the world—as all days the fruit will come and fall and come back in its turn for all time, a day with no need to be mourned or dried or stored or kept. Kate spun in heels and the oak leaves fell, while small girls and boys in rain boots laughed and spun, who did not need to know at all the things they knew how to cure.

You could do that for a job, you know that right?” Joy said, that night, the two of them tucked in close.

Phh­ht. No way. I’m not near as good with kids as you are.”

Yeah, you are.”

I just play with them. I don’t have to teach them.”

Well, I still know they like you a lot more than they like me.”

Oh, that’s not true. I’m just the new toy.”

No, no. It’s more than that.”

Dude, what’s up with you? You’re not a mope kind of girl.”

Yeah, this time I think I am.”

What’s up?”

They can smell it on you, you know?”

Smell what?”

The stuck. They smell the stuck on you a whole mile off. They don’t know what it is, but they can smell it.”

What do you mean, the stuck? Don’t whine. It’s not cute.”

I’m…I…it’s just…I don’t know.”

What? What? Girl, do you know what I would have done to have been stuck here with you?”

I know.”

No, you don’t know. You don’t know. So stop your whine.”

Please, please don’t bite my head off. I just…I just thought I could talk to you.”

Of course you can. But you know what I’ve got to say.”

It ain’t so bad?”

It ain’t so bad.”

But Kate, I can’t change things. I do things, I try things, and things don’t change. The kids don’t change. Their folks don’t change. My house don’t change. It’s all the same and all the time and it. just. does. not. change.”

What Kate could try to say, but what she could not say – some of them did go to save the world; and some did go to kill folks they’d been told, that they had long been made to think, been shaped to think, were not real folk at all. But these ways were true, in truth, for so few of them in their clean dress greens and boots. Kate had not gone to fight; she went to work. She had not gone to go out and see the world and the strange lands in it. She went to get the ghosts of coal and cow out of her life. There was cash and a house on the base, and the cash and the house were her own. And the job was her own, too. And there was more pay when she went to fight (though since she was a she, no one could say she had gone to fight), and less risk, in truth, than with coal or lots of jobs they had back home. A few short years, and one long tour, and you weren’t a kid from the sticks no more. In green and blue, you could be from all the towns, all the main streets, all the big shows where all the big things in them could be yours. And now she was back; with all of that, now she was back.

Does it have to?” was all she could say.

Yes.”

Joy? Would you have been here, with me, ten years ago?”

No.”

Would you want to have been?”

Yes.”

Well, then that’s changed. And don’t you like that that’s changed?’

Yeah. Yeah, I guess I do.”

If you build it up right, the roof of your life is flat. To make it slope up to a point, as if the rain won’t crush you in the end, well that’s just pride. Let some kid come and build her shed on top of yours, and if she don’t know that this smooth floor she lies on was once the place where you lined out the shapes of stars, it’s just as well. Let the barn fall down in its slow way with its drix. Let the last storm come and flash while you sleep through it. Spell out the words on the board in your dream of school: squelch, dearth, thrutched, schmaltz, horse. Let the horse in your dream run hard, let it take you home. Let it be the home you’d have if you could choose. And when you wake up and it’s not, go out in spite of that in your own strange way, and let your bad self dance and turn like the bright pocked moon you are. These things did not pull the weight back off from her. There’s no soft way to add the world up straight. She was still all the things she was, and some that some had made her out to be. And yet, she was still the spun hung moon that says: here comes the soft, white light of a long, slow snow with its clouds, in the pit of the world, which does not know it is the first long night of Spring. We learn, through the hard fight, how the mind can turn Fall from brown to gold, though the earth’s tinge does not change. With that, for that, what more is there to say?

praterMatt Prater is a poet and writer from Saltville, VA. Win­ner of both the George Scar­brough Prize for Poet­ry and the James Still Prize for Short Sto­ry, his work has appeared in a num­ber of jour­nals, includ­ing Appalachi­an Her­itage, The Hon­est Ulster­man, The Moth, and Still. He is cur­rent­ly an MFA can­di­date in poet­ry at Vir­ginia Tech.

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