Newbie Down Undah, poetry by Dennis Mahagin

After the Nar­cotics Anony­mous meet­ing, they stopped to chat
under a maple tree in the park­ing lot; she said to him "so… you
wan­na get cof­fee at the IHOP, hon?" He replied "awwww … some
place, yeah, but real­ly, any­where, but there." … They end­ed up
at the Denny's by Port­land State, in a win­dow booth across

from a counter that's the same every­where, real­ly, not so instant
replay, a Polaroid or forgery of one's name. When the coffee
came, she told of get­ting trapped on a cruise ship with this prick
named Tad, who talked and talked non­stop in a fake Australian
accent got real­ly old, real­ly quick, she said, tak­ing a ten­ta­tive sip

of cof­fee. He liked the way she opened the sug­ar pack­ets with a
gap in her front teeth, the lit­tle cream­er con­tain­ers suc­cumb­ing to
thumb nail. He said "well I can only imag­ine," look­ing up to see
the young Jamaican wait­ress in her Kel­ly green dress hum­ming One
by U2 as she held the mud­dy refill pot. His hand shook hovering

no thanks above his cup. She said this guy Tad kept say­ing things
like Oy! defen­es­tra­tion, sub­dur­al hematoma; red skies at night, stuff
like Crikey that's a knife. "It was bad," she said, "real­ly real­ly bad"
He nod­ded past his jit­ters, his naked, nascent sobri­etry; he said

"yeah, so, the pho­ny Aussie Tad, sad killer of the sea cruise," and she
gig­gled a lit­tle; they looked out the win­dow upon a dark­ened Arthur
Street, half past ten at night, swan's neck street­lights blaz­ing through
win­ter mist, hot­house globes the col­or of hon­ey. When she touched
his bare­ly trem­bling hand across the table, his reflec­tion in the glass

did the dou­ble take, he watched stol­id as any plas­tic Ken doll atop
a wed­ding cake. Then a voice came, said fuck­ing be your­self it can't

hurt for­ev­er; he said, "I've only ever rid­den a fer­ry… I guess the fact
is I've been very lone­ly." She was qui­et, as the wait­ress came back
with the same heart-shaped smile, dread­locks swing­ing, she set down
their check. They got up to pay, and she said "that's okay," squeezing
his hand, "on your worst day you're still thou­sands of light years ahead

of Tad." They laughed some more, she said, "so what is it any­way, you
got against IHOP, hon?" that was anoth­er sto­ry, tuck­ing her head into his
shoul­der, how he sup­posed lovers did, well on their way, and he tried
not to trip, through glass doors that rocked on a surf swell into the
night a pure alu­minum star gaz­er God may have right­ed the ship.

 

Den­nis Mahagin's poems and sto­ries appear in Juked, 42opus, Exquis­ite Corpse, Stir­ring, Absinthe Lit­er­ary Review, 3 A.M., Night Train, PANK, Sto­ry­glos­sia, and Smoke­long Quar­ter­ly, among oth­er pub­li­ca­tions. He is also an edi­tor of fic­tion and poet­ry at FRiGG mag­a­zine. Den­nis lives in Wash­ing­ton state.

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Don't Die Before Your Mother, prose by Mather Schneider

Out­side the hotel two lit­tle old ladies climbed into the back seat of the cab and felt the air conditioner.

2212 North Inn Road,” one of them said to the driver.

Are you sure it’s not North INA Road?” the dri­ver said into the rearview mir­ror. He had long scrag­gly brown hair and his eyes looked as red as a sunset.

No, no, no,” the same woman said. “2212 North Inn Road. I should know my own son’s address, shouldn’t I?”

The oth­er woman was silent.

2212 North Inn is the South Lawn Ceme­tery,” the dri­ver said.

No it’s not, it’s my son’s house,” she said. “What’s your name, Sir?”

"R.C.” the dri­ver said.

"Well, R.C.,” she said, “when we get there you’ll see.”

R.C. drove to the end of North Inn where the ceme­tery start­ed and then drove around and showed her that the road did not continue.

What else can hap­pen, Lin­da?” she said. “We came all the way from Chica­go, we put an ad in the paper that cost me a hun­dred and forty dol­lars, and now the cab dri­ver doesn’t know where John’s house is.”

Ma’am,” R.C. said. “You have the wrong address.”

She explod­ed. “I DON’T HAVE THE WRONG ADDRESS! JESUS! What’s going on? First my son goes and croaks on me, and now I’ve got to deal with all this.”

Lin­da nod­ded and kept her fat hands in her fat lap. R.C. called my boss at dispatch.

"They’ve got the address wrong,” R.C.’s boss blurt­ed over the crack­ling radio. “She must be talk­ing about North Ina.”

You tell that lady she is in the wrong busi­ness,” the old woman said, point­ing her wrin­kled old fin­ger at the radio.

She’s been dri­ving a cab in this town for thir­ty years,” R.C. said.

"Look,” she said, “my son is dead. I have to find his house and sell it. Ok?”

I’m sor­ry.”

Do your moth­er a favor,” she said. “Get a wife. Get a wife so your moth­er doesn’t have to deal with it when you croak. You married?”

Yes,” R.C. said.

Good boy,” she said.

R.C. pulled into the park­ing lot of a gas sta­tion and parked.

"John ate fast food every day,” the woman said. “He was a bach­e­lor. He moved here when he was nine­teen, and that’s just what bach­e­lors do, they eat fast food and don’t wor­ry about it.”

Can’t you call some­one about the address?” R.C. said.

I don’t have a phone,” she said. “Do you think every­one in the world has a cell phone?”

R.C. hand­ed her his cell phone.

Who am I going to call?” she said.

You could call Melanie, Diane,” Lin­da said quietly.

I guess I could call Melanie,” Diane said.

She man­aged to dial the num­ber in 3 attempts.

Be there, Mel,” Diane said, while it rang. “For once in your life, be there—Hello Mel, it’s mom…” She sighed as she real­ized it was only an answer­ing machine.

R.C., frus­trat­ed, pulled back onto the road and head­ed back toward their hotel.

Then she got busy with that phone.

Isn’t any­one home?” she said.

She final­ly got a busy sig­nal. She wait­ed a minute and then called the num­ber again. It rang, and rang, kept ringing.

It was busy a minute ago,” Diane said.

Some vaca­tion,” Lin­da said, look­ing out the win­dow at the bril­liant day. Three blocks from their hotel, at Riv­er and Camp­bell, by mir­a­cle a human being was con­tact­ed. How­ev­er, Diane couldn’t seem to get the per­son on the oth­er line to under­stand the sit­u­a­tion. So she hand­ed the phone to R.C.

Hel­lo?” he said.

The oth­er per­son on the line turned out to be a nine­ty three year old woman in Sum­mum, Illinois.

Do you know where we are going?” R.C. said loudly.

Yes,” the old woman on the phone said.

How do we get there?” he said.

Where are you now?” the old woman said.

On Riv­er Road.”

That’s not where it is,” the old woman said.

You don’t say,” he said.

It’s a long way from there,” the old woman said.

What’s the clos­est cross street?”

It’s off of Park Avenue…”

He hung up.

Well?” Diane said accus­ing­ly. “You fig­ure it out?”

It’s on North INA,” R.C. said.

Diane sank back in her seat, and braced her­self for the g‑forces of R.C.’s u‑turn.

Lin­da had a slight smile on her face.

R.C. dropped them off at 2212 North Ina. The meter said $74.45. He only charged them 50 bucks because he felt sor­ry for them.

Diane told R.C. they need­ed a ride back to the hotel at 4 that after­noon. They were not going to sleep in a dead man’s house. It would be anoth­er 50, so R.C. agreed.

When he showed up at 4 to take them back to the hotel, they were stand­ing in the yard behind the closed secu­ri­ty gate. It was heavy steel, about 6 feet tall. When he had dropped them off Diane had point­ed the lit­tle hand-held remote and the gate jumped to life, slid­ing slow­ly against the 6 foot cement wall which sur­round­ed the rest of the prop­er­ty. Then they had walked in and shut the gate behind them.

Now the thing wouldn’t open. There was no oth­er gate to walk through, which seemed odd. R.C. won­dered about the strange son who had died before his moth­er. He pulled up and got out and looked at them stand­ing in there like cap­tured ani­mals, half blind in the after­noon sun. Diane had white, short cropped hair. She remind­ed R.C. of an effem­i­nate man. Lin­da was His­pan­ic. She had dark skin with hun­dreds of lit­tle brown moles all over the sides of her face and neck. She used a cane because of a bad right hip.

Damn thing won’t work,” Diane said. “Can you believe this?”

She asked R.C. for his phone and while she used it he tried the gate-open­er, press­ing the sin­gle but­ton on it over and over like an idiot.

They stood there, look­ing at each oth­er through the bars, R.C. on one side, them on the other.

I can’t wait here all day,” R.C. said.

Go on, go on,” Diane shooed him away. “We’ll call the fire depart­ment and they’ll come and get us out of here.”

R.C. stood there. They didn’t even have a god damned phone.

He climbed over the fence with some difficulty.

There must be a switch or some­thing,” he said, out of breath.
They looked every­where, inside and out­side the house. No switches.

R.C. saw a lad­der in the back yard of the neighbor’s house. He knocked on the door but no one answered, so he went around back and grabbed it.

How’s Lin­da going to climb a lad­der?” Diane said.

"We could try,” R.C. said. Lin­da gave a small nod of consent.

He leaned the lad­der against the wall and held it.

Ok, Lin­da,” he said.

I’ve got you,” he said, hold­ing the lad­der while Lin­da slow­ly lift­ed her left foot up to the first rung. She reached the sec­ond rung and then the third, one at a time, each a great effort. If she top­pled back­wards with her weight there wouldn’t be any­thing R.C. could do about it.

At the top she cel­e­brat­ed with a “Hur­rah!” Then she real­ized she could not lift her leg up over the wall.

Try going up back­ward,” R.C. said.

The slow process began again down­wards and then she turned around and start­ed to put her foot up backwards.

Like this?” she said.

You can do it.”

She did it. At the top, she moved, one inch at a time, her fat ass onto the wide flat top of the cement block wall. R.C. put his hand on the pen­du­lous wad­dle of her upper arm. She got both her legs over and was sit­ting on the wall with me and was quite hap­py about her accom­plish­ment. She gig­gled. He moved the lad­der over the fence and hopped over and sit­u­at­ed the lad­der under Lin­da from the oth­er side.

Ok,” he said. “Come on down.” She began to low­er her­self and we held our breath.

All this time Diane was talk­ing on the cell phone.

Yes, Mel,” Diane was say­ing, “we tried that. We’ve tried every­thing. No, I can’t get hold of Bill. I can’t get hold of Bill and the cab driver’s here and it already cost me 73 dol­lars for the cab ride, and he couldn’t find the address and then we stayed out here all after­noon and no buy­ers showed up…”

R.C. not­ed what she said about the fare being 73 dol­lars, instead of the 50.

…they got a lad­der,” Diane said, “What?…Yes, Linda’s going over right now.”

Diane smiled at Lin­da who was just then reach­ing the ground on the oth­er side.

Land,” Lin­da said, like a sailor after months at sea.

…Ok,” Diane said. “Bye.”

Diane hand­ed the phone up to R.C. “My daugh­ter,” she said. “She lives in Michi­gan. I thought she might know some­thing. But of course she didn’t. Watch, she’ll die on me next.”

She nim­bly climbed up the lad­der and over the wall, a reg­u­lar gymnast.

Now do you see?” Diane said to me, shak­ing the gate con­troller at me. “Can you blame me? What else can hap­pen? I can’t believe this.”
“Some vaca­tion,” Lin­da said.

But you climbed the lad­der,” R.C. said.

I can’t believe I did it,” she beamed. “What was I thinking?”

Let’s get the hell out of here,” Diane said. “If John was here I’d kick his ass, I swear I would.”

They climbed into the cab and were laugh­ing by the time they were half way back.

R.C. radioed dis­patch and they talked and joked about it. The dis­patch­er said, “I guess we all learned a lit­tle les­son today.”

R.C. showed Diane and Lin­da a bak­ery near their hotel and sug­gest­ed they have break­fast there. He rolled up to the hotel doors. Diane paid, includ­ing a tiny tip. They moaned and groaned with the creak­ing of old bones as they climbed out of the cab and stood on the side­walk. They waved good­bye and dis­ap­peared into the resort lobby.

232 Clear,” he said into the radio mike.

10−4, 232,” the dis­patch­er said.

R.C. sat there for a minute. Then he slow­ly drove over to Jacob’s Park, where he found a shady spot and parked the cab. He dialed a num­ber on his cell phone, back in Illi­nois, and put it to his ear.

 

I was born in Peo­ria, Illi­nois in 1970 and have lived in Tuc­son, Ari­zona for the past 14 years. I love it here, love the desert, love the Mex­i­can cul­ture (most of it), and I love the heat. I have one full-length book of poet­ry out called DROUGHT RESISTANT STRAIN by Inte­ri­or Noise Press and anoth­er called HE TOOK A CAB from New York Quar­ter­ly Press. I have had over 500 poems and sto­ries pub­lished since 1993 and I am cur­rent­ly work­ing on a book of prose.

 

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The Ballad of Billy Joe Fitz, fiction by Misty Skaggs

Well that was a blast!” My fiancée exclaimed as he stuffed his long body and tight Wran­glers into the pas­sen­ger seat of my beat up Ford Focus.

I rolled my eyes in a big dra­mat­ic way and turned the key in the igni­tion. While I tugged at the straps of my black sun­dress and regret­ted not wear­ing a bra, Bill stuck his shag­gy head out the win­dow like a half-blind sheep dog. He waved wild­ly to the gag­gle of rel­a­tives once removed gath­ered in the grass of the yel­lowed front lawn to see us off. He shout­ed his best twangy “Bye ya’lls!” and “Take cares!” at the top of his lungs. I didn’t look back; too busy fight­ing the lump in my throat. The trusty lit­tle motor groaned, but then sprang to life.

Funer­als are not fun,” I replied, wig­gling into the seat, find­ing the worn out spot where my bony ass belonged on these long dri­ves south to my grand­par­ents’ defunct farm.

The dri­ve was becom­ing more and more famil­iar because it had been hap­pen­ing more and more often late­ly. Bill seemed sud­den­ly excit­ed to inter­act with my fam­i­ly. The same ones he’d referred to as “brain­washed red­neck hicks” the first time he met them. We’d slept in the barn on East­er and on the fold­away couch for two nights of Memo­r­i­al Day Week­end. Christ­mas was com­ing up quick. I sighed.

Ooh. No. Well, I didn’t mean it like that…” He awk­ward­ly twist­ed at his bushy, trendy mus­tache and searched for the right thing to say. “I’m sor­ry your Papaw passed, Carlene.”

Wasn’t my Papaw no ways.” I assert­ed as I lit up a Kool and inspect­ed my French tips.

I couldn’t stop the small smile that snuck across my men­thol fla­vored lips. Maybe funer­als were fun after all. My grand­moth­er had looked hap­py for the first time in my life­time. My child­hood tor­men­tor was final­ly van­quished by old age. Bill laughed. Big and loud, break­ing my con­cen­tra­tion. I glanced over at him, tak­ing my time as we chugged slow­ly up the road — watch­ing beams of late-fall sun­shine dance down through the canopy to flat­ter his face. He was hand­some, but still. Bill was no Burt Reynolds. In spite of the lux­u­ri­ous­ly hairy chest and upper lip and the charm­ing smile sparkling in his eyes. No mat­ter how many West­ern shirts he bought at the Good­will. Even though he found that tacky gold chain at the flea mar­ket. Bill was no Bandit.

I love it when I get to come home with you. The ver­nac­u­lar real­ly comes back. You said ‘no ways’ and I count­ed like, four ‘aint’s’ today! And a ‘reck­on’. My lit­tle Ellie Mae!” he reached out to lay a heavy hand on my thigh.

Fuck you and fuck the Clam­petts,” I meant it.

I swat­ted his warm palm away from the knee he found under my black skirt. That shut him up for the first time all week­end. The next few miles were qui­et except for the half-bro­ken buzz of the heater and the crunch of grav­el beneath my tires. I hat­ed that sound when I was a kid. I squeezed my eyes closed tight and imag­ined a mon­ster, grind­ing bones between his false teeth, wear­ing over­alls but no shirt. That sound meant com­ing back to the only hor­ri­ble place I could real­ly call home. That sound was a sick­en­ing grum­ble, lead­ing to a sharp right turn that fol­lowed a dirt path back in time where women were prop­er­ty and what went on behind closed doors was nobody’s busi­ness. I heard it for the first time when I was four years old and my moth­er packed her bags in the mid­dle of the night and point­ed her VW Rab­bit for­ev­er north. Frankly I don’t remem­ber much about Mommy.

The sto­ries Granny told were ide­al­ized. At night, espe­cial­ly in the fall like this, she’d talk for hours on end about my moth­er while the brisk wind was creep­ing in through cracks around the foun­da­tion and freez­ing our toes. When we were hud­dled togeth­er in the same broke down bed my moth­er was a prodi­gal daugh­ter, a flower too beau­ti­ful to flour­ish in the used up dirt of our crag­gy bot­tom land. She had to be for­giv­en for allow­ing her roots to spread. In Granny’s mind, she would return to us some­day. Save us both. Car­ry us off like fall­en petals to a far more, del­i­cate place

The sto­ries Pop Orey told were demo­nized. They were lurid sketch­es of my moth­er the whore, caught in her biki­ni, grind­ing up on some farm boy next to the cow pond. His anec­dotes were relayed in the most uncom­fort­able places and ways. His anec­dotes were designed to make me squirm and feel sick. He would laugh hard at the din­ner table and rub at his shriv­eled up eye, press­ing it closed with a wrin­kled fist. I knew he could still see her there in that dark place in his mind, young and lithe and com­pro­mised. By him. I remem­ber think­ing that she must be able to feel his dirty, half-blind glare no mat­ter where she was. That was our con­nec­tion. I grew to know and dread that look. I learned to sneak out the win­dow almost every night to escape into the arms of some good ol’ boy and the cab of his truck.

My one and only first hand mem­o­ry of Mom­my was the way she rat­ted her bangs up even big­ger on the front seat of the tiny green car that morn­ing when we slid into the mud­dy dri­ve­way of Granny’s house. She was frozen in my mind, puck­er­ing in the rearview and drag­ging the slick, scar­let point of her lip­stick across that fun­ny face. It made me gig­gle then. My moth­er is the lin­ger­ing smell of Aqua Net and cheap per­fume poured on too thick. A young stranger in acid wash and a hal­ter top.

Bill brushed an arm against my body reach­ing for the radio and I jumped out of my skin. Hot ash bumped against my fin­gers and drib­bled down to my leg. I smashed it against my black jer­sey skirt and made a hot gray smudge.

O that old rugged cross, so despised by the world, has a won­drous attrac­tion for me… 

Strains of a hymn every­one knew blast­ed out of the huge speak­ers Bill had installed in my trunk back when he was so into indus­tri­al music. The voice was a high lone­some whine, quiv­er­ing with the fer­vor of the Holy Ghost.

Where do they find these peo­ple?” he asked.

That’s Mrs. Mar­lene Reynolds-Rowe-Wright.” I mumbled.

Bill guf­fawed. I can’t think of any oth­er word for it. He brayed like a damned donkey.

Are you seri­ous? How would you know? That name is pret­ty price­less though.” He smirked.

I lived here for six­teen years with no tele­vi­sion. And on a Sun­day after­noon Mrs. Mar­lene is on basi­cal­ly every FM sta­tion. Her dad­dy and both of her hus­bands preached. Two out of three were evan­ge­lists.” I cracked the win­dow and tossed out my cig­a­rette butt. “Good mon­ey in it I guess.”

Mrs. Mar­lene had fin­ished up, but the old rugged cross was get­ting no rest. Rev­erend Wright dra­mat­i­cal­ly hic­cupped for air, engulfed in the will of the Bap­tist Lord and spread­ing His gospel in gasps over the air waves.

Jeeeeesus Christ!” I com­plained instead of exalting.

My long fin­gers dart­ed out and mashed the but­ton clos­est to me. The voice of the guy from Swap Shop two coun­ties over droned on ten dec­i­mals too loud­ly about mixed Bea­gle pups for sale or trade.

You’re no fun.” Bill pouted.

I won­dered why he still thought that pout­ing was cute as I fum­bled blind­ly in the con­sole for anoth­er smoke and paused at a shot-up STOP sign. Then I won­dered why my radio favorites were tuned to the local sta­tions here instead of the trendy col­lege sta­tions back home in our trendy col­lege town. Bill reached for the dial and turned down the vol­ume, he flipped through the fuzz and pop country.

I’m in search of more Mrs. Mar­lene. And I’m also going to start call­ing you Ms. Car­lene. Ha! You keep smok­ing those old lady men­thol lights… ” He reached into his shirt pock­et for a pack of Lucky Strikes.

It had cost him two extra bucks to look like cool­ness unfiltered.

Don’t.” I snapped. “And Mrs. Mar­lene Wright would nev­er smoke. It makes a woman look old.”

How would you know? Did you ever meet her? She’s a local act, right?”

Granny knows her.” I said and laughed at the idea of Mrs. Mar­lene referred to as an act.

It came out more as a cough meets grunt.

Whaaat? Iva and Mrs. Mar­lene are friends? That’s got to be hilar­i­ous. I bet she has big hair. And lots of make-up, Tam­my Faye style.”

She makes the best pota­to sal­ad on earth,” was all I could think to say.

We pulled out onto the main road and Bill was qui­et as he stum­bled upon Mrs. Mar­lene doing her trem­bling sopra­no ver­sion of Amaz­ing Grace. He stared out the win­dow at the scenery, stroking his mus­tache one hand­ed and smok­ing with the oth­er. I could tell he was try­ing hard to look pen­sive and rev­er­ent when he checked him­self out in the pas­sen­ger side mirror.

I thought back to Mrs. Mar­lene stand­ing in Granny’s qui­et lit­tle kitchen slic­ing up car­rots and shelling beans.  She was the only friend I ever remem­ber Granny hav­ing. And Mrs. Mar­lene wasn’t Tam­my Faye. She was nat­ur­al and ethe­re­al and grace­ful. Her man­ners and per­son­al­i­ty were as sweet as her voice. I stared at her fin­gers as I leaned on the counter and she hummed some old coun­try song. Every sin­gle bean snapped and shelled per­fect­ly to the will of her del­i­cate touch.

Bill was dis­tract­ed gawk­ing at trail­er park res­i­dents as we neared what passed for town. I rolled down the win­dow and exhaled deeply, map­ping the place in my mind. First you dri­ve past the Dairy Queen on the left and a park­ing lot packed with bored small-town teenagers. Next there’s the high school. And the brand new, state of the art, pub­lic library — half-filled with the same smelly, moldy paper­backs from the old pub­lic library. There was the nurs­ing home and a low income hous­ing com­plex; the “Get TAN! And Video!” and the only drug store I know of where you can still get floats at the counter. I didn’t tell Bill about that. That quaint­ness was strict­ly for me to share with choco­late soda. Two gas sta­tions, one of which was also a gen­er­al store, were placed strate­gi­cal­ly on the far ends of the main strip. As we pulled up past the first gas sta­tion, I breathed in Bra­zier and had to lean towards the evening air.

Let’s get milk­shakes!” Bill suggested.

I’m going to puke.” I retorted.

No. Fuck­ing. Fun.” He slumped in his seat, drum­ming his long fin­gers on the dash and pulling one knee up to buff a spot out of his snake-skin cow­boy boots with a nap­kin he found in the floor board.

Can we at least stop at the gen­er­al store? Your cousin said they sell plug tobac­co. That twisty kind your Granny chews,” he continued.

Wild Duck,” I said flatly.

Why thank you, Ms. Car­lene, dar­lin’! I had plumb for­got what it was called,” he fake drawled. My stom­ach made an angry rum­ble in response to his giggles.

When I met Bill, he was William. William Joseph Fitzwell Jr., a his­to­ry stu­dent with a pony tail and an acoustic gui­tar and a dog-eared, paper­back copy of Howl in his cliché back pock­et. Now I lived with a mon­ster I had prob­a­bly helped to cre­ate. It sud­den­ly occurred to me that I planned to mar­ry a fic­tion­al per­sona. Bil­ly Joe Fitz. I was rid­ing through my home town with a sub­ur­ban­ite skater boy turned wannabe hill­bil­ly and I felt ill. The guilt remind­ed me I was a sell-out. A trai­tor. Too good for my rais­ing. I escaped and left it all behind, with­out the cour­tesy of look­ing back. I was my moth­er. Only worse. Now I had brought in an inter­lop­er, some­one to cash in on the nov­el­ty of my cul­ture. An out­sider to laugh at how excit­ed my Granny was about her new indoor toilet.

Yeah, we can stop at the gas sta­tion sug­ar.” I fake drawled back.

The gears were in motion. I had made up my mind.

That’s more like it, woman!” he chuckled.

He didn’t even notice my hands shak­ing on the wheel as I whipped into the bust­ed asphalt park­ing lot. Bill bounced out of my car and swag­gered into the store. Iri­des­cent threads glit­tered in his new but vin­tage “cow­boy shirt”. As soon as he had mount­ed the steps and cleared the screen door, I rum­maged through my purse until I found a piece of paper, a bust­ed pen and a rub­ber band. After jot­ting out a note, I wrapped the white scrap around my cell phone and snapped the band into place. With bare­ly a grunt, I kicked three big plas­tic suit­cas­es out of the back seat and dropped the phone on top of the pile. I saw him in the rear view as I pulled out, trot­ting down the wood­en steps with a chaw in his mouth. I turned back the way I had come. His jaw dropped and his chaw dropped and tobac­co juice drib­bled from the cor­ners of his hip mus­tache as he read the note I’d left behind -

It’s over.

Don’t try to call. 

You know me and Granny ain’t got no phone out here in the sticks. 

Triple A will be here to pick up William Fitzwell in the next two hours. 

Bil­ly Joe Fitz might be shit out of luck. 

Now that Pop was dead and six feet under, Granny and I wouldn’t hide under the cov­ers and whis­per in fear of reper­cus­sion any­more. The nor­mal­ly drab lit­tle house would be filled with the smell of funer­al flow­ers and rebirth. Tonight Granny and I would sit at the kitchen table in our paja­mas and turn on all the elec­tric lights like Pop would nev­er let us do. We would drink sas­safras tea and eat black­ber­ry cob­bler and lis­ten to Mrs. Marlene’s old timey hour at ten p.m. Tonight we would get out the farmer’s almanac and get into the moon­shine and decide which veg­eta­bles to put out by the signs of the moon come spring.

 

Misty Skag­gs, 29, cur­rent­ly resides on her Mamaw’s couch way out at the end of Bear Town Ridge Road where she is slow­ly amass­ing a library of con­tem­po­rary fic­tion under the cof­fee table and per­fect­ing her but­ter­milk bis­cuits. Her gravy, how­ev­er, still tastes like wall­pa­per paste. She is cur­rent­ly tak­ing the scenic route through high­er edu­ca­tion at More­head State Uni­ver­si­ty and hopes to com­plete her BFA in Cre­ative Writing…eventually. Misty won the Judy Rogers Award for Fic­tion with her sto­ry “Ham­burg­ers" and has had both poet­ry and prose pub­lished in Lime­stone and Inscape lit­er­ary jour­nals. Her short series of poems enti­tled “Hill­bil­ly Haiku" will also be fea­tured in the upcom­ing edi­tion of New Madrid. She will be read­ing from her chap­book, Pre­scrip­tion Panes, at the Appalachi­an Stud­ies Con­fer­ence in Indi­ana, Penn­syl­va­nia in March. When she isn’t writ­ing, Misty enjoys tak­ing long, woodsy walks with her three cats and watch­ing Dirty Har­ry with her nine­ty six year old great grandmother.

 

 

 

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Angels and Angels, fiction by Caroline Kepnes

Aun­tie Lee has all day par­ties and Mama says it’s got to be a hun­dred degrees out­side. That’s how I know it’s sum­mer again. Mama says next sum­mer we’ll get air con­di­tion­ing and next sum­mer we’ll take a big vaca­tion, cross coun­try, with Aun­tie Lee to Cal­i­for­nia where we’ll go on a game show and win red cars. The she huffs and says, “The big ‘if’ being if your Aun­tie Lee can sober up.” I want to believe her, but that’s what she said last sum­mer, and this sum­mer we’re not going so I don’t know. She says it’s because our finan­cial flow­ers haven’t yet bloomed and then she scratch­es her head and smiles quite uncon­vinc­ing­ly I must say. Tomor­row is the Fourth of July and we’re not going to Aun­tie Lee’s to see the fire­works. Mama says Aun­tie Lee gets fire­works all year long from her dope. It’s fun­ny though, I didn’t know Aun­tie Lee had a dope because I nev­er met him and if she lived with some­one else I think I’d know.

Some­times I stay up late and lis­ten to Mama talk on the phone to the friends we got. She says if Lee don’t stop shoot­ing up she’s gonna die soon, even with all the mon­ey she made from deal­ing because mon­ey can’t go into your arms and save you. Mama says all she does is deal and shoot up and deal and shoot up over and over again. I’d like to think I know Aun­tie Lee pret­ty well, but I nev­er knew she liked shoot­ing guns up in the air. When I ask Mama about Aun­tie Lee’s shoot­ing up Mama says it’s not what I think, and I’m too young to know it. Mama tells her friends that she should know it’s a hard thing to stop doing, she says one time a long time ago she couldn’t stop either. Mama says it gives you a feel­ing like noth­ing else and that she miss­es it every day. I know lots about my mama, but this shoot­ing up, it makes me won­der. I can’t pic­ture her with a gun.

I might go to Aun­tie Lee’s while Mama’s not look­ing. Mama doesn’t like me to be there. I snuck over once before, when Mama was talk­ing about Lee’s angel dust friends. I love angels. At Christ­mas, Mama and I cut up angels out of paper and tape them all over the house. When I asked Aun­tie Lee about angel dust, she said it’s a dif­fer­ent kind of angel, a bet­ter one. Then she gave me some­thing and made me cross my heart and hope to die before I told Mama. She called it angel dust. Angel dust makes me feel very free, like a bird, with all things bright and beau­ti­ful and rain­bows and uni­corns. Mama says Aun­tie Lee does it to escape real­i­ty, like that Uncle Jack is gone and now she runs around with Hell’s Angels. I didn’t know that angels can come from hell but I guess it makes sense if you think about it. Hell and Heav­en are both out in the beyond where you don’t have leaky faucets or over­alls, you just have what’s you on the inside. Mama says it’s good to escape from every­thing and we all need to once in a while and that you can’t go around judg­ing peo­ple for how they like to escape. You can only wor­ry for them. She also says it’s dan­ger­ous and that cops don’t like it and they’ll lock you up for using it. It seems crazy that the police would not want peo­ple to be hap­py because hap­py peo­ple don’t do bad things. I still have a lit­tle angel dust left and Aun­tie Lee says to save it for a time when things get so bad that I want to go away to peace and love. Then all her weird friends with the long hair and the loud leather laugh and laugh about noth­ing. They say they’re high but I can see that they’re right here near me.

So I wake up ear­ly the next morn­ing and I watch the big boy on the cor­ner sell stuff. Maybe he’s sell­ing angel dust, who knows. He once gave me a stick­er and told me that hold­ing the stick­er would take me on a roller coast­er of rain­bows. Actu­al­ly, no. that was the first boy. One night I heard a loud noise like a fire­crack­er and lots of sirens. I nev­er saw that boy again. Then one day there was a new boy, like the old boy, only small­er, with new stuff that Mama said was the same as the old stuff. That was when Lucy and Susan stopped com­ing over to my house because their moms said it wasn’t safe here because of deal­ers and crack hous­es. None of the hous­es on my street have cracks in them. Some have boards on the win­dows but no cracks. What crazy mamas Lucy and Susan got.

I walk to my Aunt Lee’s house and knock on the door. She has lots of friends over and they’re all trip­ping or some­thing. They drink punch that makes them trip but they don’t fall on the floor. My mama’s punch doesn’t make me trip and Aun­tie Lee must not know how to make punch right. She comes up to me and picks me up and swings me around so that my feet fly. Her eyes are all fuzzy and she must have had lots of punch because she can’t stand good. She’s like a baby learn­ing to walk and I ask her about shoot­ing up because I hear her friends talk­ing about that but the music is loud­er than I think it’s ever been and she can’t hear me over it.

She puts me down and yells. “What?” And she takes some sug­ar and puts it in her nose. She calls it coke which is stu­pid because Coke is brown and comes in a can. She says I might like it and I am thirsty so I say okay and we go into the oth­er room where there are mir­rors on all the tables and peo­ple sit on the floor. The big Hell’s Angels look fun­ny on the floor, like they have so many mus­cles that they can’t sit nor­mal Indi­an style or any­thing and Aun­tie Lee tells me to sit down and a guy with a great big mus­tache gets up as soon as I sit down as if I have cooties and tells Aun­tie Lee that she’s a sick woman and she says to for­get about him and she gives me a straw but I still don’t have a glass of coke but she says the straw goes in my nose. We do this at school some­times. Well, main­ly the boys do it. They stick straws in all the holes on their faces and wave their arms around. Aun­tie Lee says I’m sup­posed to breathe in the sug­ar on the mir­ror into my nose and it will make me feel real­ly good. Maybe if you bake a can of Coke it’s just sug­ar and I want to ask her but she’s nap­ping so I do like she said and–

Sud­den­ly the room is every­where and I can­not stop laugh­ing and I am the best girl in the world and it is almost too good to be true that I get to be me and then it’s gone and the room is black and bad and I am on the ceil­ing look­ing at me on the floor. I look dead. Like I’m play­ing dead in a mur­der mys­tery game. I try to pick myself up but I don’t know how and now Aun­tie Lee is awake because one of the Angels kicked her and she’s try­ing to wake me up and she’s crying.

Wake up, baby. Wake up.”

But I am not wak­ing up even though I’m awake on my insides because I know I am. I can see. Noth­ing looks the same now. It’s like watch­ing a screen and some­times I am the movie and some­times I am the audience.

The next thing I see is the grave­yard near my school. The weep­ing wil­lows are all there, swish­ing. My fam­i­ly is there, swish­ing. Every­one is swish, swish, shake. Some of my friends from school are there but not all of them. Mama is giv­ing Aun­tie Lee evil eyes and I don’t under­stand why they didn’t bring me here. Where am I? Who’s watch­ing me? Mama nev­er lets me stay home alone. Then I remem­ber the last time I can remem­ber feel­ing some­thing in my body. It was when the big Angel stood up fast, when he was mad at Aun­tie Lee, and his boot touched my book and he said sor­ry right before he went.

I stay in the sky now and I won­der and I watch and I wish I had some of that spe­cial coke but I know I won’t ever have it because I don’t have my body any­more which means I don’t have my nose. I wal­low. I’m lazy bones and if Mama were here she’d yell at me to go out and build some­thing in the back­yard. Some­times I see angels, the ones with wings, all white and del­i­cate. They don’t have angel dust. They don’t make me feel uni­corns and rain­bows. They’re like the ones you try and make in the snow when school is closed and you’re in your snow­suit out­side on your back­side look­ing up. I’d rather have the oth­er kind. I can’t help it. The angel dust, or the Angels from Hell who put you on your lap and let you sit on their bike. My baby sis­ter would think I’m crazy. She’s just a tod­dler so she still thinks these angels are the best, you know, because they’re good and inno­cent and all sky­ward and pure. I won­der who would win in a fight, one of these or one of my angels. It’s pret­ty bor­ing up here. I have time to think about this stuff. And I guess if I have to stay here for­ev­er, well I guess if I could go back I would stick to coke you drink and angels you make in the snow. Not that it mat­ters. If I went back now, Mama would be so mad at me for going that it wouldn’t be much fun anyway.

 Caro­line Kep­nes has been split­ting her time between her home in Los Ange­les, CA  and her par­ents' home on Cape Cod, MA. Her fic­tion has been pub­lished in or is forth­com­ing in The Barcelona Review, Cal­liope, Dogz­plot, Eclec­tica,The Oth­er Room and Word Riot. She spent the past few months writ­ing a young adult nov­el The Dig that's avail­able on all e‑book plat­forms. Her YA pen name is Audrey Hart. In her spare time she enjoys read­ing about meth lab busts, Florid­i­an crim­i­nal activ­i­ty and wild animals.

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Party Parasites, fiction by Misty Skaggs

When the day slips away, the mos­qui­toes come out. And bare skin brings the bugs. Not so far in the dis­tance, she can hear them shak­ing off stag­na­tion among the cat­tails and she wish­es wist­ful­ly that her jeans weren’t shoved down around her ankles. The buzzing comes drift­ing to her even over the bland and labored breath against her eardrum. The buzzing comes over the stink of Skoal spit pool­ing in the del­i­cate pit where her shoul­der meets her neck. The fran­tic beat of the winged cloud ris­ing from their cool roost in the moist mud is loud, loud­er. Loud­est. And the coun­try air is clear, car­ry­ing the sound of the insects unob­struct­ed. Aside from a fer­vent grunt and an echoed, half-ass, half moan. It occurs to her vague­ly that they want her blood. Mos­qui­toes are par­ty par­a­sites, she thinks. They live short and drink hard, ten days to exist and to fuck and to die.

There’s a light tick­ling touch on her skin when they get brave enough to land below her waist. It isn’t unpleas­ant, but it nev­er lasts. What she feels deeply is the sting of pen­e­tra­tion and the desire to scratch an itch. And the fleet­ing fear of dis­ease. She tries not to scratch and slap at the prob­ing pests. She thinks of after­noons on the creek bank with a good look­ing felon who had the decen­cy to keep a blan­ket and cold beer in his Mamaw’s wick­er bas­ket. She’s cov­ered in sweat but not sweat­ing. The bugs can smell it.

 

Misty Skag­gs, 29, cur­rent­ly resides on her Mamaw’s couch way out at the end of Bear Town Ridge Road where she is slow­ly amass­ing a library of con­tem­po­rary fic­tion under the cof­fee table and per­fect­ing her but­ter­milk bis­cuits. Her gravy, how­ev­er, still tastes like wall­pa­per paste. She is cur­rent­ly tak­ing the scenic route through high­er edu­ca­tion at More­head State Uni­ver­si­ty and hopes to com­plete her BFA in Cre­ative Writing…eventually.

Misty won the Judy Rogers Award for Fic­tion with her sto­ry “Ham­burg­ers" and has had both poet­ry and prose pub­lished in Lime­stone and Inscape lit­er­ary jour­nals. Her short series of poems enti­tled “Hill­bil­ly Haiku" will also be fea­tured in the upcom­ing edi­tion of New Madrid. She will be read­ing from her chap­book, Pre­scrip­tion Panes, at the Appalachi­an Stud­ies Con­fer­ence in Indi­ana, Penn­syl­va­nia in March. When she isn’t writ­ing, Misty enjoys tak­ing long, woodsy walks with her three cats and watch­ing Dirty Har­ry with her nine­ty six year old great grandmother.

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Highlight of the Day, poem by Sheri Wright

Her youngest crawls through the dog's dish,

then back again to retrieve a red Fruit-Loop

float­ing in water. 

She sits under­neath her crack­le of blonde hair – 

three shades of peroxide 

streaked like chick­en trails through straw,

while the TV screen flash­es her time

like rid­ing out the week­end on the fumes of her clunker

through town, mark­ing moments in backseats

bribed with beer – hers, theirs, doesn't matter,

but leave her a tall-boy for the road

why don't you.

 

She thinks of that Mor­ris boy, slink­ing through Sat­ur­day night

like a shot of Mescal, the burn released in his hips,

flashed for the cher­ry-picked few under neon.

Wouldn't she show him

if she could get a hold of his Good Time Charlie,

show him that pret­ty doesn't count in the dark,

isn't wor­ried over phone num­bers left uncalled,

that a good Bap­tist upbringing 

can be tossed away like an emp­ty can of beer.

 

Sheri L. Wright is the author of five books of poet­ry, includ­ing the most recent, The Slow Talk Of Stones. Her works of poet­ry appear in numer­ous jour­nals includ­ing New South­ern­er, Out of Line, Chi­ron Review, Clark Street Review, Dark­ling and Earth's Daugh­ters, Cru­cible and Ken­tucky Month­ly Mag­a­zine. Ms. Wright was nom­i­nat­ed for a Push­cart Prize for her piece, The Ten­ants Of Cen­tral Park , in 2011. She also works as a free-lance edi­tor and as a ghost­writer for web­sites such as Proud Sin­gle Moms and Death​care​.com. She has been a guest poet on Accents, at 88.1 on WRFL out of Lex­ing­ton, Ky. and on Jan­ice Lee “Fea­tur­ing The Arts” on WSKV in Stan­ton, Ky. She has won awards with Jesse Poets, Green Riv­er Writ­ers and the Ken­tucky State Poet­ry Soci­ety, has read exten­sive­ly through­out the Kentucky/Indiana area and has also appeared at New York city’s Cor­nelia Street Café. She has been a vol­un­teer edi­tor for This I Believe. Ms. Wright has taught poet­ry work­shops for Women in Tran­si­tion, the Ken­tucky Young Writer’s Con­nec­tion and The Ken­tucky State Poet­ry Soci­ety, judged the poet­ry divi­sion in The Gold­en Nibs for the Vir­ginia Writ­ers Club, for Women Who Write and for Green Riv­er Writ­ers writ­ing con­test. She is a region­al chair for the Ken­tucky State Poet­ry soci­ety and is co-chair for their adult poet­ry con­test for 2011. Ms. Wright cur­rent­ly is the host of From The Inkwell, a one hour radio show ded­i­cat­ed to all things lit­er­ary on CHRa­dio 1650am, live-stream­ing at www​.Cres​centHill​Ra​dio​.com. Please vis­it her web­site at www​.scrib​blingsand​such​.com.

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Home Invasion, fiction by Timothy Gager

The moun­tain lion that could kill you in the woods, instead races past, leaps over a rock and devours a small dog in the scenic yard you’re squat­ting behind. You feel like Dwight Good­en sit­ting on a dirty old sofa of his drug deal­er, watch­ing the tick­er tape parade on tele­vi­sion after the Mets won it all in 1986. Good­en had the dis­ease, he said. He had overslept.

It’s a sick sort of enter­tain­ment, until a woman in a quilt­ed apron runs out to save her dog. The moun­tain lion drops the small dog, in a mess that looks like a brain and zeroes in on the scream­ing woman.

You’ve dreamed about this woman, imag­ined that she would open her door and feed you warm pie and a hot cup of cof­fee. You’d sit on her couch and pet that muzzy mon­grel of a dog until his tail shakes off. Now, she back ped­dles, eyes the side door over her shoul­der, legs tensed about to spring, as the moun­tain lion slinks down low.

You find your­self shout­ing, “Don’t run! It’ll pur­sue you and kill you like it killed your dog.”

Rufus is dead?” she says.

Don’t run.”

You’re about twen­ty yards away from the dead dog, thir­ty from the lion and forty from the woman and these dis­tances are decreas­ing. The big cat is locked in on the woman and you can tip­toe almost to the dog, until a stick snaps under your boot. The moun­tain lion turns with stink eyes and starts walk­ing toward you.

The woman does not lis­ten and turns to run, but the cat is no longer inter­est­ed in her. It has begun to sur­vey you, as if it won­ders how you got here and why you were in the woods in the first place. You refuse to show it any fear and you’re not afraid to die; you’ve thought about it every day but you quick­ly review your options here on earth. You already know not to run and stand­ing still will most like­ly not work either. You guess you could get to the dog before the moun­tain lion can harm you and flip him the car­cass the way a lion train­er folks over a hunk of meat. You step toward the dog’s body.

After two steps, the dead thing jerks and it tries to stand. The moun­tain lion jolts toward the suf­fer­ing ani­mal. You’re almost an arms length away but the moun­tain lion moves at a great rate of speed and reach­es the dog before you can and runs off toward the woods. You feel the breeze from it against your leg.

A gun­shot whizzes past your cheek and you can see the woman stand­ing erect a foot from her door. When she pulls back again, you hit the ground but she miss­es once more and you hear her cry out angrily.

When the police come you’re on the front steps drink­ing cof­fee out of a cup that says “Sea World”. The woman gives up her sto­ry, that you are a hero and not an intrud­er she was try­ing to shoot. You don’t have any iden­ti­fi­ca­tion but you tell them every­thing you know. “My name is Jake,” you say.

 

Tim­o­thy Gager is the author of eight books of short fic­tion and poet­ry. He has host­ed the suc­cess­ful Dire Lit­er­ary Series in Cam­bridge, Mass­a­chu­setts every month for the past ten years and is the co-founder of Somerville News Writ­ers Festival.

Timothy's work has appeared wide­ly in print and on-line He has had over 250 works of fic­tion and poet­ry pub­lished since 2007 and of which eight have been nom­i­nat­ed for the Push­cart Prize.

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Half-Life, fiction by Kurt Taylor

The dent­ed front fend­er of Dan­ny Mather’s gold ’89 Cadil­lac Eldo­ra­do and the dead armadil­lo cracked and steam­ing along the road­side a half mile back were not unre­lat­ed. Dan­ny was tap­ping the steer­ing wheel, say­ing the issue was premeditation.

I see a ‘dil­lo cross­ing the road, I don’t try and hit ‘em. If you’re tryin’ to do some­thing, that’s pre­med­i­ta­tion.” The gas gauge was slip­ping under a half tank, the air con­di­tion­er scream­ing against triple dig­it heat shim­mer­ing on the asphalt run­ning out in front of us straight as an arrow.

Old man Stryk­er,” Dan­ny said, “now there’s a pre-his­toric ani­mal. Anoth­er mat­ter alto­geth­er.” Dan­ny swerved the Eldo­ra­do back and forth, tires squeal­ing, beer cans rat­tling in the back seat.

He knew what he was doing. He planned it. Hard to fig­ure what’s inside a man’s head. That’s what courts are for, right?” Dan­ny slapped the steer­ing wheel and let out a whoop, re-adjust­ed his cap.

Get me anoth­er beer, pard.” I hand­ed him a warm can of Tur­bo. Popped one for myself.

Stryk­er?” I said. That old dude’s done, man.”

Ain’t old when he owes me four hun­dred large.”

From what, that union pic­nic fund? Your lit­tle scam?”

You can’t even count to four hundred.”

Four hun­dred sound­ed big, and my mind start­ed to drift. It was the heat, the long ride and the creaky leaf springs in the Caddy’s chas­sis. Made me think some­times about weird stuff, strange smells and things, try­ing to be fun­ny. My way of pass­ing time. The warm Tur­bo made me think of one.

This beer tastes like warm goat piss,” I said. I want­ed Dan­ny to laugh.

How do you know what warm goat piss tastes like?” he said.

I thought it was kind of fun­ny. The beer, it’s warm, that’s all.” I took anoth­er swallow.

Seri­ous­ly, four hun­dred grand?” I said.

I ain’t wait­in’ twen­ty years for him to get out and shov­el some old rock pile and pull up a suit­case full of cash. He ain’t gonna last twen­ty years, nei­ther, and ain’t no one else talkin.”

Dan­ny brought me along for the ride, he said, keep him com­pa­ny while he had some busi­ness to tend to. I was the nav­i­ga­tor, the map read­er, and a bit of a mind read­er too.

I unfold­ed the map of Texas, a criss-cross of col­ored lines and a big patch of blue, the Gulf of Mex­i­co and a bunch of bor­der towns hang­ing on the Rio Grande. Boyd State Prison was a click west of Fair­field, halfway between Hous­ton and Dal­las if you were com­ing up that way. Four hun­dred miles south­west of Shreve­port, by way of Dal­las, the way we were com­ing, and we still had to fight through Big D, almost a hun­dred miles away. My thumb was on Fair­field, or close enough, my mid­dle fin­ger plant­ed on where I thought we were.

I looked up. Into the fat bar­rel of Danny’s .45 Colt 1911. He ain’t going to try dri­ving and shoot­ing dri­ving sev­en­ty five miles an hour with an armadil­lo feet up two miles back.

Just seein’ if you were awake there.” Dan­ny laugh­ing, his teeth yel­low, lips crack­ing. “No big ideas now, hear?” he said.

Ideas, I had plen­ty. Ideas of what to do with the mon­ey. Ideas that Dan­ny Math­er knew noth­ing about.

I know a car wash in Dal­las,” I said. “Biki­ni Girls rub your car nice and smooth and you dri­ve off smelling all good. Stop and get some beer, clean this trap.”

Clean car’s a sign of a sick mind,” Dan­ny said.

God con­jured up ‘sick mind’ when he took a look at us, I thought. We were cre­at­ed long after God thought it all up. I knew that.

Dal­las com­ing up soon?”

Uh huh.”

You ever shoot a guy in the back?” Dan­ny pulled his cap down low when he said it.

In the back? You mean, like when he’s walk­ing away from you?”

No, shit face, in the fuckin’ back yard. The back room. Jesus Christ.”

No. Not any­thing alive.” Dan­ny start­ed a rant that last­ed all the way around Dal­las on I‑635 north, around the tip of town through Mesquite, out­skirts of Gar­land and Uni­ver­si­ty Park and Richard­son and Car­roll­ton where we stopped for gas and filled up with lead­ed high octane. When we got back in the car Dan­ny weighed in again, shift­ing gears.

Not count­ing road kill, name your best shot, ever. Num­ber one, dead to rights kill.”

A big Buck. Up in Mon­tana. 30–06 car­tridge ripped the gut, put him down on the spot.”

Yeah? How far out?”

Two hun­dred, two hun­dred fifty yards.”

Ver­i­fied?”

I hunt alone.”

You hunt alone.”

Used to think no one want­ed to go with me ‘cause I get up around 2:00 AM, long before I’m up in the short grass hills and into the woods. I fig­ured no one want­ed to go with me because I’m always tak­ing the shots, get­ting there first and stuff.”

You fig­ure Stryker’s got any­body on the inside?”

I told you.”

Tell me again.” The Cad­dy had a lit­tle shake in the pas­sen­ger door pan­el down where the win­dow was rattling.

The way I remem­ber it, he’s got a cou­ple lif­ers in his cir­cle. They know guys on the out­side who know guys, that kind of stuff. He’s got enough to pay off any­one he thinks a threat.”

And you heard that from who?”

You know, I’m not real good with names.”

You’re not real good at a whole lot, are you?”

Crack a bull’s hide at two hun­dred yards.”

Yeah, you be good at that. Might be good at drinkin’ beer. Screwin’ low life Mex­i­can chicks. Good things come in small pack­ages and you most def­i­nite­ly might prob­a­bly have a very small package.”

Texas Hold ‘Em, I walked away with thir­ty sev­en hun­dred after an hour and half. I flopped a pair of kings, best hand I had and that was that. And don’t talk that way about Mex­i­can girls.”

Squeal and deal.”

About that time we were ten miles from Boyd State. Bar­be­cue joints and body shops lined the high­way off the Inter­state and when I asked Dan­ny if we want­ed to stop for some ribs he said ‘We?’ like some kind of sar­casm was in order. He gave the Cad­dy more gas and my stom­ach growled, my blood sug­ar low. The smell of mesquite and roast­ing pork lin­gered and I popped some chew­ing gum but didn’t offer any to Dan­ny. Stryk­er. That dude was leg­endary in these parts. For­mer minor league pitch­er and an orig­i­nal investor in the poul­try pack­ing plant that employed close to sev­en hun­dred folks, when it was going full steam, and then, some­how, the sto­ry went, the mon­ey van­ished. Stryk­er was found laid up in a motel with a cou­ple of guys he said were his accoun­tants and when police checked, they weren’t on anybody’s pay­roll. Stryk­er went down on three counts of embez­zle­ment, and I nev­er could fig­ure how you could be caught for embez­zling mon­ey from your own com­pa­ny. The mon­ey is yours in the first place, no? Stryk­er plead not guilty, six mil­lion in com­pa­ny funds dis­ap­peared, and Stryk­er was in for twen­ty. He was sev­en­ty three years old now. That gave him anoth­er 18 years to go and he’d be an even 90 years old. (My math’s not too good) That left a cou­ple of still unan­swered ques­tions, in my mind. We were three miles from the prison.

How come you’re the only one who thinks Stryk­er owes you mon­ey?” I said. “I mean, the com­pa­ny 401k stock I know went south, but what about the oth­er workers?”

Dan­ny looked at me for a moment, and turned back to the road. A bill­board flew by adver­tised the upcom­ing Texas Rangers sea­son tick­et plan if you liked base­ball in the bak­ing oven of Texas sum­mer. I didn’t.

Because,” Dan­ny said, “tech­ni­cal­ly, Stryk­er nev­er declared bank­rupt­cy. Which means he stills has lia­bil­i­ties. They don’t go away. The union nego­ti­at­ed a fixed amount of the con­tri­bu­tion, and just because he’s in prison, he’s not absolved of those debts.”

Absolved meant some­thing I wasn’t real­ly up on. But I knew mon­ey laun­der­ing. Done a lit­tle myself, when I had trans­ac­tions need­ing to be hid­den. Small time stuff. Pho­ny auto­graphed base­balls. Coun­ter­feit foot­ball jer­seys signed by me, ‘Emmit Smith’, ‘Troy Aik­man’, swap-meet shit guys hung in their game rooms, sold out of the back of a pickup.

Like the Swiss bank account thing?” I said.

Or laun­dered through a big ranch in Mon­tana with one of his fat-cat cat­tle baron bud­dies. Throw a few mil­lion at a fic­ti­tious ranch nobody checks on, you got your­self a safe haven. Bank­ing, dude. It’s how the rich get richer.”

The sign into the prison looked as non­de­script as an announce­ment for a bake sale or a com­pa­ny Christ­mas par­ty, only a lot more fine print. A low paint­ed white brick bor­der and chap­ar­ral bush­es marked the entrance.

We parked behind the bas­ket­ball court in a fenced tar­mac pen guard­ed by three barbed wire fences and a tow­er with a bull in a wide-brim hat hold­ing a scat­ter gun. Inmates were shoot­ing hoops, wear­ing dark blue pants and lighter blue long sleeved shirts, sleeves rolled up to expose mas­sive iron-pumped arms and prison tats with a fresh shine from the lotion they applied to keep the skin moist and lubed. The iron hoop clanked, the boink-boink of the ball bounc­ing off rough asphalt. A cou­ple of men were smok­ing and watch­ing. They all saw us get­ting out of the Cad­dy and straight­en­ing our shirts that were wrin­kled and sweat-soaked and messy. I won­dered if twen­ty years in the joint was worth it to get out at 90, or 80 for good behav­ior or what­ev­er they call it when you wash dish­es real good or swab the men’s room floor like you mean it.

Going through security—first a ques­tion­naire ask­ing for names, address­es and that kind of thing, two brief inter­views with burly guards with fat auto­mat­ic pis­tols strapped to Sam Browne belts and cuffs, pep­per spray and batons pok­ing down across their butts like tails—I con­sid­ered the trade-off again. Twen­ty years in a medi­um secu­ri­ty state facil­i­ty for the pos­si­bil­i­ty of get­ting out with a few mil­lion. Bet­ter than work­ing as a grave yard shift poul­try pack­er wear­ing plas­tic gloves and a show­er cap for a few years like I did. Dan­ny was a lead, not doing much on that mid­night-to-eight shift except flirt with Mex­i­can girls and order take-out from an all night Thai place. I was in charge of dis­pos­ing scrap. That’s what they called the head and feet and the entrails. Scrap. Crap with an ‘S’. They went in a bin that cooked in a broth of veg­etable juices and went out in a truck that emp­tied the con­tents at a cou­ple of cat food plants up the road. Gro­cery shop­ping one day, I was exam­in­ing the con­tents of can of Kit­ty Pride, try­ing to find out if maybe this par­tic­u­lar can had any­thing I’d had a hand in.

I end­ed up los­ing almost $6000.00 in my 401k pro­gram and I didn’t qual­i­fy for the match­ing grant, they’d said, even for a sup­posed valu­able employ­ee like me. That was what they called the guys who went a year with­out an acci­dent. A valu­able employ­ee. If you chopped your fin­ger off or got a nose bleed in the vat you were some­what less valu­able. But the six grand was gone. And Dan­ny said we’d get it all back. And it was about to start, right now.

The vis­it­ing room was emp­ty, the glass par­ti­tion smudged with fin­ger­prints where peo­ple put their hands up and imag­ine they’re touch­ing their loved ones and read­ing for­lorn mes­sages through a six inch Plex­i­glas plate that dis­tort­ed the light and made the per­son on the oth­er side look pale. I wait­ed, sit­ting in the fold­ing met­al chair next to Dan­ny Wade, won­der­ing how this was going to play. Stryk­er, I’d remem­bered, had a daugh­ter, who must be in her six­ties now, and a deceased wife. He was tall and thin with gray hair, not much though. That’s what I remembered.

The door opened on the oth­er side of the glass par­ti­tion and an arm motioned through the open­ing. The bel­ly pro­trud­ing on the hugest black man I’d ever seen was the first thing I noticed. Then his tat­toos, fad­ing blue and black against his dark smooth skin that stretched over a pair of thick hard­ened arms. He sat. Look­ing at us. Then he spoke.

You the guy who sends the letters?”

Dan­ny nod­ded. He motioned to me. “My friend, Mack Gant. I’m Fred Solomon. You’re the Bat Boy, right?”

The huge man nod­ded his head and light glint­ed off his fore­head and dome, shaved smooth and shiny as a bowl­ing ball.

We passed on all those rib joints com­ing in here, didn’t we Mack?” Dan­ny. Act­ing like he was some guy named Fred, call­ing me Mack, a name of a guy I knew who stole a crate of Dal­las Cow­boys jer­seys and got bust­ed not a mile from the sta­di­um and didn’t even know who Michael Irvin was.

Dan­ny went on. “See, we real sen­si­tive to com­ing in here drip­ping with sauce and lick­ing our fin­gers. Wouldn’t be right. How’s the food in the joint? You said you worked in the commisary.”

Pete frowned with his eyes, ran thick fin­gers over his dome, brought his hands togeth­er on the formi­ca counter.

Since you ain’t kin,” Bat Boy said, “you got about five min­utes. Cin­co min­u­tos. Food prep talk ain’t gonna cut it, you know what I mean.”

Christ­mas comes once a year.” Dan­ny sound­ed like he had come kind of code going, some­thing I couldn’t ful­ly appre­ci­ate. “This hol­i­day sea­son, you all set to do your shop­ping? And how ‘bout them Cowboys?”

Fuckin’ Cow­boys. Give me those old boys, Dandy Don, Staubach. Men. Know what I’m sayin’?”

It looked like Dan­ny did know what he was sayin’. They stared at each oth­er, Dan­ny work­ing his hands into a knot, Bat Boy mov­ing his lips around teeth that need­ed work, and when Dan­ny leaned towards the Plex­i­glas his breath fogged it a lit­tle bit and he drew a cir­cle in the frost with his fin­ger and put an X through it and wiped it off with his sleeve.

Push­ing his fold­ing met­al chair away from the counter, the huge black man stood up, sig­nal­ing that the vis­it was con­clud­ed. The door swung open, he walked out and the door clanked shut. The light on the oth­er side of the Plex­i­glas shut off, leav­ing us look­ing at a dark­ened slot of well-guard­ed prison space as if the huge pres­ence of the Bat Boy, now gone, left a void of mat­ter, a black hole of no spe­cif­ic grav­i­ty at all.

Dude, you got me in the mood for some of that road bar­be­cue,” I said.

Did I?” In the thin flu­o­res­cent light there were lit­tle hairs stick­ing out every which way on his eye­brows. “Let’s get out of here.”

On the way out the guards were grim faced, nobody say­ing ‘Have a nice day’, or ‘Y’all come back and see us’, the pho­ny, folksy say­ings peo­ple in the south laid on you when you were leav­ing. They looked at their watch­es, check­ing the time, count­ing min­utes and hours until their shifts were over and they could go home. We were in the Cadil­lac on our way out through the entrance with the white paint­ed brick bor­der, Dan­ny men­tioned that Bat Boy had a thir­ty year sen­tence for armed rob­bery, his fourth con­vic­tion, and he wasn’t going home any­time soon.

 

Ten miles out­side of town, there weren’t any free­ways or major state high­ways, and Dan­ny stopped at a one sto­ry motel that eased back about a hun­dred yards from the road in two long rows of pale green rooms sep­a­rat­ed by a lawn and a pool, a neon sign out front say­ing the place was called the Loco Road and we checked in. Two rooms. Dan­ny want­ed to take a show­er so I went out to the pool and count­ed dead crick­ets float­ing on the water.

An hour lat­er it was still over 95 F and we sat out­side at pic­nic tables behind a take-out stand and ate com­bo plates of pork spare ribs and brisket and wiped up the sweet brown sauce with white bread that came wrapped in foil, piled up the plas­tic forks and knives over the bones and cov­ered it all with paper nap­kins to keep the flies off. Our paper cups were half-full of Lone Star beer and we stared at the sun set­ting out over the Texas plain in a nice soft, orange glow, that meant heat would hold up until mid­night, at least. Dan­ny start­ed talking.

It’s the myth of the Amer­i­can west,” he said, tak­ing a swal­low of beer and putting the cup down. “White men set­tling this coun­try, cow­boys and Indi­ans, that John Wayne thing, guns going off and shoot-outs. Not so much told about the peo­ple get­ting robbed, towns get­ting loot­ed, what hap­pens to folks in those towns who get left behind with no money.”

I just listened.

Dan­ny said “So Stryk­er goes to prison, but what hap­pens to the peo­ple he ripped off?”

The Bat Boy. You cor­re­spond­ed with him?”

If I tell you, then you know some­thing, right?”

The cir­cle on the win­dow with the X. Your signal?”

He nod­ded out towards the emp­ty Texas plain.

When that big elk went down I was talk­ing about,” I said, “no one saw it but me. That was it, the last one I ever took.” I point­ed to the front of the take-out shack. “You want some cob­bler or some­thing?” Dan­ny shook his head, so I kept talk­ing. “Big old Buck prob­a­bly had good years out there on his land. Fight off a few stags, a Buck gets his way with his herd.”

I love it when you try to make sense.”

That feel­ing I had to do it again? It nev­er hap­pened like I thought it would. One time, that was all.”

One for you, one for the boo­gie man.”

No. Not like that. I don’t believe there’s a big score­board up there, keep­ing track of what’s going on down here. Don’t believe it hap­pens like that.”

That’s why you’re a Bap­tist and not Catholic. Every­thing mat­ters. Every­thing you do. Why’d they invent con­fes­sion? ‘Father I shot an elk but I won’t do it again. Say five Hail Mary’s and don’t let the door hit you in the ass’.” Dan­ny laughed. He fin­ished his Lone Star and spit out of the cor­ner of his mouth. “I’m going to turn in. Pick up a paper in the morn­ing. Tell me the head­lines.” Dan­ny got up.

Every­thing mat­ters?” I said

Danny’s hands were on his hips, his back to me.

When you were shop stew­ard.” I said. “Did that matter?”

They vot­ed me in for that.”

But did it mat­ter. What you did, or what you didn’t do, did it mat­ter? To you? To anybody?”

She was Mex­i­can, man. In a fuck­ing poul­try plant.”

I looked at Dan­ny, wait­ing as long as I could before I was going to have to ask him again. He raised his eyes. He had his chin up like he was strik­ing a pose.

You like Mex­i­can girls,” he said. “Don’t you? No big deal, a one night stand’s as good as another.”

You were the shop stew­ard, vot­ed in as shop stew­ard to look after things. Some­one peo­ple depend on. It was the grave­yard shift.”

He was right in front of me now, close enough I could smell Lone Star and see sticky sauce hold­ing on his lip. I stood right up to him.

Why do you think we’re here?” he said. “Why do you think we’re doing this?”

You’re doing it. And I think you’re doing it for yourself.”

Yeah, you got what they call great vision­ary perspective.”

 

Lat­er, he’d turned the lights off in his room and I went out­side to the dark pool reflect­ing head­light glare from a car crunch­ing into the grav­el lot. Light from the ‘Loco Road’ sign flick­ered and buzzed with the crick­ets and mos­qui­toes with a ner­vous hov­er­ing ener­gy. I tried to think.

What­ev­er Danny’s plan was, it was going on in a prison, and that, I knew, made it sub­ject to all kinds of unknown ele­ments and forces. And to me, Dan­ny had a $400,000 prob­lem with his myth­ic view and his hero­ic place in the history.

I went to my room and pulled out the portable police scan­ner radio, closed the door and went back to the met­al lawn chair by the pool. I put it on low, plugged in an ear­phone and lis­tened to a dis­patch­er and a cou­ple of offi­cers in squad cars in the park­ing lot of an all night donut shop. I put the radio on my stom­ach and leaned back in the chair and watched the reflec­tion of the Loco Road sign in the pool. Dan­ny had insist­ed on pay­ing for one only night. The scan­ner was qui­et, the air set­tling, and then a siren sound­ed in the dis­tance, a low wail­ing horn for ten sec­onds, fol­lowed by coy­otes yip­ping and scream­ing. The scan­ner crack­led and the dis­patch­er was call­ing all units, prob­a­bly a half dozen patrol cars on the all-night shift and they were being sum­moned, called, told to report one-by-one and get over to the prison fast and wait for fur­ther instruc­tions. The night world was in motion.

The top draw­er of the night­stand in my room slid open and I turned the night light on at the same time, feel­ing the Glock 19, check­ing the mag­a­zine and slip­ping the gun inside my waist­band, went out and closed the door.

Dan­ny answered after a half minute of knock­ing and call­ing out his name as low as I could. He stood in the dark door­way, noth­ing but his underwear.

What the fuck do you want?” His hair was all over the place and when he saw I had a gun he pulled back from the door. I went in, closed the door and clicked on the ceil­ing light from the switch next to the door. I set the chain.

Dan­ny, sit down.

The fuck you doin, man?

Give me your cell phone.”

I asked you a ques­tion.” He had his hands spread out halfway like maybe he was think­ing he could make a move and stop what was happening.

I said give me the phone.”

Use the desk phone.”

And the keys to the Caddy.”

Oh, you’re not seri­ous, dude. This ain’t going down like this. You think I don’t have backup?”

Not here you don’t. You give me the phone and the keys or it gets messy, right now. I’m just along for the ride, right? Cou­ple of days in Texas, doing a lit­tle job? That’s what you said. Lit­tle job with an accom­plice you can pin the whole thing on if it goes down wrong.”

I’m rep­re­sent­ing the union’s mon­ey that was stolen. It gets paid back this way, that’s what this is. Put the gun down. We’ll go over the details again, you dumb shit.” He start­ed to move his hands a bit. The Colt was most like­ly pret­ty near him, like he was some kind of real pro with right­eous plans to save people’s mon­ey, some­thing that would sound good in a state­ment if we’d get caught. Two dumb red­necks try­ing to do the right thing. If he’d just laughed once, twice, instead of say­ing things to me that made me think he thought I was a crack­er along for a joy ride with noth­ing to offer except hand­ing him beer. Sit there while he drew fog­gy Xs on Plex­i­glas and talk­ing in pre-arranged code so I wouldn’t know the whole deal, enough to sound like it might have been my idea.

Put your hands down,” I said. “Lace your fin­gers togeth­er and put your hands in your lap where I can see them. My fin­gers moved along the trig­ger. NOWDO IT NOW.” He did, his hands fold­ed on his navy blue box­ers like he was pray­ing, shoul­ders slumped and his chin fell a bit, his eyes still on mine.

Clean tow­els were piled up on the chrome rack out­side the bath­room and I walked back­wards with the gun on Dan­ny, pulled some tow­els down. I slid them with my feet until they were next to the bed. I grabbed the chair at the small desk into posi­tion where I could sit, pull the tow­els up and still hold the gun. The tele­vi­sion was behind me too and I punched on the pow­er until a chan­nel came on with an infomer­cial for liq­uid clean­er that worked on your car and even your dog and the guy was laugh­ing and the girl gave an 800 num­ber. Order Now!

The tow­el knot tight­ened up okay, I cinched it real well and told Dan­ny to hold his hands above his head. Dan­ny protest­ed and the girl on the tele­vi­sion was ask­ing the fel­la if he’d actu­al­ly washed a dog and he said ‘He loved it! You’ll love it too!, sound­ing like he and the girl had that tele­vi­sion ban­ter just on the edge of late night good taste. I tied Danny’s his hands with the tow­els and used the long left­over cloth to wrap around his mouth. The tow­el didn’t real­ly have any way to tie over his eyes so I left it dan­gling behind his head. I start­ed with the bed­side draw­ers, both sides, look­ing for the Colt. I searched his overnight bag and I was think­ing I was going to have to turn my back on him, and it was there, in the dress­er, under a pair of socks that he’d tak­en off that had that damp­ness that stays until you wash them. I checked the receiv­er and there was a bul­let in the cham­ber. The mag­a­zine was full, eight rounds of .45 caliber.

Cell phone’s in the car.” He had a smirk on his face.

The Colt was well-bal­anced and I put it in my front right pocket.

Get up slow,” I said, “and stand right there.”

It was after mid­night, sirens wail­ing all over town and it was a chance, sure, but the car was only thir­ty yards away. All we need­ed to do was get to the car. The phone was the only way I fig­ured he’d have to get any infor­ma­tion, and if I was right, it would make a lot of my wast­ed years kind of fade to the background.

Wait there,” I said. I cut off the plug from the floor lamp, then I cut the cord at the base of the lamp. It wrapped tight around his wrists, par­tial­ly hid­den by the towels.

We made it to the car with­out any­one see­ing us that I noticed. I told him to get in the car and he did. The Glock pressed to his ear, Dan­ny point­ed his chin at the glove box and I thought at first, why would he keep the phone there? If he’d be get­ting a mes­sage from some­one, he’d want the phone close to him. I nev­er checked the glove box. I closed the Cad­dy door and went to his room and gave myself five min­utes to search for the phone. Then I had an idea. The desk phone. Danny’s phone would ring if I called the num­ber from the desk phone and then I’d know where it was if it rang in the room. But desk phones keep records of num­bers that are called.

Five min­utes. I didn’t have the phone. Out­side, the Loco Road sign was off and the pool was smooth like a black slab of Onyx. The Cad­dy door was open, and Dan­ny was gone. The keys were in my pock­et. The sirens were still wail­ing and I put the scan­ner ear piece in and heard the dis­patch­ers chat­ter­ing with the patrol cars, voic­es chirp­ing in, Ten Four, Ten Eight, Ten Sev­en, snap­ping off radio codes, check­ing in and out of the police frequency.

Offi­cers in route…SWAT team engaged… ETA—— ten minutes!

Anoth­er voice checked in, right behind me.

Give me that gun.” Danny’s voice. Before I turned around, there was a thought of whether he’d been able to get the tow­el untied, make it look like he’d just got­ten out of the pool, or maybe he was stand­ing with his hands tied behind his back with white tow­els drag­ging behind his ass like a fuck­ing Sheikh look­ing for his camel. And then it came to me, where the phone was, before I turned around and played right into his hands. Because he had the phone. He had to.

Think I didn’t bring a back­up gun?” he said. “The laser dot’s on your skull.”

With an ear­ful of 10–7 10–8 dis­patch-speak radio ten­sion build­ing on what had to be a prison riot to get mon­ey from a con­vict­ed man who nev­er said Damn, I’m real­ly sor­ry y’all, I fucked up, here’s all your mon­ey back, Danny’s phone rang. No fan­cy ring tone, Danny’s phone tin­kled with a tonal qual­i­ty that belied coy­otes and ten codes and the wail­ing honk­ing siren. The phone con­tin­ued to jin­gle and I didn’t move.

His voice was soft. “Yeah?”

Drop and roll, that’s what they teach you for a rea­son. The grass was dry and soft to absorb my body when I hit and when I turned with the Glock point­ed, Dan­ny was run­ning away and I knew he didn’t have any back­up gun. The phone was my only chance. Dan­ny would rat me out the moment any heat came his way and talk­ing my way out of things wasn’t my spe­cial­ty. With sirens wail­ing and the prison going into lock­down, the phone would be his only way of get­ting infor­ma­tion. Text, a code, a voice mes­sage, some­thing on that smart phone had the loca­tion of what Dan­ny was look­ing for. Stryker’s mon­ey. Crouch­ing behind a line of shrubs along­side the cement pool apron in the dark­ness, I swung the Glock on a low arc. A man wear­ing under­wear and his hands tied couldn’t get far, but if he’d got­ten his hands free or thrown on a shirt, he might move around the motel grounds with­out attract­ing much atten­tion. I had the key to his room, so he couldn’t go back there. So I wait­ed, and lis­tened, track­ing the motel lot with the gun at full arm’s length, think­ing Dan­ny had to make a phys­i­cal move, some­time. The air had hit bot­tom, the tem­per­a­ture at its low point and the dawn­ing day would heat up soon. I got com­fort­able in a crouch track­ing the gun in a 180 degree arc, turn­ing to check my back. No oth­er move­ment, no sounds, sirens off. With the ear­piece stuck in my ear I lis­tened to a dis­patch­er squawk­ing offi­cers loca­tions, bark­ing mes­sages and codes to squad cars and back­up teams, a SWAT team stand­ing by for a ‘Go’ com­mand and I imag­ined auto­mat­ic rifles trained on unknown tar­gets, squint­ing through night vision scopes for shim­mer­ing puls­ing ghosts, green­ish and grainy. The infrared glare of human body heat.

My mem­o­ry drift­ed, back to grim grave­yard shifts pack­ing poultry.

Stryk­er took a tour of the plant at night one time just after mid­night. His hair grey and jelled, he kept look­ing at his watch, and I’d thought he want­ed to get home and catch a late movie or wake up his wife, but I hat­ed to attribute that qual­i­ty to the old man, that he might be like the rest of us and want a quick­ie before turn­ing in. He was on parade that night, smil­ing at the Lati­nas on the con­vey­er belt—Stryker prid­ed him­self on the fact that it was a clean, san­i­tary place for chick­ens to come to rest—and in the can­ning depart­ment, where steam guns went full blast dur­ing break and cleansed the place like a germ war­fare lab­o­ra­to­ry, he found, the sto­ry went, a dead rat under a young woman’s purse. What he was doing look­ing under a woman’s purse? He’s said his assis­tant spot­ted it, but I hadn’t seen any­one with him. A san­i­ta­tion vio­la­tion, Stryk­er claimed. He took the woman into his office and offered her a sim­ple solu­tion. A blow job was the only sen­si­ble thing, he’d been said to say, or she’d not only be fired, he’d have her removed from the union. She’d nev­er work in the indus­try again. A ‘rules vio­la­tion’. Can­nery Work­ers Local 62 shop stew­ard Dan­ny Math­er stood by and said noth­ing. That’s what the woman had told some co-work­ers, that Dan­ny had a smile on his face when she went to her knees and did what she was told to keep her damn job. She filed a griev­ance. It was dis­missed before it even got to the union griev­ance com­mit­tee. I’d men­tioned it to Dan­ny once. I asked him if what was being said was true, that he stood by and watched the woman lick Styker’s balls in order to feed her chil­dren. Dan­ny said I had some awak­en­ing to go through. An awak­en­ing, he said, to bet­ter under­stand the way the world worked, in all its man­i­fes­ta­tions, and a bunch of gob­bledy-bull­shit that I told him I was ashamed to hear him say. After lunch break, I was out on the park­ing lot when the woman came out who’d been sum­moned to Stryker’s office, going out to her car, her shift half done, but her career fin­ished, and I tried to talk to her. She kept on walk­ing, and I heard her cry­ing and talk­ing qui­et­ly on her cell phone. I felt so bad for her I tried to call her lat­er that day but her phone nev­er picked up and she was gone. Dan­ny won anoth­er vote for shop stew­ard the next month or so and the issue nev­er got dis­cussed. I felt like I was car­ry­ing some kind of bur­den I couldn’t shake.

Pur­ple bloomed on the hori­zon now and twen­ty yards away on the grass, I saw some­thing. It was the white tow­el, and I flexed and stretched my legs, dis­patch qui­et near five min­utes by then. The light switched on at the motel office. Two fig­ures, one at the counter, the clerk wip­ing his eyes and point­ing to the hall­way. Dan­ny walked out under the shad­ows of the over­hang towards the room. In his box­er shorts, hold­ing some­thing in his hand. He passed the red white and blue light of the Pep­si machine, stop­ping fur­ther down the walk way at the door. He turned a key, went into the room.

I made it to the machine and had a Pep­si clunk­ing down the chute into my hands in under thir­ty sec­onds. I cut a hole about an inch square on the bot­tom with my knife and poured a lit­tle bit out, and held the can so it wouldn’t leak any more Pep­si. I need­ed what was left.

Dan­ny would be get­ting some clothes, won­der­ing how he’d get the Cad­dy going, but I had a moment, a moment of sur­prise, and a most­ly full can of Pep­si. The door to his room unlocked and I held the door closed, lis­ten­ing, and when I heard the show­er, it was time to move in. He was hum­ming, some­thing bluesy, and then the show­er went off and the slid­ing door opened, and I moved on him, hold­ing the Pep­si can so I could plug the end with the Colt and when he saw me he smirked and dropped the tow­el like I was sup­posed to get hor­ri­fied that a wet man would be stand­ing naked in front of me with a wicked grin.

You remem­ber her name?” I said.

You talkin’ shit, man. Way over your head.”

Keep your hands in front of you.”

I’ll cut you in. You think I’m not gonna take care of you?”

There’s two ques­tions. Do you remem­ber her name?”

This about you and the Mex­i­can girl?”

These are my ques­tions. I’m along for the ride, remember?”

Who’s name?”

Wrong answer. Next ques­tion. You can say you’re sor­ry. Say you have some regrets, remorse.”

That’s not even a question.”

It’s close enough for you to suck your last chick­en wing.”

I don’t look back man, nev­er have. How much are we talk­ing about here? Ten grand? Make it twenty.”

Her name was Juani­ta Benitez.”

She don’t mean nothin.”

Yes, she does. She means this.” The .45 burped through the Pep­si with a wet pop, not much more than a truck drop­ping a down­shift on the high­way. Dan­ny had a hole in his fore­head and a sil­ly grin on his face, cher­ry-col­ored mist and a whole bunch of cordite-blast­ed Pep­si slid­ing down the glass show­er door and after I wiped the gun down I laid the Colt on the bath­room tile, turned and went out the door and clicked it shut with the ‘Do Not Dis­turb’ plac­ard swing­ing on the knob. The cell phone had an orange glow, like a palm-sized night light.

Wip­ing down my room didn’t take much time, and the Cad­dy let out a groan at first when I fired it up, but its pow­er fed off high octane and ran like hell out onto the pave­ment and out past the prison where blink­ing lights and bea­cons and spot­lights were danc­ing around the grounds like a fire-dance luau on Waiki­ki. Danny’s cell phone was wink­ing again. The first mes­sage I’d picked up just after I turned on the Cad­dy was the one I’d expect­ed. Some­thing about ‘the to-go order ready for pickup…need deliv­ery instruc­tions’, some­thing to that affect, and I’d keyed in my phone num­ber, clicked a hap­py face on the text menu and this was the reply. The open road was flat, smooth and emp­ty, a rosy dawn ris­ing behind me, and I flipped open the cell phone to read the text.

Update account sta­tus; ready for deliv­ery. It’s hot in the kitchen.’ An over­pass was com­ing up and I pulled under the con­crete and stopped the Cad­dy so I could punch in a response. Link him up with a web­site I used some­times for trans­ac­tions I didn’t need peo­ple nos­ing around in. Pay-Pal, Visa, off the books stuff. Col­lectibles, a pass­port pho­to, things that could be done with­out a prob­lem, if you could get the money.

Bat Boy had to have a posi­tion in this whole thing, a kick­back, a pay­off, some­thing that had to be pre-arranged. Best place to get up on all that was about a hun­dred miles from where I was, so I drove out and up onto an old coun­ty two-lane road past graz­ing Angus cat­tle and hay bales like stacks of pink gold in ear­ly morn­ing light. The coun­try radio sta­tion was play­ing Way­lon Jen­nings, and then real sud­den the DJ broke in and said there was more break­ing news com­ing in, sent it over to a reporter on a phone say­ing he was live at the prison with an update.

The Cadil­lac had adjustable pow­er seats with a bunch of switch­es on the driver’s side so I angled the seat back and turned off the radio. Into the mar­velous Texas prairie I drove, where I wasn’t going to see anoth­er town for at least an hour.

A great day to dri­ve. It was going to be a hot one.

 

Kurt’s first nov­el, Split Deci­sion, details a des­per­ate hunt for an injured and miss­ing pro­fes­sion­al box­er, and is cur­rent­ly in agent-query mode. He’s a stu­dent in the Uni­ver­si­ty of Cal­i­for­nia River­side MFA pro­gram in cre­ative writing.

His work has appeared in NoHo>LA, Urban Liv­ing Mag­a­zine, Fried Chick­en and Cof­fee, and Sad​doBox​.com.

Kurt worked on-air as co-host for Inside Dodgers Base­ball seen on tele­vi­sion out­lets through­out South­ern Cal­i­for­nia and Nevada.

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The Jeep, by Mather Schneider

It’s an old army sur­plus Jeep. My dad trad­ed a Bil­ly goat and 12 egg-lay­ing hens for it. He just drove it home one day, we saw him com­ing down our long dri­ve­way. Lots of peo­ple have long dri­ve­ways in Arkansas, but not many peo­ple have one as long as ours. It’s about 2 miles long and you can see some­one com­ing for at least a half mile. Dad likes it because he says no one can sneak up on us. Me, my sis­ter and mom stand star­ing at him dri­ving up. “Oh god,” mom says, “What now?”

We moved here at the begin­ning of the sum­mer from Chica­go, a few months ago. In Chica­go we lived in a fan­cy house in the sub­urbs and Arkansas is sure dif­fer­ent from that. I’m real­ly not sure why we came. It all hap­pened kind of fast. Dad says he’s going to build a house here some­day, but in the mean­time we moved into the old barn. We set up the loft like a real house.

Mom says she gets tired of doing the laun­dry by hand and bathing in the cold creek and nev­er see­ing any peo­ple. She says she gets tired of raw red hands and insect bites and shit­ting in an out­house. She says she miss­es her fam­i­ly. She says dad is crazy for want­i­ng to live out here. She says par­adise my ass.

One night when we first got here I was sleep­ing and some­thing crawled across my face. We moved all our fur­ni­ture with us and I was sleep­ing in my old bed just like back home when this thing crawled across my face. I wiped it away and sat up real fast. It was dark and I couldn’t find what it was but I think it is a rat, because ear­li­er we found a big rat try­ing to roll a pota­to out the front door. Anoth­er time when we first got here dad and Bill went into the next coun­ty and bought a keg of beer. They put the keg in the creek to keep it cold. Watch­ing dad roll that beer keg across the ground was what the rat remind­ed me of try­ing to roll that pota­to across the uneven wood­en floor of the barn with his tiny front paws. And then he ran across my face while I was sleeping.

I have a sis­ter who’s two years younger than me, she’s 10, but I don’t like her much. She nev­er wants to do any­thing fun and she’s always hang­ing around mom and bick­er­ing with dad. I don’t know how I end­ed up with her. So now I most­ly just run around the woods by myself. I build lots of forts and hide-outs and spend hours out there. I love spend­ing time out there in the woods by myself. It’s some­thing I can’t explain. It’s like I belong there.

I can’t spend as much time in the woods now, though, because school start­ed in the fall. I’m in sixth grade and my sis­ter is in fourth. We ride the bus to school. The bus dri­ver is Mr. Wilcox. Mr. Wilcox is not only the bus dri­ver but also the super­in­ten­dent and my social stud­ies teacher. It’s a small school. From my school in Illi­nois I already know every­thing that they are teach­ing up to at least 4 grades ahead. I argue with the teach­ers all the time and most of the time I come out right. Mom says I shouldn’t argue with the teach­ers but dad seems to think it’s all right. He says as long as I get A’s, who cares?

One teacher I argue with is the sci­ence teacher Mr. Glen­dale. Mr. Glen­dale is a very reli­gious man and is always mak­ing com­ments about god and reli­gion. Dad says Mr. Glen­dale is a bible freak. Dad says reli­gion is not sup­posed to be mixed up in school and how good of sci­ence teacher could a bible freak be? Mr. Glen­dale sent a dis­ci­pli­nary note home with me one time and dad got so mad he drove me to school in our old Bron­co. We final­ly had to sell the Bron­co, it was the last nice thing we had left from Illi­nois, out old lives. At least that’s what mom says. Well, dad had to go and get into an argu­ment with Mr. Glen­dale. And then he got in anoth­er argu­ment with mom when we got home. Mom likes Mr. Glen­dale. Mom’s par­ents, my grand­par­ents, used to pray at meals when we would vis­it them back in Chica­go, so she likes that sort of thing, you know, God and stuff.

Mr. Glen­dale has two ladies come in on Thurs­days to give us a bible les­son. We call them the bible ladies and they are old and fat and they car­ry with them their shiny white back­board where they show their pic­tures of Jesus and Noah. They have these lit­tle felt pic­tures that they can move around and stick to the shiny sur­face of their back­board to help tell their sto­ries. But the felt pic­tures don’t stick very well and are always falling off. Some­times the felt fig­ures fall off behind the ladies as they are talk­ing and only us kids can see them. I laughed about this one time and that was what the dis­ci­pli­nary note was all about.

We are sup­posed to mem­o­rize pas­sages from the bible and get prizes if we stand up in front of the class and recite them. There’s one girl, Lisa Lou Lennox, whose father owns a ranch that our bus goes by every day, and Lisa Lou gets up there every week and says aloud vers­es from the bible. She always mem­o­rizes more than any­one else and she is always dressed nicer than any­one else and she is pret­ti­er than any of the oth­er girls.I don’t mem­o­rize any of the pas­sages. The prizes you get are just nicer and nicer bibles. I usu­al­ly just sit there and draw pic­tures. One time I drew a pic­ture of the bible ladies and Lisa Lou and I drew horns com­ing out of their heads. Mr. Glen­dale found it and we argued a lit­tle about it but he didn’t try to pun­ish me.

One day Mr. Glen­dale stood up and announced there would be a state wide poster con­test. I’m pret­ty good at draw­ing and I was excit­ed. The theme, he told us, was “ener­gy con­ser­va­tion”. I thought about it all the way home on the 45 minute bus ride. My sis­ter and I were the first to get on the bus in the morn­ing and the last to get off in the after­noon. By the time we got home I had an idea. I would draw a car float­ing in a swim­ming pool with all these peo­ple in it laugh­ing and hav­ing a great time. My head­line would be “It’s Fun To Carpool”.

I went upstairs to the loft and went to my bed and got a piece of paper and began draw­ing. By the time I was fin­ished it was around 6 o’clock or so, and I heard dad com­ing home from some­where. That’s when I looked out and saw him dri­ving that old Jeep. Mom was cook­ing sup­per and we all went out­side to watch him dri­ve up. Dad was smil­ing as he drove it up to the barn and right past it to a place in the shade over by the edge of the woods. There’s an old log­ging road that cuts off and heads up into the hills, and for a minute I thought he was going to keep dri­ving up the road. But he stopped and he got out and he was grin­ning like he does when he’s a lit­tle drunk. “Got a good deal on it,” he said, putting his arm around mom’s shoul­der and pulling her clos­er and giv­ing her a kiss.

You’ve been drink­ing?” she said to him.

Just look at her,” he said to the Jeep, ignor­ing mom’s ques­tion, “now we can real­ly explore the coun­try­side, we can go any­where we want to.” He lift­ed his arm up to the woods and beyond. Mom got out of his grasp and walked around the Jeep. Then she looked at him again.

I thought we could go for a lit­tle dri­ve tomor­row?” he said. Tomor­row was Sunday.

I’ve got sup­per almost ready,” mom said, and walked back to the barn.

The next day my sis­ter and I were in the back of the Jeep but over the noise of the engine and the wheels on the rocky road we couldn’t hear what dad was say­ing to mom. All we could see was his arm lift­ing up and point­ing at things once in a while. We could see that mom wasn’t talk­ing, though. We noticed that she only rarely moved her head when he point­ed at some­thing. I was sit­ting on the cool­er, which mom had packed with food, even though we didn’t have any ice. It was a rough ride. My sis­ter and I had to hold on to the sides of the Jeep in order not to get thrown out.

We drove into the hills until the road was only two faint tire tracks. We didn’t know whose land we were on and it didn’t seem to matter.

Even­tu­al­ly we came to a point where the road just end­ed. There was a small field with a tiny, crum­bling old house in the mid­dle of it. The roof was caved in and one whole wall was gone. We got out of the Jeep and looked around. Dad stretched. The sun was high and the autumn leaves were every­where. The air was good and clean and there was only the sound of the wilder­ness and the sharp smell of the evergreens.

Looks like a good place for a pic­nic,” dad said.

What about that house?” mom said.

What about it?”

You think there’s any­one in there?”

Who the hell would be in there?” dad said, walk­ing over to it. He turned as he was almost there and called back to us.

It’s emp­ty.” He looked in and then stepped slow­ly through and disappeared.

We stood there for a while, and he didn’t come back out.

Tim?” mom called out. “Tim!” Then I heard her mum­ble, “You jack-ass,” as she stepped toward the old house. “Stay here,” she snapped to my sis­ter and me, as we start­ed to fol­low her. When she got up to the house she slowed down and peeked behind the wall where dad had gone. All of a sud­den she jumped back and we heard her scream. We jumped and my sis­ter screamed too. Then we saw dad come out and tack­le her and they went to the ground. It was play­ful-like, and my sis­ter and I laughed, and start­ed to go toward them. We stopped when we heard that mom was not laugh­ing, but cussing at him. We stopped there until dad got up off the ground and walked away from her into the woods.

Me and mom and my sis­ter had lunch on a blan­ket there in the clear­ing by that old house. After­wards we wait­ed a long time and didn’t say much. I wan­dered away but mom kept telling me not to go too far. Maybe 2 hours lat­er dad final­ly came walk­ing out of the woods on the oppo­site side of the clearing.We kind of silent­ly got in the Jeep and set­tled our­selves for a long bumpy ride home.

The Jeep wouldn’t start right away and dad put his palm down hard on the steer­ing wheel.

That’s good,” mom said, “Break the steer­ing wheel too.”

Shut up,” he said, get­ting out and lift­ing the hood.

Get behind the wheel,” he told mom, “Try to start it when I tell you.”

She did. “Now,” dad said, and mom turned the key. It start­ed, bare­ly, and dad got in and got it turned around and head­ed back. It died a cou­ple more times on the way home. This time he did not lift his arm or point to any­thing as we drove. All he did was dri­ve too fast and drink a few warm beers. And one time he stopped and got out to piss.

The Jeep died again about 100 yards from where dad want­ed it parked. We all helped him push it. It was hot, dad was pant­i­ng hard and sweat­ing heavy as he pushed that Jeep. I was amazed at his strength, and I knew he was push­ing most of the weight. Mom kind of grunt­ed and it was like she was going to cry while she pushed. My mom cries a lot. Not Dad, though. My dad does not cry.

The next day is Sun­day and dad was out there under the Jeep. He had put a piece of ply­wood down to lay on. There were prick­ly pears and sharp rocks every­where. I walked out with my poster, and stood there star­ing at his feet as he kicked his heels in the dust.

Dad?” I said.

Yeah?”

I’ve got this poster here,” I said.“There’s a con­test at school. Will you look at it for me?”

He came out from under the Jeep and sat up. He was dirty and grimy and he reached for his beer that was nes­tled in the grav­el. He had pushed it down into the earth a lit­tle bit so it wouldn’t spill. He took my poster and looked at it.

Car­pool?” he said, “‘It’s Fun To Carpool’”

What do you think?” I asked.

Well,” he said, “you’re for­get­ting just one thing.”

What?”

Car­pools aren’t fun.”

Oh.”

You ever ride in a carpool?”

No,” I said.

Do you have fun rid­ing the bus to and from school? Do you enjoy hav­ing to sit right next to kids you don’t like??”

No,” I said.

Did you have fun that day when you came home cry­ing because that 8th grad­er pushed you down on the floor and took your seat?”

Dad had told me if it hap­pened again to kick him in the nuts.

"Ok, then,” he said, tak­ing anoth­er drink of his beer and look­ing again at the poster. Then he looked off into the woods. “Let’s see,” he said, “You could draw the earth, make it like a big head…maybe with a blind­fold around its eyes…and give it a lit­tle body with its arms tied around the back of a chair.” He grabbed my poster and turned it around and I hand­ed him my pen­cil. He drew out his idea. He paused. “And the title could be…‘Earth: The Oil Hostage’.”

He hand­ed my pic­ture back to me, set down his beer and slid back under the Jeep.

When I took my new pic­ture into Mr. Glen­dale the next day his face went blank.

Did your father help you with this?” he asked.

No,” I told him.

Well,” he said, “It’s very good, Mark, but, did you, uh, have any oth­er ideas?”

I told him about the car­pool idea.

But that’s nowhere near as good as this one,” I said.

Now, I wouldn’t be so sure,” he said, “Carpool…people in the car laugh­ing and hav­ing fun…” “Yes,” he said, “I like that one, I think that’s the one you should do.”

Why?”

Dad was right, I thought, Mr. Glen­dale is an idiot.

Just make a first draft and then we’ll com­pare the two,” he said.

I don’t want to,” I told him, “I want to make a fin­ished copy of this one.”

He looked at me like I broke his heart. He always looks at you like that, that’s one of the things I don’t like about him. He reminds me of an old lady, though he’s a man and only 45. He reluc­tant­ly gave me a full size piece of poster board.

Be care­ful,” he said, “The first piece is free, but if you ruin it, the next one will cost 2 dollars.”

I worked on that poster for 3 nights in a row, and when it was fin­ished I showed my par­ents. Dad liked it right away, and looked at it for a long time, nod­ding his head and smok­ing his cig­a­rette. Mom seemed to have a hard time look­ing at it. It was like she had to force her­self to look at it, or she had to force her­self to look away from what­ev­er it was she was look­ing at in the woods. She likes to sit on the pic­nic table out­side the barn and smoke and stare into the woods. Dad always tells her to take a walk but she nev­er wants to. She sits there any time she gets away from her work, which isn’t real­ly that much time at all.

The weird thing is, lat­er, when I won the poster con­test I didn’t feel very good about it. The posters were sub­mit­ted to a state board that chose a win­ner from each coun­ty. I won our coun­ty and that’s where the poster con­test end­ed. There was no final win­ner, just a bunch of winners.

Mr. Glen­dale stood up in front of the class one day and made the announce­ment. It both­ered me the way he did it. He stood up there with a sad face and called my name. I just sat in my seat and looked at him.

Come on up,” he said, wav­ing at me.

I got slow­ly to my feet. I didn’t have many friends in that school. My feet were heavy as I walked to the front of the class. It felt like I was about to get swatted.

There it is,” Mr. Glen­dale said, indi­cat­ing with a faint move of his hand the cer­tifi­cate of award that was on his desk. He didn’t hand it to me, he didn’t even look at it. He looked right at me. I picked it up. It was a piece of paper with blue fan­cy writ­ing on it and my name and some strange sig­na­ture. There was a gold embossed seal in the upper right corner.

I went back to my seat. As I sat down I heard the same snick­er­ing that I hear when Lisa Lou Lennox recites her verses.

The bus ride home from school is always depress­ing. You look out the win­dow and you see the same things, the same hous­es and the same gul­lies and the same stands of trees and the same farm ani­mals and the same moun­tains in the dis­tance. That day I rode home with my cer­tifi­cate was no dif­fer­ent. I was sit­ting about 4 rows back from Mr. Wilcox. My sis­ter was a cou­ple rows back and on the oth­er side. We nev­er sat togeth­er. We were the only two peo­ple left on the bus. Mr. Wilcox looked at me in his big rearview mir­ror. I was star­ing out the win­dow and hold­ing my cer­tifi­cate with both hands.

"I hear you got an award today,” he said into the mirror.

Some­times it seems like he looks in that mir­ror more than he looks at the road. I always won­der how he keeps from crash­ing. But, I guess he’s been doing it for a hun­dred years. I guess he could do it in his sleep.

Yeah,” I said. He just looked at me some more and it was almost that same look that Mr. Glen­dale had. Only Mr. Wilcox seemed angry about something.

Lis­ten,” he said, “I think you should pay more atten­tion to Mr. Glen­dale, he’s only try­ing to help you.”

I didn’t know what to say so I just looked at him.

And you should pay more atten­tion to the bible stud­ies,” he went on, “you need to learn your bible.”

Why?” I asked.

Because it’s the right thing to do,” he said, “It’s the Lord’s word.”

I laughed a lit­tle, I couldn’t help it. I thought about what dad would say. Mr. Wilcox looked dis­ap­point­ed and kind of shook his head and looked back at the road.

At a cer­tain point in the ride home we come to a par­tic­u­lar­ly emp­ty area of high­way and this is where Mr. Wilcox does his after­noon bus clean­ing. He opens the door and the speed of the bus on the high­way cre­ates a vac­u­um inside, lift­ing all the paper and trash off the floor, whirling it around and even­tu­al­ly suck­ing every­thing out. Each day I watch the trash zip by the win­dow, a storm of love notes, paper cups, can­dy wrap­pers, lunch sacks and lost home­work. I held onto my award cer­tifi­cate as the cor­ners rat­tled in the wind until Mr. Wilcox shut the door again.

That night after din­ner I showed the award cer­tifi­cate to my par­ents and they con­grat­u­lat­ed me. I put the poster behind my bed. That was a month ago and it’s still there.

I hope we move away from here soon.

Dad has been work­ing on his Jeep for the last month. Every spare minute he is out there under it. Mom says he is neglect­ing the gar­den and every­thing else.

Then last night some­thing happened.

Dad was out there under the Jeep, as usu­al, and all of a sud­den we heard a scream. Me and my sis­ter were sit­ting at the kitchen table doing our home­work, and mom was doing some­thing at the sink. Dad came burst­ing in. He had a look in his eyes like he gets when he is very drunk. It scared us, the way he charged in like that, the thun­der of his boots and the blood on his head and hands and the ani­mal sound of his bel­lows. He stood there sway­ing, hold­ing the left side of his head. His face was red and so con­tort­ed with pain it was like I didn’t know who he was. He stag­gered toward mom, who stopped what she was doing and went to him and stead­ied him.

Some gaso­line had fall­en into his ear, and then he hit his head on the under­side of the Jeep while try­ing to get out. Mom didn’t pan­ic, though. She went and got a glass of water from the buck­et on the floor and sat down on a chair and eased dad’s head down onto her lap. He let him­self be bent down. She soothed him and turned his head side­ways and gen­tly poured the water into his ear. She knew just what to do, as if she had done this exact same thing many times before.

Just for­get that damn thing,” mom leaned her head close to his ear and whis­pered. “It’s ok. Just for­get it, please, it doesn’t matter…forget…”

I’m sor­ry,” he kept say­ing. “I’m sor­ry, I’m so sorry…”

In a few min­utes he calmed down and lay there in her lap, mov­ing his lips as if silent­ly pray­ing. I told you some­thing hap­pened. I know things will nev­er be the same. She ran her fin­gers through his gray­ing hair. The water ran down his face and into his eyes.

 

 

I was born in Peo­ria, Illi­nois in 1970 and have lived in Tuc­son, Ari­zona for the past 14 years. I love it here, love the desert, love the Mex­i­can cul­ture (most of it), and I love the heat. I have one full-length book of poet­ry out called DROUGHT RESISTANT STRAIN by Inte­ri­or Noise Press and anoth­er called HE TOOK A CAB from New York Quar­ter­ly Press. I have had over 500 poems and sto­ries pub­lished since 1993 and I am cur­rent­ly work­ing on a book of prose.

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High, West and Crooked

That's how I feel right now after try­ing to man­age my time in the last few days since I found out my chap­book Broke was going to be pub­lished (and quick­ly) by Didi Menen­dez and MiPoe­sias, the same folks that brought you Red­neck Poems. That great news, com­bined with the home sit­u­a­tion in which my wife is work­ing ever more hours as the B&N gears up for Christ­mas, and the kids need­ing what kids need, like, uh, food, home­work, inter­est­ing things to play with, and not so much TV, has giv­en me a pain I'm just now wend­ing my way out of. Hav­ing two books to pro­mote at the same time is not ide­al, but I'm not bitch­ing, either. I am cap­i­tal G grate­ful to Didi Menen­dez for see­ing fit to pub this chap­book. And in keep­ing with this, I've added a page for Broke to my bio here, and have all the links there for pur­chase and/or download.

Stay tuned here as well. New con­tent (not mine) by the end of the day. In the mean­time here's how you can order or down­load Broke:

To get a print edi­tion of Broke, please see mag​cloud​.com:

http://​www​.mag​cloud​.com/​b​r​o​w​s​e​/​i​s​s​u​e​/​2​8​6​157

To get the Kin­dle edi­tion see ama​zon​.com:

http://​www​.ama​zon​.com/​d​p​/​0​0​5​Y​D​V​X3G (link not yet live)

To get the Epub ver­sion see bn​.com

(link not yet live)

To get the free (!) edi­tions, visit:

Issuu:

http://​issuu​.com/​d​i​d​i​m​e​n​e​n​d​e​z​/​d​o​c​s​/​b​r​oke

Scribd

http://​www​.scribd​.com/​f​u​l​l​s​c​r​e​e​n​/​6​9​7​2​3​727

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